Essential
by Aphrodite420
Summary: Sequel to Silence in the Dark. This will focus on the repercussions of the events on Scorpius III on Spock and Nyota's relationship...Chapters 20, 21, and 22 are now up, and this story is COMPLETE!
1. Motives

**A/N: This is the sequel to Silence in the Dark...if you haven't read that, this will make absolutely no sense to you. I've decided to make this a mini multi-chaptered fic. I don't know yet how many chapters it will be, but it probably won't be too long, and the chapters themselves will be shorter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek. Really. I'm not joking.**

**Essential-Chapter 1: Motives **

The room was silent as Spock contemplated his next move.

He had been surprised to find that Jim Kirk was an exceptional 3D-chess player...for a human, anyway. He was the sole being on the Enterprise who could challenge Spock and have the slightest chance of winning.

Kirk had unexpectedly invited himself over to Spock's quarters half an hour ago. Although well aware that humans were illogical and therefore acted on illogical impulses, Spock knew he had an ulterior motive that had nothing to do with chess. He had decided that he would comply with Kirk's wishes for a chess match and patiently wait for whatever his captain really had in mind.

Spock had just moved his bishop up a level and Kirk was countering his move when he spoke for the first time since the game started.

"Have you visited Lieutenant Uhura yet?" Kirk asked, his eyebrows furrowed. His eyes did not move from the chess board as he moved a knight. Ahh...so _this_ was his motive, Spock thought.

Spock did not reply. He placed his elbows on the table, his fingers interlaced with the pointer fingers pressed against his lips. His eyebrows drew together slightly. His eyes also did not move from the chess board.

"Bones told me she was released yesterday. She's confined to her quarters for the next three weeks." Kirk continued. His eyes darted up to Spock, registering the blank expression on his face and the way he would not meet his gaze, before looking back at the board. "She's recovering well, apparently."

Again, Spock did not reply. He was again countering one of Kirk's moves with one of his own. Kirk knew he was going to be reluctant to talk about Uhura.

"Well, have you seen her at all?" Kirk pressed, starting to become impatient. Spock finally looked up at him.

"I would prefer not to discuss private matters...as I am sure you are attempting to coerce me into doing, Captain." Spock replied.

"It's a simple yes or no question, Spock." Kirk sighed. "And I thought we've been over this? When off-duty, I would prefer that you call me Jim."

"Jim." Spock said, with just a touch of coolness in his tone. "I do not comprehend why you are interested in knowing whether or not I have seen Lieutenant Uhura since the incident on Scorpius Three."

"Because she made it plain to me that she wanted to see you while she was in sickbay." Kirk retorted. He didn't usually use this tone with Spock, but at the moment, even _he_ was a little disgusted with him.

"If it would set you at ease, Captain." Spock replied slowly, his gaze wandering back to the chess board. "I saw Lieutenant Uhura yesterday, as soon as she was discharged."

"Even though I told you _repeatedly_ that she wanted to see you before that, while laying in a biobed and in pain?" Kirk asked, his tone almost condescending.

"It would not have sped up her recovery if I did visit her." Spock replied. "And I believe it is your turn, Captain."

This time, Kirk made no comment about Spock calling him 'captain'. He knew it was Spock's way of informing him politely that he thought Kirk was prying into his private affairs. But Kirk didn't give in that easily. He made a hasty move with his rook and returned to their 'conversation'.

"It doesn't matter whether or not it would speed up her recovery. Judging by her injuries, she went through quite an ordeal down there on that planet. She needed you for moral support, to know that you cared about her. Damn it, Spock! How can you not understand that after spending the last several years among humans? When a human- especially a woman- is in pain, they _need_ someone to be there for them!"

Spock was again staring at the board, his pointer fingers still pressed against his lips. He had heard this already, of course- from Nyota herself.

"If someone were to see me visiting Lieutenant Uhura in the medical bay, they would be able to deduce the state of our relationship. While our relationship is not, in itself, against Starfleet regulations, it is the reactions of the crewmembers I am concerned with. I suppose you have heard about Captain Jennison and Ensign O'Hara?"

"Yes, but this is different! No one on the Enterprise would do that!"

"You cannot possibly be able to speak for all members of the crew, Captain." Spock replied. He moved his queen as he spoke. "Allow me to refresh your memory. Captain Jennison of the U.S.S. _Freedom_ pursued a romantic relationship with Ensign O'Hara. Their relationship was public knowledge, and everyone aboard the starship was aware of it. Three months passed without incident, until members of the ship's crew began to claim that Captain Jennison was showing Ensign O'Hara favoritism. From the slight changes in her schedule to delegation of duties, it was believed that he made these changes because she asked him to while in the privacy of their quarters. Starfleet Command investigated the matter, and refused to accept that the changes were not motivated by favoritism, but rather because Miss O'Hara's expertise was needed in other areas at different times. They were court-martialed and demoted.

"It was later revealed that the crew members who reported the 'favoritism' had conspired together for that purpose. It was never revealed _why_ they should wish to separate Jennison and O'Hara, but one of the conspirators stepped forward and confessed. He even had evidence by way of a recorded conversation to prove it."

"What's your point, Spock?"

"This is an example of why I would like to keep my relationship with Lieutenant Uhura private, Jim. If it were widely known throughout the ship that we are not merely Commander and subordinate, others may see it as an opportunity to create trouble for myself and Nyota. Any professional decisions I make regarding the Lieutenant may be wrongly interpreted or accused as a sign of favoritism, even if it is not. Nyota and I have agreed on this, after the Jennison debacle. We made this decision to preserve both of our careers, and also our relationship."

Kirk didn't point out that Spock had slipped and called her Nyota. He found it strangely endearing.

"Spock, I still don't see why you didn't go see her. You have no idea how disappointed and angry she was when I spoke to her about you. She's your _girlfriend_ for God's sake! You're supposed to be there to comfort her at times like these! Favoritism and false accusations be damned! Your reasons for keeping your relationship a secret are weak, and you know it! You should have thrown all that out the window as soon as she got back from whatever the hell happened to her! You should have gone to her!"

"Captain." Spock said, his voice even, but quieter than usual. "It was necessary to stay away."

Kirk scoffed and stood, not caring that their game was not even over yet. Both of them had forgotten about it, anyway. "Necessary? Maybe _you_ think so. But imagine how hard it was for Uhura...everything she went through, and maybe she thought about you a lot during it. She almost died in medical. Then she woke up with only Bones for company...how do you think she felt about that? Bones told me that the first thing she did was ask about you. She was obviously worried about you. And even though I know different, I'm sure she thinks that maybe _you_ weren't worried about _her_. It wouldn't have hurt for you to take that tiny risk and go see her when she needed you most."

He was pacing back and forth, his eyes on Spock, who would not look up from the hands holded on the table before him. It frustrated him that there was no way for him to know if Spock was listening to his words and actually considering them. He sighed.

"I know it's none of my business. I'm prying. But really...you can't have actually thought it would be good for her _not_ to see you?"

Spock finally met his gaze. His face- and even his eyes, which usually did show a hint at what he was feeling- was carefully blank.

"Perhaps my reasoning was not quite so selfless." He said slowly, as if weighing each word. Kirk stared at him, beginning to comprehend.

"Well...just don't hurt her anymore, okay? I need her fully focused when she reports back to the bridge in three weeks."

Spock's eyebrows slowly drew together. "Captain, it is not- and never has been- my intention to hurt Lieutenant Uhura."

"Well, if you ask me, she's plenty hurt. Try to make it up to her." Kirk said. He glanced around at the digital clock over the door. "It's time for me to report to the bridge. I'll see you later, Spock."

He turned and left the room. Spock turned back to the abandoned chess board and began to reset the pieces.

He was unsure how he felt about his captain's interference in his private affairs. On the one hand...he appreciated Kirk's seemingly thorough knowledge of what humans may require in times of need, something which Spock was still struggling with. Yet, a part of him was fuming. Kirk claimed that he and Spock had been friends in the alternate timeline, and since the events that centered around Nero, he had been attempting to establish a friendship. While they did seem to get along well, Spock did not believe that they were friends enough for Kirk to tell _him_ what _he_ did wrong in _his_ romantic relationship. They were not friends enough for Kirk to give him advice and berate him for his errors- beyond his professional duties, of course.

Spock steepled his fingers once more and stared at the chess board unseeingly. Yet, Kirk did have a point...Spock's decision not to visit Nyota in sickbay had not been beneficial to her. It was decidedly selfish...and despite what Kirk thought, it _had_ been necessary to stay away...

Spock closed his eyes, thinking back to five days, eight hours, and twelve minutes ago...

**A/N: I MAY decide to make this fic longer...I guess it depends on reviews! So, if you want me to write a full-length fic, you'd better let me know!**

**The next chapter will be longer (to make up for the shortness of this one), and will mostly be flashbacks exploring Spock's thoughts and feelings while Nyota was missing in Silence in the Dark. This chapter was written mainly to introduce Kirk's stance on the subject, and also to clarify just why Spock's and Nyota's relationship is secret. I know, the reasoning was weak...so in other words, SPOCK'S reasoning was weak. The secrecy will be addressed in later chapters. **

**Also...my original intent was to have this be entirely from Spock's POV, but I will occasionally venture into Nyota's because I feel that there are still some points that need to be addressed by her, not Spock.**

**Please review, it motivates me to write faster and really lifts my mood!**


	2. Ferocity

**A/N: Pretty much this whole chapter is set a few days prior to the first chapter...and if you haven't yet read Silence in the Dark, I suggest you go read that first, so you know what is going on in this chapter. **

**Chapter 2: Ferocity**

_**Five days, eight hours, and twelve minutes ago...**_

Spock watched warily as the ridiculously obese man paced before them, his yellow eyes roaming over the away team, observing their paler skin and Spock's strange ears and eyebrows. He was hardly aware of the pain in his shoulder as he saw the men surrounding them eying Nyota lasciviously...

He was accustomed to men aboard the Enterprise having an interest in his Nyota. It was to be expected...she was a very appealing woman, and they were unaware that she was already taken. But the men on the Enterprise crew never stared at her so openly, so disrespectfully. They did not slowly lick their lips and run their tongues over their sharply pointed teeth, grinning at her as if they could imagine her without clothing...the mere idea of what they could be imagining created a small flame of anger within him.

His arm was lightly touching Nyota's, and he felt her shiver. As it was very warm on the planet, he knew it was not because she was uncomfortably cool. He switched his phaser to his left hand and discretely touched his fingers to her wrist.

"_Remain calm, ashayam. I will protect you_." Spock said quietly in Vulcan. His words were not for the others to hear. He could feel through the weak empathic link that she was reassured, confident, relieved.

His eyes darted around, taking in the situation. They were surrounded by twelve men armed with crossbows...the away team's weapons were far superior, but they were still outnumbered. Twelve warriors against four men and a woman...admittedly, Nyota was as tough as any man, but she would not be fighting if he could prevent it.

He was attempting to form a logical course of action that would result in them- or at least, Nyota- returning to the Enterprise and to safety when the leader stopped to study her. Spock felt his jaw clench, his plan for safe escape fleeing his mind as the man reached out to touch Nyota..._his_ Nyota...on the cheek.

For Vulcans, skin to skin contact was uncommon- especially with their hands. Their hands were extremely sensitive, and since the strongest telepathic receptors were in the fingers, and also in the temple, to touch another's face in that manner was exceedingly intimate. It was an action that Spock made often, as he enjoyed the feel of the smooth skin of Nyota's cheek beneath his fingers.

The fact that a complete stranger, dressed in furs and leaves and large enough to weigh the same as three men, would touch her in such an intimate way...right in front of him...Spock felt something within him snap, and something falling away- his logic.

He felt great roiling waves of anger, possessiveness, and challenge well up within him, completely taking over... this was entirely Vulcan. This was not human, it was deeper, stronger, more dangerous...this was something from when Vulcans were savages and had to fight for their mates, had to protect them from others attempting to claim them.

Nyota was _his_. He must protect her- she was his mate. It was his duty to her. To allow this man to take her as his would be unforgivable.

Spock felt his chest rumble and heard himself growl...a sound that Vulcans no longer made. It was a sound of challenge, of passion, of complete loss of control.

Spock had never gone through Pon Farr, but he was sure that this is what it felt like.

He had experienced anger somewhat like this before, when his mother had been taken from him...but this was different. It was much, much worse.

"Spock?" he heard her voice ask, full of both fear and wonder. She had never seen him like this before...

He did not answer her. Instead, he locked eyes with the man still standing before her.

"_She is mine_." he growled in Vulcan, claiming her.

Spock felt a tongue of the flame within him rise higher as the man laughed. When he reached out to pull Nyota to his side, Spock almost growled again. He was quickly losing his last vestiges of logic, of control. Spock's right hand- the one that had until recently been touching Nyota's wrist- clenched into a fist. His left tightened around his phaser, and he felt his whole body tense. That ancient, primal, possessive, _Vulcan_ feeling became even stronger.

That was when Kirk stepped forward- undoubtedly, he had noticed the state that Spock was in.

"Come on...really...just calm down. Release her and we'll leave, never to bother you again."

The man's eyes narrowed, and he reached out to push Kirk out of his way, keeping Spock in his line of sight. He pulled Nyota closer against him.

"Let me go, you bastard!" Nyota cried as she struggled to escape his tight grasp. Her eyes met Spock's, and he saw her fear. He must protect her...he lowered his phaser, and when he saw tears standing in her eyes, the very last of his control slipped away. He forgot that he was surrounded by armed men, or maybe he just did not care any more. He forgot that he had a phaser. He was driven entirely by instinct, by the ancient duty to protect his mate...

All he could see, all he was aware of was the man holding Nyota...he lunged forward, with every intention of choking him to death. But before he could even reach him, three others were surrounding him, pulling him away, as the man left with his mate.

He struck one man directly in the chest with a closed fist, and he man reeled away, coughing up blood. Kirk, McCoy and the remaining security guard- all whom he had forgotten were even there- joined him. Red phaser fire lit up the clearing, as Spock struggled with the warriors now surrounding him, trying to bring him to the ground. He wondered, briefly, why they did not use their crossbows...he did not understand it. They had not hesitated before to injure him and kill Thompson...

If he did not have an arrow protruding from his shoulder, hindering his movements, he could have taken them all on...

One of the men reached out to grasp the arrow- and he pulled it downward, which illicited a short cry of pain from between Spock's lips. It successfully brought him to his knees, as the wound began to bleed much more heavily than before. He was still dazed by the pain when he heard Nyota's voice.

"Spock!" she called, and he looked up as she emerged from the forest, looking frantically around for him.

"Nyota!" he called back, and he struggled to stand, shoving the two men who had been trying to contain him away. He began to make his way toward her. She was safe...if he could only just reach her, hold her...

But before they could, five of the men appeared behind her, pulling her back to where their leader waited by the clearing. At the same time, he was also pulled back by others.

"NO!" Spock cried, watching helplessly as Nyota struggled against her captors. He tried once more to get to her, but he was again held back. Pain was shooting from his shoulder.

One of the men holding Nyota raised a rock, and hit her on the head. Spock felt the fury rise within him again, replacing his fear and despair.

"NYOTA!" he roared, struggling once more to reach her. Her eyes were unfocused, and she went limp as she was carried away. He was weakening from the loss of blood, or else he would pursue them...

The warriors remained until Nyota had been out of sight for several minutes, and then they suddenly released Spock and he fell to his knees. They melted away silently into the shadows...

The clearing was silent. Spock stared down at his hands, which were still balled up in fists, his knuckles white. His chest was heaving. He had failed her...he had not protected her...he had not kept his promise...

He felt a hand on his shoulder. He knew that only Kirk would dare touch him...especially at a time like this.

"It's not your fault, Spock." Kirk said gently. Spock looked over at Kirk, but did not reply. Kirk appeared uninjured...he had paid no attention to what happened while he was struggling to get to Nyota, but he noted that all of their phasers had been tossed clear across the beaten-down clearing. They must have somehow been disarmed and also held at bay, like Spock was, while Nyota was taken away. He looked around, and saw that now both of the security officers were dead...McCoy knelt on the ground next to Watkins. He met Spock's gaze.

"We'd better beam up to the Enterprise and treat that shoulder, Spock." McCoy said quietly. Spock slowly shook his head, and then used his hands to shove himself off the ground.

"No." he said, his voice much rougher than normal. "I must find her. I cannot leave without her."

He began to walk in the direction the natives had gone in, determined to find his Nyota, to ensure that nothing had happened to her...he would get her back, even if he died in the attempt.

Kirk cut in front of him, and placed his hand on Spock's right shoulder- the uninjured one.

"Spock, I can't let you go like this. You'll bleed to death." Kirk said. "We'll beam up and then-"

"I must find her." Spock repeated. He still felt that primitive possessiveness, the anger...but it was not as strong as before, and he could slowly feel his control returning.

"I have no intention of leaving without her." Kirk said firmly. "But before we do anything, your shoulder needs to be treated. I swear, we'll get her back. We just need time to regroup."

McCoy was watching them, his brow furrowed. It occurred to Spock that McCoy was the only one present who was unaware of his and Nyota's relationship. He was not in a state to explain.

"Very well." Spock whispered, staring off in the direction Nyota had disappeared in. Despite his acquiescence, he could not help but feel that, the farther Nyota was taken, the less chance he had of ever getting her back...

________________________________________________________

He did not speak another word while they beamed aboard with the fallen crewmen and when he was escorted to sickbay. He stared off at nothing as McCoy removed the arrow and tightly wound bandages around Spock's shoulder.

"I'll give you a blood-replenishing hypo and you'll be all set." McCoy said into the silence. Spock slowly looked over at him, his eyes blank.

"We should be looking for her." was all he said. "My own welfare is not important."

"Of course it is. You're in no fit state to go chasing after our Chief Communications officer." McCoy said, readying the hypo. "And when this is all over, we'll still need our first officer."

Spock did not answer him. As soon as the hypo had been administered, he slid off of the biobed and pulled on a fresh blue shirt. He then turned to Kirk, who leaned in the doorway watching.

"Captain." he said in his normal, even tone. All traces of the anguish he still felt were gone from his voice. "I request permission to lead the search party."

Kirk surveyed Spock for a moment. Spock's control had now fully returned, and he stood with his hands clasped behind his back. He stared at a point over Kirk's shoulder.

"Permission granted, Mr. Spock." Kirk replied. "But I'll be going down with you."

Spock nodded once in acceptance. "We will require a full security detail, and night-vision capabilities. We will not rest until Lieutenant Uhura is found."

"Of course not." Kirk agreed. "Mr. Spock, you do realize that this is not approved by Starfleet Command?"

"I am aware of that, Captain." Spock replied, finally allowing his gaze to meet Kirk's. "However, you have been pardoned for such doings before. While Starfleet regulations prohibit negotiating with terrorists...I do not believe we will be negotiating. I do not see how we are breaking rules."

Kirk gave the smallest of grins before clapping Spock on his good shoulder.

"Then let's go get Uhura." he replied.

_________________________________________________________

The vegetation crunched under Spock's boots. He did not move his eyes from his tricorder as he stepped over tree roots and ducked under branches.

Night had fallen again. They had been searching for Nyota for twenty-eight hours now. The security detail had taken turns with shifts in the search, but both Spock and Kirk had not ceased. He knew his captain was exhausted- but he also knew that if suggested that he rest, Kirk would refuse.

Spock himself was not tiring. He still felt that he must find Nyota...he was becoming desperate. He must find her. He would not be able to forgive himself if anything happened to her...it had been his duty to protect her...

He felt the fury rise within him again, coupled with frustration. The search party of one hundred men had taken off in every direction in groups of ten. They all had communicators open so they could keep contact at all times. But Spock could not help but feel that he would do so much better by himself...if it were not for the fact that he was hindered by his own search party, he could have found her already...

Anything could have happened to her...she could be injured, dead, or even worse...sexually violated. His hand tightened around his tricorder and his teeth ground together at the thought. If they had done anything to her...he would find whoever had done it and tear them apart, limb from limb...

He felt himself beginning to shake. This had happened numerous times over the past twenty-eight hours and twenty-two minutes. At times, his determination to find Nyota almost overwhelmed him...

He paused to regain control before anyone saw him so affected. He had walked ahead of the others in his group, and took the time before he became visible to them to center himself.

This time, it did not work. Nyota could be anywhere in this large rain forest...anything could have happened to her. He balled his hand into a fist again, and rammed it into a nearby tree.

The impact shattered the bark and cracked the wood. He felt burning pain in his knuckles, and looked down. Green blood dripped from his hand, splattering the green bush below, blending in. He watched it drip down for several seconds before wiping it off on his trousers and looking around him.

He wore night-vision goggles, like everyone else did. He saw nothing in any direction but more vegetation. It frustrated him that there was a high probability that he would not be the first to find Nyota...he wanted to be the one to ascertain that she was alive and uninjured.

He knew that the longer they took, the less the chance that she was still alive...but he would not give up until he saw her body with his own eyes.

He had partially regained his control over his outward expressions of emotion, but his logic had fled him long ago. The only thing in the universe that mattered to him now was getting Nyota back on the Enterprise, alive.

________________________________________________________________

"Spock, you really need to stop getting so far ahead of us." Kirk panted as he joined Spock where he still stood by the tree. Spock saw his eyes go from the blood-spattered tree to Spock's still-bleeding knuckles, but he said nothing.

"Captain, I-" Spock began. He was about to tell Kirk that he intended to go ahead of the team by himself, but they were both interrupted by the crackle of Kirk's comm unit.

"Captain Kirk, come in, this is the Enterpise." came Miller's voice.

"This is Kirk." Kirk replied, lifting his communicator from his side.

"Captain, you can call off the search party. Lieutenant Uhura just beamed aboard."

Kirk looked up at Spock, and saw that his eyes were wide, his breathing faster. He met Kirk's gaze.

"What's her condition?" Kirk asked hurriedly.

Miller now hesitated. "I'm not entirely sure, Captain, but Dr. McCoy was just paged to the transporter room for an emergency."

Spock felt the blood drain from his face..._no_...please, no...

"Beam me and Spock up first, Miller. Right now!" Kirk barked. "After we're there, you can start to notify everyone else and beam up the security detail."

"Aye, Captain." Miller said. Spock's heart was beating incredibly fast as he felt them being beamed from one place to another.

________________________________________________________

The first thing he saw was a smeared pool of blood on the transporter room floor. His breathing stopped when he saw it. _No!_

He and Kirk immediately rushed to medical bay. However- they were met by locked doors.

"Why are they locked?" Kirk asked, scowling.

"When there is an emergency situation the medical bay is cordoned off, Captain." Spock replied hollowly. He laid his hand against the door and shut his eyes. "We must wait."

"We can stay here." Kirk suggested. Spock shook his head. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be here when they told him what he was beginning to suspect.

"That would be unwise." Spock replied quietly. He looked up at Kirk. "I will retire to my quarters and begin to compile our report, Captain. I trust you will inform me of...the outcome."

He slowly walked away, struggling to keep himself in control. How long would he have to wait? How long would he be able to bear it? How long would he have to think about the possibility that Nyota may die...?

He made it to his quarters, and heavily sat down in the chair before his computer console. He stared at the blank screen...

He had failed her. She was injured, she may die...and it was his fault. If only he had been able to control his reaction to the man touching her cheek...she could be safe. Had he remained in control and not succumbed to his primal instincts, she could have been unharmed...

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to distance himself from his pain. It did not work. He turned to the computer console and turned it on. He began his report.

__________________________________________________

The door chimed, and Kirk entered.

"She just came out of surgery." Kirk said immediately, without preamble. "Bones says she'll be fine."

Spock paused in his typing, to allow relief to wash over him. She was alive...and she would recover. The beast that had been in him for the past day and a half went away, and he felt calm for the first time since Nyota's abduction.

"That is...good." Spock replied. His words were not even close to being enough to describe how he felt.

"Are you going to go see her?" Kirk asked. Spock turned back to his computer screen.

"I do not yet know." Spock replied. He could feel his ability to think logically finally coming back. He was ashamed of how he had recently acted. He had been out of control...not at all himself.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Kirk asked incredulously.

"Precisely what I said, Captain."

"We're off-duty, call me Jim." Kirk reminded him for the thirty-seventh time.

"Jim, I must finish this report. Then it will be time for my shift on the bridge. I must prepare." Spock replied. He stared intently at the screen as Kirk gaped at him.

"Okay..." Kirk said slowly, and turned for the exit.

"Jim?" Spock added, somewhat hesitantly. Kirk stopped and looked back. "Would you please...check in on Lieutenant Uhura as often as possible?" he asked. Kirk stared at him for a moment.

"Sure." he replied. "And I'll let you know when she's awake. Bones says it will be a few hours yet."

Kirk left, and Spock turned back to his screen. He keyed in a command and brought up a file.

Medical records were off-limits to anyone aboard a vessel except the ship's medical staff- unless a particular record was required by a commanding officer for professional purposes. In that event, the commanding officer must enter their access code when the prompt came up on the screen.

Spock, however, was quite knowledgeable about computers. He did not wish anyone to know that he was attempting to access Nyota's file- and all log-ins to a file were recorded when accessed with a code.

What he was doing was not entirely ethical, but it was necessary. He hacked into the medical database and brought up the file of one Nyota Uhura.

It was full of the details of her recent physicals, the only thing worthy of note being her monthly progesterone hypo that prevented her from conceiving. He went to the final page, and the most recent entry.

He braced himself. He was not entirely sure that he wished to know all of her injuries...yet it, too, was necessary. He must be prepared. He began to read.

_Deep puncture wound in abdominal region_...that must have been the serious injury she was rushed to medical for..._multiple lacerations and contusions_...what did they do to her? It sounded like some sort of torture...Spock's fingers tightened on the table he was now gripping, but he read on. _Concussion_...that must have been from the rock..._fractured talus_...how had she broken her ankle? _Severe dehydration_...it was very hot on that planet, and she had been there for a full day and a half...but there were no mentions of sexual assault, and at the moment that was all he could be grateful for...

Spock exited the file and folded his hands before him. One thing was very clear...he could not visit Nyota until she had recovered sufficiently.

He knew that she would want him there...but for his sake, and for hers, he could not go. He could not bear to see her in that condition...it would be too painful for him. It was selfish, but...he did not know how he would react to seeing his strong, beautiful Nyota in such a state. It would shatter what remained of his control.

He was terribly saddened by what had happened on the planet, worried for Nyota, angry at the perpetrators of it all...one of which was himself. If he were to see what the result was of his lack of control and the native's cruelty...he would not be able to stop himself from going directly to the transporter room and beaming down to the coordinates from which Nyota had beamed up, to seek revenge for him, and justice for his lover...

It was not logical. But this was not a logical situation. His relationship with Nyota was not entirely logical, either...and so neither would be his desire to avenge what happened to her.

If he saw her, he would not be able to control his anger and hatred. It would be much worse than when he had attacked Kirk. The man who had taken her and anyone who tried to stop him would die...and he knew that afterwards, if he lived, he would be disgusted with himself, and Nyota with him.

No...he could not visit her any time soon. Besides...if he visited her...the logical conclusion would be that someone may see and recognize their relationship for what it was. And later on...they may use their relationship against them. Yes, that was it...it was not logical to visit her, because it was a risk to their future...

_______________________________________________________________

_**The present day...**_

Spock had known Nyota would greatly dislike his decision not to visit her in sickbay...but like he had told Kirk, it had been necessary. It had been necessary for Spock's sanity and control. As much as he wanted revenge, he would have hated himself after getting it.

He did not want Nyota to know just how close he had come to completely losing himself. All that should matter was that he loved her, and that he had been willing to sacrifice everything for her, and had been willing to forfeit his life for her safety.

He had sensed the day before, when he visited Nyota, that she was hurt by his behavior, as Kirk predicted. He knew he would eventually have to explain everything to her. He knew he had much to share with her before she would forgive him fully. But she was not yet ready to hear the truth...not until she was recovered from her experience.

Spock did not have to be on the bridge for another three hours. He had ample time to visit his Nyota. He stood and straightened his shirt, heading for the door.

He still found it difficult to see the cast on her ankle, the cut on her forehead...but he owed it to her. For all she had suffered without him, for all the pain she had endured when he was not with her, he could at least endure that much for her.

**A/N: Well, what do you think? Reviews really make my day...so let me know!**

**Edit: Oh, I should probably clarify that last section...after it says 'present day', that is right after Kirk and Spock's 'conversation'. At that time, he has already visited Nyota once, which was the visit at the end of Silence in the Dark. Sorry about that, I should have made it more clear how much time had elapsed since that section and the last.  
**


	3. Miscommunication

**Chapter 3: Miscommunication**

Spock pressed the buzzer, and waited for Nyota to ask him to come in.

"Who is it?" she called, and he cocked his head slightly to the side. Nyota never asked who it was...he was the only one to ever visit her quarters, as far as he knew...

"It is I." Spock replied.

"Oh- come in." she replied, and he heard her movements in the other room. He could not decipher the emotion in her tone with full certainty...but he thought that it may have been nervousness. Spock felt his shoulders sag a fraction of an inch. She was reluctant to see him...

He entered, and found her limping toward her bed from the bathroom, dressed only in what she called a 'kimono' made of red silk, although he was quite sure that Japanese kimonos were full-length...hers only just barely covered her intimate areas. She often wore it when she had been, for whatever reason, aroused all day and wished to give him what she termed 'easy access'...although he was sure that she now wore it because it was easier to put on, not for the purpose of seduction. He forced himself not to think of the small amount of skin it covered. He highly doubted she was willing to engage in sexual acts at the moment.

"Dr. McCoy stopped by a little bit ago to check up on me...and then the captain came, and Christine and Janice and...well, it seems like everyone on the Enterprise has been stopping by the last two days." Nyota said as she propped her ankle up on a small pillow, her back against the headboard. She looked up at him. "I was afraid it was someone else and I would have to get dressed again, and I only just got comfortable."

Spock did not understand why he was relieved by this...had he really thought, even for a moment, that Nyota may have been waiting for another man, dressed as she was? He felt ashamed...Nyota would not do such a thing. But then again...he had not been there for her when she needed him...

He hesitated before sitting on the bed next to her, his weight on the mattress making her leg rest against his. The fact that she did not move away was encouraging.

"Spock?" she asked. "You haven't said a word. What is it?"

She seemed concerned, and he brushed the illogical thoughts away, and focused on her. Although she was smiling at him, he noticed that the muscles at the corners of her lips seemed more strained than usual...she was forcing herself to smile, he realized. Even while her lips curved, her eyes did not sparkle as they once did when she looked at him.

"It is nothing worthy of your attention." he replied gently. He wondered, briefly, if he should reach out for her...but then he remembered how she had shrank from his touch the day before. It would be best for him to allow her to initiate physical contact, as he was unsure of what she needed at the moment. If only they were bonded...then he would know exactly what she wanted him to do...

But she had said she did not want to bond with him. Not right away...which meant she had doubts. If he knew what they were, he could address them, reassure her.

She was watching him, searching his face, his eyes. He knew she was trying to understand what he was thinking and feeling. He looked away, folding his hands in his lap. They did not say anything for several long moments. During that time, he stared at the cast on her ankle, wondering...how had she escaped? What was the extent of her mental damage? _What_ had happened on that planet?

She had yet to complete her report...and Kirk had told her not to worry about it until it was time for her to return to her station. That was three weeks...three weeks without knowing what had happened to his beloved...and he certainly wasn't going to ask her to tell him. If she wanted him to know, he fully expected that she would tell him on her own without prompting. Besides...perhaps it was best that he did not find out until they were out of the Scorpius system, which would be another week...

"Bones seems to be onto us." Nyota said, breaking the silence. Her words did not ease the tension that had slowly been growing thicker between them. "He keeps dropping hints...trying to get me to admit to something."

"We may have been fairly obvious." Spock replied quietly, still not looking at her.

"He said you led the search party." She seemed to be trying to edge him into saying something, but he was not sure what.

"I did." was all he said. He heard the smallest of sighs escape her, and he finally looked over at her.

"Do you require anything, Nyota?" he asked. "The mess hall is still open."

"I've already had my dinner." Nyota replied with another tight smile. "Janice brought it to me. She and Christine are my unofficial nursemaids. They're taking good care of me."

Spock felt a twinge of pain at this. She knew he would have been her 'nursemaid' for her. He had promised her he would be there for her during her recovery period...he had every intention of keeping that promise.

"Is there anything else you may need?" he pressed. She shook her head.

"Not right now." she said. The silence hung heavily between them, like an ominous black cloud. Spock began to feel strangely uncomfortable...normally, he was much more relaxed around Nyota than anyone else. He sensed that she was waiting for him to say something...but _what_? He began to feel frustrated. He did not have sufficient knowledge of human needs to handle this situation. What did she require beyond his presence? Kirk had said just being there when she needed him was enough...but that did not seem to be true. He was there, but it seemed she needed more. What must he do? Hold her? But that couldn't be it...when he had tried to hold her before, she shied away from him. The only physical contact had been when she rested her head briefly on his shoulder and gave him a very short kiss on the lips.

There must be something he could say to alleviate the rising tension between them. But what was it? He could not find any words that she may find comforting. How do you comfort a woman who has suffered great physical and emotional pain? His mother had never been in such distress...or if she had, he had never witnessed his father's comforting techniques. _That was it_...he must contact his father as soon as he was able. He was unaccustomed to asking his father for advice on his personal life, but he felt that in this situation, it was required. His father had been married to his mother for almost thirty years...it was only logical to assume that he had experience with comforting human females.

He was almost eager enough to contact Sarek to leave Nyota right then and there. But he knew that would upset her even more than she already was.

He looked over at Nyota, to see that she was staring off at the wall, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. He recognized this expression...she was trying to refrain from saying something.

"Nyota?" he asked, his voice barely audible. She looked at him, their eyes meeting.

"Yes, Spock?" she asked. He could hear agitation in her inflections.

"I..." how could he voice his feelings of inadequacy, of guilt? She was his lover, his beloved, his mate...and yet he did not know how to meet her needs. It saddened him greatly. She deserved so much more...he had thought so all along, right from the very beginning of their relationship.

"Well?" her tone softened, and her jaw unclenched...he hadn't even noticed that it _was _clenched. Her eyes also seemed more gentle.

"I...must report to the bridge in two hours and thirty-seven minutes. There is something of great importance I must attend to before that time." As he spoke, he moved to place his feet on the floor. He looked back at her, in time to see her brows draw together, and the corners of her lips turn down. Her jaw clenched again.

"You've only been here ten minutes...and you barely even said anything. Why did you come?" she asked. He heard the incredulity in her voice, her disbelief and confusion.

"I came to ascertain whether or not you required my assistance." Spock replied. "It appears that you do not. I am always available to your needs, Nyota. Do not hesitate to call me."

She nodded her head once, jerkily, and looked away as he stood to walk to the door. As he left, he could not repress the feeling that he had, somehow, made the situation worse...

_____________________________________________________

As soon as she thought he was far enough away that even his Vulcan ears could not hear her, Nyota let out a strangled cry of frustration. She grabbed the pillow that had been cushioning her ankle and threw it at the door, where it bounced off harmlessly and landed on the floor...which only meant that she would have to get up and go get it.

It hurt. It really did. He barely came to see her, and when he did, the visits were brief, and devoid of any sort of emotion- granted, that was just Spock, but he was even less emotional than usual. If she didn't know better, she would think he had undergone Kolinahr while she was on Scorpius Three.

She had spent the entire day working up the courage to tell Spock everything that had happened, everything that had gone through her head during her captivity, _if_ he wanted to know. She had expected him to ask, she had expected him to want to know what had happened to her. She hadn't been ready the last time she saw him, but even _then_ he seemed to show no interest in knowing. He hadn't asked this time either...even when she had tried to bring up the subject of the search party, which she had hoped to bring around to her story...she didn't think she had the courage to bring it up without some sort of prompting.

She was really starting to think he did not care. If he cared, wouldn't he have been with her non-stop the last twenty-four hours since she had been out of sickbay? He had given her an excuse for when she was still in medical...but what was his excuse now? She was also starting to think that he had not told her the whole truth...after all, she was well aware that Vulcans could tell half-truths. But if his reasoning wasn't the risk of being seen, what was it?

Yet, it would have been extremely unusual for Spock not to care. He had very obviously cared when the leader abducted her on the planet...she had never seen him so out of control. So why is it that now she was safe, he had withdrawn from her completely? He _must_ care...so why didn't he show it? What was he _hiding_? He wasn't himself...the Spock she knew and loved would be with her now, not rushing off to complete 'urgent' business.

She sighed, and slid off the bed, swaying slightly as she regained her balance. She limped to the pillow and picked it up, tossing it back onto the bed. She sank back down onto the edge of the mattress, resting her elbows on her thighs.

Her frustration was receding, only to be replaced with sorrow. She had known all along that a relationship with Spock wouldn't be easy...but when they first became a couple, she had been so happy, it was easy to be optimistic about it. Only a month ago, Spock had very nearly abandoned her and Starfleet for a race of people who hardly cared about the half-breed in their midst. She had come so close to losing him then...and again on Scorpius Three. She had known it would be challenging...but had never expected it to be _this_ complicated.

His logic she could deal with...but she didn't think logic was the issue at the moment. There was something else...but she couldn't quite seem to put her finger on what it was...

And his unemotional-ism was tolerable, because when he established empathic links through skin-to-skin contact, she could feel his emotions...she knew how much he loved her.

But there were times...and plenty of those moments were while she was in sickbay...when she wondered if Spock hadn't been right from the beginning...that she was better off with a human. Things with Spock were just so complicated, so stressful...it would be so much easier with a human. A human would have been there for her as soon as she beamed back aboard from the rain forest, and he would have known how to comfort her.

Spock, on the other hand...he hadn't even touched her. As soon as he came in the door, she had desired for him to hold her, to kiss her. Any contact would have soothed her. The day before, she had not been quite ready for it...she had still been upset with his staying away. But today she had craved it. She would admit that when he first announced himself, she had been nervous...but only because she intended to tell him everything that had happened. As soon as she saw him, she felt better.

But when he hadn't said a word, when he didn't meet her gaze or make any attempt at all to show that he cared, she had grown angry.

She had always accepted his decisions, no matter how much they hurt her...that was the promise she had made to him, and she had kept it. But when was he going to meet her half-way? When would he embrace more of his human side to accommodate _her_? It was not fair to her that he seemed to be in complete charge of what happened in their relationship. _He_ made the decisions. And he rarely consulted her before making them. And he couldn't even make an attempt to comfort her when she needed it? Would it really be such an effort, such an _indignity_ to be human for a few short minutes?

She had accepted that until now. She thought back to when he made his half-hearted proposal to her the night before...why had he never asked her to bond with him before that? He had once mentioned making her his lifelong mate, but he had never mentioned it again, never made even the slightest attempt at moving that idea forward. Before, she would have immediately agreed to bonding with him, but now...she couldn't agree to it when she still had so many doubts, so many unanswered questions, and so much hurt still filling her.

Nyota layed back on the bed and squeezed her eyes shut...what was happening to them? Was she giving up? Was she just so tired of not understanding him, and of him not understanding her needs? She had _thought _she understood him...but she didn't. Not really.

She couldn't help but feel that the incident on Scorpius Three had only fleshed out these complications sooner than would have happened otherwise...the miscommunications had always been there, but never to such a serious degree. Perhaps it was even a good thing that this had happened now instead of later...it presented her with the cold, hard facts of their relationship that _needed_ to be addressed. The problem was...the miscommunications would always be there.

Could she give him up when he had been the anchor for her sanity while she was tortured? When all she had thought about was him?

She didn't know...but she supposed that soon she would find out.

_______________________________________________________

"Father." Spock bowed his head respectfully as Sarek appeared on the viewscreen.

"Spock." Sarek replied. His black eyes bore into Spock's chocolate-brown ones- his mother's eyes.

"I have something of importance to discuss with you. I seek your wisdom." Spock said.

"I am willing to listen. What troubles you, my son?"

The last time Sarek had asked that, it had been Amanda they were discussing. This time, it was another human woman of great importance to Spock...

"There has been...an incident. I believe it is partially my doing." Spock replied quietly.

Sarek tilted his head ever so slightly- a habit Spock had picked up from him.

"Unless it was intentional, I cannot find a logical reason for why it would be your fault." Sarek said. "What has happened, Spock?"

Spock told him everything that he knew of what happened...including his lack of control, which he was extremely ashamed to admit...especially to Sarek, he whom he had striven to prove himself to all his life. He finished by telling him of his predicament with Nyota.

"I find myself unable to find a solution." Spock admitted. "I am not knowledgeable about such situations. I am unsure as to what she requires of me."

Sarek had listened in utter silence, watching his son with an unreadable expression. When Spock fell silent, he cocked his head again.

"Has it not occurred to you, Spock, that you should simply ask her?"

"Ask her?" Spock asked, also tilting his head. "I have. She did not require for me to bring her sustenance, or-"

"I do not mean what she needs you to do for her in terms of physical comforts. I was referring to asking her what she requires from you emotionally."

Spock was silent. He rarely spoke of emotions to Nyota...

"I see you have not." Sarek said when Spock did not respond. "Spock...Ms. Uhura is not Vulcan. She has no telepathic abilities. You must communicate with her verbally. And communication is very important, Spock...for human and Vulcan relationships alike. The only difference is that Vulcans can communicate without words. If you bonded with Ms. Uhura, you would have this also...however, you are _not _bonded. Your only option is to revert to human techniques, as I was required to do for your mother before our marriage."

"What if what she requires of me is...too human?" Spock asked.

"Spock, you are half-human. You are not wholly Vulcan, and you never shall be. Even I, in regards to your mother, was forced to do some very human things to make her happy. Kissing, for one thing...this is not a Vulcan activity, yet I believe humans set great store by it. You must do what you must to keep Ms. Uhura contented...which is what she asks of you. You are in a relationship with a human...you cannot use Vulcan methods to deal with it, or with her.

"You must discuss the issues in your relationship with her to resolve them. And when she is in pain, as it seems she is now...you must discuss your emotions with her. An empathic link is not enough in this situation. You must tell her how you feel, and ask what she needs from you as her mate."

Spock could hardly believe what his father was telling him...his father, a full-blooded Vulcan and follower of Surak...was telling him to discuss his emotions and act upon them to comfort Nyota. This was not logical. Well...perhaps, in a way, it was...

"Thank you, Father. You have advised me well." Spock said.

When the connection was terminated, Spock sat in silence with his hands folded before him, his pointer fingers pressed against his lips...

What his father said was true...and yet, at the same time, he was unsure that he should do as suggested. The problem remained that Nyota was not ready to hear the truth. _He_ was not ready for her hear it. Perhaps his father's method could wait three more weeks...surely his and Nyota's issues could wait until then.

**A/N: Sigh. Poor, clueless Spock...who else wants to hit him over the head right now? I do!**


	4. Inertia

**Chapter 4: Inertia**

Spock's shift had ended...it was now late at night- or what was set as night on the starship, anyhow. In space, there was no night and day, but humans needed some semblance of normalcy and insisted on having the ship set to Terran hours.

He knew Nyota would be asleep...yet, he felt a desire to see her. He had not checked on her since the night before, as his duties had prevented him from it. Even though it was no longer comfortable to be with her due to the tension between them, he must see her, to know that she was well.

He realized that he missed her. He wished- although it was illogical to wish- that their situation was as it had been before Scorpius Three. When there had been no injuries, no guilt, no shame...nothing but love and desire.

Spock decided that he would stop by her quarters to see if she was awake. He ached to see her...he could not explain why. Even if she was still angry with him, he wanted to see her.

He thought of his father's advice as he walked toward Nyota's door. He must talk to her, tell her how he felt, ask what she needed..._could_ it wait two more weeks? He wanted to wait because, if the doctor thought she was ready to return to her duties at that time, did that not also mean she would be well enough to discuss it with him? If he waited two more weeks, he could read the incident report and would not have to force Nyota to tell him what had happened...

But what if she _was_ ready to discuss it now? If she was, the question was now...was _he_ ready to hear it?

He was afraid to know what had happened to her. Afraid of the images it may cultivate in his mind if he knew the details. Afraid of another loss of control. Afraid of knowing what had befallen his _ashayam_. Was this the real reason he was reluctant to broach the subject now?

Spock paused, confused. His logic was flawed...it had been flawed for days. It seemed his loss of control had affected him more than he had originally thought. _Was_ there a logical reason for his not visiting her in medical? _Was_ there a logical reason for his not following his father's advice of the week before? He was confused...he had thought he was being logical at the time. But now that he thought back on it, he realized he had not made a single logical decision in many days. His motivations had all been emotional. He had not visited her in sickbay because it would have caused turmoil within him...he did not follow his father's directions because he was afraid. He had masked his true intentions with logic that was mediocre at best.

He was now standing before Nyota's door. Should he go in, or should he go to his own quarters? He must meditate...he had not properly meditated in almost two weeks. Perhaps this was why he could not think clearly, why he was not functioning logically.

He listened for movements within her quarters. He heard her moving around, shifting something...and before he could force himself to leave, he made one last illogical decision, and reached out to press the buzzer.

"Come in." she called, and he entered. She was standing before the closet, organizing her various pairs of boots. She wore a silk camisole and short shorts, which showed off her long, light brown legs. He did not allow himself to look at them as he spoke.

"Do you require anything before I retire to meditate?" he asked. She looked at him over her shoulder.

"No." she replied, her tone flat. She turned back to shut her closet. Spock watched her, wanting nothing more than to comfort her, soothe away her pain. He knew she was hurt by his decisions, his behavior. Now that he realized how illogical he had been acting, he was unsure of how to rectify the situation. Should he follow his father's advice now instead of later? Could he afford to put it off any longer? She had been increasingly upset with him over the last week...

"Nyota..." he said so softly, so tenderly, that she turned to him.

"What is it? Did you come just to be here ten minutes and hardly say anything at all, like every other night of the past week?" she asked sharply. "Or did you have a _logical _reason?"

The biting tone of her voice stung him.

"I wanted to see you." he replied in a low voice. Her features softened minutely.

"I...well..." she trailed off, and turned to the straighten the covers on the bed, even though it was not needed. He wondered if he had disturbed her somehow. "That's...thoughtful of you."

He was not sure he understood what that meant, but she was not angry with him, which he took to be a good sign.

"I was starting to think you didn't even want to see me anymore." Nyota said, her back still turned to him. As she moved, her hair fell over her shoulder, revealing several still-healing bruises and the remnants of lacerations. Spock's eyes closed as he struggled not to think of what had made them. "And that's probably the most truthful thing you've said to me since I got back." she added, standing and moving her hair back over her shoulders, covering the wounds.

"I am...unsure of why my behavior has been so..."

"Peculiar?" Nyota finished, turning back to him, her hands resting on her hips. "Spock, you haven't been yourself. I know something is wrong with you."

"I am merely trying to do what is best for you. But I am...unsure what you need of me."

Nyota looked upon him, her eyes sad. "So that's why you haven't even touched me? Why you haven't even talked about what happened?"

"You did not allow me to touch you." Spock replied. "As for what happened...neither of us are ready for that discussion."

"I didn't let you touch me the first night because I was still angry. You didn't even try again, and it's been a week." Nyota said, anger starting to creep back into her tone. "And I _am_ ready to talk about it!"

"I am not." Spock replied. There was a silence. "And judging by your tone, neither are you, even if you believe you are."

"Don't you tell me what I'm ready for!" Nyota said indignantly. "Spock, I want us to be like we were before, but you're not letting me! Every time I try, you just...brush it off! I was ready to tell you everything on that second night, but you just sat there and didn't say anything! What's worse, you don't have a logical reason for any of it! You have _no idea_ what I went through, how much I wanted you during all of it! I would probably still be down there if I hadn't had you as motivation! If I had known that you would avoid me when I got back, I would have been glad to stay on that planet and let them whip me to death!"

Spock did not visibly flinch- but he did on the inside. He had suspected, of course, that the lacerations were results of a whipping, but part of him had refused to believe it until it was confirmed. The fact that she had, indeed, been whipped filled him with sorrow. But even this did not hurt him as much as her following words...

"I have tried so hard to keep you, Spock. I really have! I've tried to make things work, I've tried to understand you and accept your logic. I've tolerated it all! But...I can't do it any more! You're not willing to work on this relationship, that much has become obvious over the last week and a half. You didn't visit me in sickbay, for some bullshit reason that I know is a lie. Then when we're finally alone you act like you can't bear the sight of me! It's been the same for the last week...you come in, sit next to me for about ten minutes, ask if I need anything, and then you leave again! You're not even _trying_ to help me! And now...when I make one last attempt to make everything right, you say you're _not ready_? You're not the one that was tied up in a hut and beaten with whips and poles, Spock! That was _me_. If anyone has a right to shrink from talking about it, I do! But I'm _not _shrinking from it, because I thought that you, of all people, would want to help me. Instead, _you_ aren't ready to talk about it!"

Angry tears were gathering in her eyes, and she stood with her arms folded over her chest. Spock stood there silently, watching and listening, knowing that everything she said was the truth.

"You couldn't even just _hold _me, and tell me that you loved me, and reassure me that everything's going to be okay. That's all I wanted from you, and it wouldn't have been much of a challenge! I've waited and waited for you all week...not to change or become human, but to understand that sometimes I need reassurance! You were so ready to walk out on me over a month ago, because of duty. And I accepted it, didn't I? I accepted it for _you_. But now, after what's happened, I realize that I just can't do this any more! Our relationship has never been completely happy- there's always something in the way, which can't be resolved because of _logic_ and the binding of your emotions! In the seven months we've been together you have never met me half-way, not once. I thought I could just go along with it...but then I woke up and realized that this isn't a fairy tale. We can't live happily ever after, because with a Vulcan, it's _impossible_! You're always going to put a higher priority on logic than on this relationship...and maybe it's selfish of me, but I can't stand it any more! You almost left me before because of logic...how do I know you won't in the future? No...it's best to just end this now, before we get even deeper and there's no turning back, and we'll both be miserable. I think it would be easier on both of us...just one less complication in our lives. And you won't be required to help me any more. You won't have to act human even for a _second_. I release you from your promise to be here for me...because you probably don't even understand what that means! You haven't been here for me at _all_ during this whole thing."

Spock stared at her, his body rigid, something cold settling around his heart. No...she couldn't be...

"Nyota, I-"

"Just go, okay?" Nyota said, turning from him. "Just save us both the pain. I know you'll get over it- you'll just meditate and use logic, and eventually you'll agree that this is for the best. I...I don't need you to help me any more. I've gone without you for the last week, and it's made me realize I don't need you to get over this. I'm doing just fine on my own."

Spock stared at her back as she stood, folding a blanket with quick, agitated movements. His mind became full of things he should say to make her change her mind. But in the end...he simply turned back toward the door. Her voice stopped him just as he was leaving.

"You know what the funny thing is?" she said, her voice indicating that what was funny, certainly was not humorous. "I think you're more damaged by what happened to me than I am."

He looked at her for a few seconds longer, and then left.

____________________________________________________

Spock closed the door to his quarters and commanded the computer to lock it. Once he heard the faint _click_, he sat on the edge of his bed.

He had never felt so heavy in his life. He had no words for the deep pain that now filled him. He did not cry...the only time he had ever cried was after his mother had died, and Nyota had been the only witness...but he felt like he should be. He was greatly reminded of when he had almost left Starfleet now well over a month ago, when he had thought he would never see her again. But this...this was worse. The difference lay in the fact that it was Nyota who ended the relationship, and it was not because of duty...it was because of him. He had been a fool. He should have listened to his father, he should not have been so adamant that he must wait to take his advice. He had known Nyota was becoming agitated by his behavior. He should have known she would soon reach a breaking point.

Spock closed his eyes. There was a whole list of things he should or should not have done. It was not logical to go through them all...but he deserved the pain each item brought.

She had been truthful in everything she said. Their relationship had always been hampered by him...by his Vulcan ways. They had known all along it would be so. He had been confident that they would work through it together. But what worked in theory, often did not work in practice.

His past mistakes mattered little. It was the recent ones that changed everything. He had not been thinking clearly ever since Nyota's abduction, but this had not occurred to him until it was too late. How had he made himself think he was making logical decisions? Had his loss of control created imbalances in his hormones that impaired his judgment? It was certainly possible...he had read of such things occurring in Vulcans. Perhaps, later, he would visit medical and ask for a full scan...

Even if that was the cause, it did not change the effect. Through his neglect of her own comfort and by focusing on his own...all the while fooling himself into thinking he was looking after her own interests...he had lost her. It was not that he feared she was not ready to talk about what had happened, it had been his own fear of hearing it. Again, that realization had come too late. He had not wanted to leave that room, but her decision was final. He would not try to change her mind if this was what she desired. He had left.

Now, he had not only failed at protecting her from the natives, he had failed to protect her from himself.

_______________________________________________________________

Nyota sank down onto her bed, struggling for breath. A burning pain crept from her lungs to her throat, tears searing her eyes. She did not let them fall.

She had given him a week. A week to redeem himself...but he had not. Every night had been the same...no physical contact, limited conversations, and then he would leave and she would be left alone to ponder why she even bothered with him any more.

She had had a week to think about it. To fret over every little problem they had ever had, related to recent events or not. She had had a week to stew and it had built up, one frustration on top of another. And then she had let it loose all in one go...and not all of it had been about him. A lot of it had to do with what she had endured...she realized, dimly, that it had made her bitter.

If she had thought it would make her feel better, she had been wrong. She felt worse.

She had lied to him...she wasn't doing well on her own at all. Every night she awoke to nightmares full of cracking whips, the sound of a hollow pole against wet skin, and burning ghost pain. She needed him more than ever...and that is why she had to end it. He wasn't there for her. He hadn't tried to be. That hurt more than anything.

Had he thought that visiting her nightly was 'being there' for her? He had said he was unsure of what was needed of him...but surely he wasn't _that_ clueless? They had been together for seven months, and had been friends for almost a year. Surely he knew her better than _that_?

Nyota drew her legs up against her chest and rested her cheek against her knees. Spock had been acting oddly ever since she returned. She wondered if it was related to his loss of control on Scorpius Three. Was this all simply because he was ashamed that she had seen him like that? Or was there something else?

She supposed she would never know now. She hadn't wanted to let him go, but in the end it was only...logical.

Their relationship had become too much to handle for the both of them. It demanded too much of him with his Vulcan disciplines, and it had taxed her emotional endurance to a breaking point. There was only so much frustration one could handle.

She thought back to that hut in the rain forest...to the men who tortured her. The memories were as sharp as ever, and so was the remembrance of her pain. She had called out for Spock, imagined that it was his voice that gave her encouragement as she escaped. That was the only part that seemed to be a long time ago. How could the man she had thought about during her darkest hours abandon her like he had?

She would miss him, she knew...but then again, she had missed him during the last week, and it hadn't killed her. In fact, she felt like they hadn't really been a couple for awhile now. She doubted her future would be any different than her past week had been.

So...if the termination of their relationship was so logical, so _necessary_, why did she feel like she had just made the biggest mistake of her life? Part of her wanted to chase after him, tell him to forget everything she had said...but the larger part of her brain bid her, very firmly, not to allow her resolve to weaken. He had left without a single word. He had not fought her decision. That was proof enough that he had never been willing to fight for their love. If he could allow it to end so easily, so could she.

**A/N: I had some troubles getting this one out, and I'm not sure it turned out satisfactorily, but...I think the next two chapters will flow a little easier for me.**

**I think there's only two chapters left to this story. So it's poll time: Would you prefer that I end this one and start another fic separately, or should I just continue my writing on this story, using different story arcs? Whichever is easiest for you to read...**

**Also...I write this as it comes to me, so there may be certain details and whatnot from my earlier chapters that I've forgotten...so please let me know if I ever contradict myself or forget to tie up a loose end. I do try to listen to my feedback and add explanations for certain decisions I've made in my writing, so please keep that up. Don't be afraid to point stuff out or give me suggestions!**


	5. Severance

**Chapter 5: Severance**

"You look a lot better." Dr. McCoy said with a smile as Nyota walked into sickbay- actually_ walked_, not limped. The pain in her ankle was gone, and she was coming in for her final checkup.

"I feel better." It wasn't a complete lie- she _did _feel better, physically. _Mentally_, however...

"Thank God for modern technology. Can you believe that just a few centuries ago it could take as long as _six weeks_ to get out of that cast?" McCoy asked as she sat on the edge of a biobed. "Imagine that! _Six_ _weeks _instead of only ten days!"

"I look forward to the day when it will only take ten hours." Nyota said as she propped her leg up. "Examine away, Doctor."

McCoy took out his medical tricorder and scanned her ankle, before moving around to scan her back.

"The fracture is completely healed." he commented. "And the lacerations are closed. The bruises have mostly faded. Looks like you're good to go."

"So I can go back to work early?" Nyota asked hopefully. McCoy shook his head slowly and wouldn't meet her eyes as he set the tricorder down.

"No...I don't think so, Uhura." he said apologetically. "I didn't order three weeks off just for your physical recovery. In fact, I may extend the time."

"What do you mean?" she asked suspiciously as he started to cut the cast off her leg.

"If the Chief Medical Officer- that's me- thinks you should undergo therapy, you'll be required to have at least one session with the ship's psychiatrist. If the psychiatrist thinks you require more than that, you can't return to active duty unless you're undergoing regular treatment."

"And _do_ you think I need therapy?" Nyota asked reproachfully.

"Uhura, you went through a traumatic experience. More traumatic than a lot of members of Starfleet have ever encountered or ever will. I want you to have at least that one session." McCoy said gently, resting his hand on her shoulder. She gave him a strained smile. McCoy sometimes seemed almost fatherly to her, even though he was only ten or fifteen years older than her. He would never have admitted it, but he cared.

"I didn't even know the Enterprise _has_ a psychiatrist." Nyota replied.

"He doesn't get a lot of work. Dr. Adams spends most of his days watching holo-vision and pretending to have something important to do." McCoy said bitterly. "_Psychiatry_...I can't believe they consider it a branch of medicine. _That's_ not medicine."

"You don't seem to think too much about Dr. Adams _or_ psychiatry, so why are you insisting on it?" Nyota asked, stretched out her now-bare leg.

"Oh, don't get me wrong....Adams knows what he's doing. He's had fifteen years of experience with trauma patients. And therapy _does_ help most people get over trauma. I just don't think it's medicine when all they do is listen to you talk and give asinine advice."

"Are you sure I have to do it? Really, Bones...I don't think I need therapy. Once I get back to work, I'll be just fine. It'll take my mind off things."

"I'm still recommending your case to Dr. Adams, Uhura." McCoy replied firmly. Nyota sighed and stood, slipping one of the shoes she had brought with her onto her now cast-free foot.

"If you insist..." she said with a shrug. She really didn't think it would help. She didn't need to talk about what had happened to her with a complete stranger. What she _had_ needed was to talk about it with Spock...but _he _didn't want to hear about it. Nyota's jaw clenched as she shoved him out of her thoughts.

"I know you don't want to go to therapy- hell, most people don't. I wouldn't, either." McCoy said. She turned to look at him, arching one of her eyebrows. He smirked. "You know, you remind me of Spock when you do that."

The eyebrow abruptly fell and Nyota's lips pressed together, her jaw clenching and her eyes darkening. McCoy seemed to notice something was wrong.

"Oh, come on...I already know you two are a couple. After Scorpius Three, there's no doubt in my mind."

"Well...that's where you're wrong, Doctor." Nyota replied stonily as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"There's no way I'm wrong!" McCoy said in disbelief, his eyebrows rising high on his forehead. "I saw the way you two fought to get to each other...I saw Spock's determination to get you back...and then you were obviously upset when I said he hadn't visited you! How could there _not _be something going on?"

"You misunderstood me. I said we're _not_ a couple. Not that we never have been. I don't have to worry about getting found out anymore...you're right, there _was_ something going on. That's over now." Nyota picked up the tricorder that she had brought in with her. McCoy hadn't even seen her set it down. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment in the brig."

"The _brig_?" McCoy repeated, his voice rising on the last word. "What the hell are you doing in the brig?"

"The woman who beamed aboard with me." Nyota clarified. "I'm meeting the captain there in a few minutes to discuss what to do with her. Apparently, she absolutely _refused_ to be sent back to Scorpius. _Not_ that I blame her."

"Uhura, you're on sick leave...which means you can't do any sort of Starfleet-related work." McCoy said slowly, as if speaking to a child. Nyota rolled her eyes.

"I _know_ that." she replied in the same tone. "I'm not _working_, exactly. Kirk stopped by yesterday to tell me that he plans on dropping her off at base, like Starfleet Command suggested. I asked him to reconsider, and he agreed to meet with me there today to talk about it. He wants me to record her language, since we didn't get a chance before. Which, I remind you, isn't officially Starfleet business, before you start in on me about that. I'm doing it as an expert xenolinguist, not a Starfleet officer."

"I don't see the difference." McCoy grumbled. "You're supposed to be relaxing in your quarters."

"I doubt relaxing in my quarters is good for my mental health- which you're obviously so concerned about." she smiled as he scowled at her.

She was glad that she had gotten his mind off of Spock. _That _wasn't a subject she would want to talk about with anyone anytime soon. In fact...her sudden interest in the woman who had beamed aboard with her stemmed from the fact that she needed a project to keep her mind off of Spock.

A few weeks before, when she worked daily on the bridge, she would have done anything to have a few days off to relax. But now that she _had_ that time...

Nyota had been growing restless ever since her medical leave began. That was probably part of the reason why she had blown up at Spock...while most of it _was_ justified, a fraction of it had been caused more by her restlessness than by him. That didn't change her decision to end the relationship any...but it made her realize that she needed something to do. After catching up on several communications journals and news articles, watching five holo-vids that she had been meaning to see for months, and thoroughly cleaning her quarters, she had realized that she wasn't cut out for relaxation time.

Over the last three days, she had had far too much time to think about Spock. She had come too close several times to leaving her quarters to seek him out...if she didn't find something to do, she would find herself begging him to forgive her, even if it _should _be the other way around.

She didn't want to admit it...but she even missed his brief, emotionless, ten-minute visits. His complete absence from her life was...unsettling.

"Trust me, Bones." Nyota said as she headed toward the medical bay doors. "I need something to do."

________________________________________________________

"Ah- here she is!" She heard Kirk say as she walked out of the turbolift and down the corridor lined with empty cells. Nyota almost stopped short when she saw who stood beside him.

"Captain Kirk." she said, stopping before him to stand at attention. "And Commander Spock." she added. The fact that he was no longer in her personal life didn't mean that she could get away with not acknowledging him in her professional one. She kept her eyes trained on Kirk, refusing to look at Spock...even though she could almost _feel_ his eyes on her.

"Well, here she is...we still don't even know her name. Miller came down to see her, but...I don't think she likes men, and you're the only female xenolinguist on the ship." Kirk said, gesturing toward the only occupied cell to his left. Nyota peered in through the energy field that prevented the woman from escaping.

She was huddled in the corner, still wearing furs and leaves, her thick black hair escaping from its band to frame her face. Her yellow eyes settled on Nyota, and she jumped up to come closer, speaking rapidly in her language and smiling, sharp teeth glinting.

"That's the most positive reaction I've seen out of her." Kirk observed.

"Why is she still in the brig instead of in her own quarters?" Nyota asked, turning to Kirk with a frown. "She's not a prisoner."

"Well...there was a bit of an incident when we tried to beam her down." Kirk said with a grimace. "She got violent. I'm not sure if it's just the beaming process that she was afraid of...or maybe she just knew that if she stood on the transporter pad she would end up back on the planet. Either way...she wouldn't cooperate and attacked one of the security officers trying to restrain her. She bit him pretty hard...we decided that until we can get her to the base, she should stay in a cell."

"She was probably scared, Captain." Nyota said, her brows drawing together. "Wouldn't you be if a couple of strangers tried to wrestle you onto a platform that makes people disappear and reappear somewhere else?"

"Yeah, well..." Kirk ran a hand through his hair. "This whole thing would be a lot easier if we could _understand_ her."

"That's what I'm here for." Nyota replied firmly. "Captain...you're taking her to the base so scientists and linguists can study her, correct?"

"Correct." Kirk said, nodding.

"Then I request that instead of taking her to the base, you give me the responsibility of leading the study on her language." Nyota said, keeping her eyes on Kirk. She could feel Spock standing there, only a few feet away...she even thought she could feel the heat radiating from his body. She used to call him her own personal furnace...

"Is that even allowed?" Kirk asked, frowning a little and looking to his left, at Spock. Nyota strove not to look at him, even though she wanted to. She felt very uncomfortable...why was he even there? Had Kirk invited him? If he had, he certainly didn't know about their separation...

"Under section 55A of Starfleet regulations, it may be allowed." Spock replied. "As long as the study is recorded and properly documented, the female may be allowed to stay on the Enterprise for observation...temporarily, of course. The amount of time allotted for the study would be chosen by Starfleet, whether or not the study is completed within that time frame."

His voice was so smooth, so deep...it washed over her, calming her nerves. Nyota mentally shook herself. _Damn it!_ she cursed.

"Well, I'm more worried that it might cut into your work time, Lieutenant." Kirk said, turning back to Nyota.

"Captain, I have just been informed by Dr. McCoy that my medical leave _may_ be extended." Nyota said the words bitterly. "I will have time to begin the study before I return to the bridge. Once the groundwork is established, I see no reason why I won't be able to study her during my free time. It won't affect the rest of my work, I assure you."

"Why should I hand this over to you instead?" Kirk asked, smirking, folding his arms over his chest. Nyota knew he didn't mean that he thought she was incapable...he was challenging her to convince him that she could do it.

"Captain, I am fluent in more known languages than anyone you've ever met." Nyota said, straightening, rising to the challenge. "I am the most qualified xenolinguist on this ship. I am also Chief Communications Officer, which gives me the authority to head a linguistics study on this ship. But besides my professional qualifications, I have a few personal ones as well. This woman saved my life. I was the first to come into direct contact with her on Scorpius Three, and it appears that I'm the only person she responds to in any positive way. Also..." she hesitated, unsure if she wanted to say this in front of either Spock or Kirk. "I need closure. I need to understand why what happened..._happened_. She has my answers, Captain, and I want...no, I _deserve_...to be the first human in this universe who knows her language."

Kirk's eyes slid sideways to Spock again. "Well, what do you think, Spock?" he asked quietly. "Do you think I should recommend this to Starfleet?"

Despite her desire to pretend he was not there, Nyota finally looked over at him. She couldn't help it.

She caught him looking at her, his face completely unreadable, but he immediately looked away, to stare at a spot on the wall as he responded. "Captain, I concur with everything Lieutenant Uhura has said. She is, without a doubt, the highest-qualified xenolinguist to undertake this study, possibly in all of Starfleet. Both with her professional and personal qualifications."

"Is that your _unbiased_ opinion, Mr. Spock?" Kirk asked, with a teasing note in his voice. There was a short silence, during which Spock continued to stare at the wall and Nyota looked down at the floor.

"It is, Captain." Spock replied softly. That was when Kirk seemed to finally realize that something was going on that he was unaware of, because he looked at Spock, then Nyota, and then Spock again, his expression calculating.

"Is there something wrong with you two?" he asked. Nyota's eyes darted back to Spock long enough to see his shoulders slowly stiffen.

"Captain, our private affairs are none of your concern." Spock replied. "I would appreciate it if you did not ask personal questions."

Kirk still looked between then, frowning slightly, but he didn't say anything more about it.

"Lieutenant, please commence with the recording." Spock said, still not looking away from the wall. Nyota tried to stop herself from regretting the end of their relationship at that moment...although it was not visibly evident, Spock was in pain. She could almost feel it radiating off of him with his body heat. He had agreed that she was the most-qualified for the study, when he could have easily suggested that the study would be better conducted on base. She didn't care that it was logical...the compliment warmed her immeasurably, and while just moments before she wouldn't have taken him back even if he crawled on his hands and knees and begged her, she began to consider otherwise...

_Damn it damn it damn it!_ She cursed. No...she _couldn't_ take him back! She couldn't even consider it! He had already caused her so much pain...even though she did still love him, she couldn't trust him to be there for her. What kind of relationship would it be if she constantly worried that she would be alone in her pain and torment? What if something happened to her in the future and she had to go through all of this again? No, it wasn't at _all_ acceptable...she pushed these thoughts away and turned her attention back to her tricorder.

"Captain, could you please let down the barrier long enough for me to join her in the cell? I think this would be easier if I was a little closer." Her professional demeanor was snapping back into place, her mind too occupied with her work to wander back to Spock, who she was _sure _was watching her again. His eyes almost seemed to _burn _her.

"Are you sure?" Kirk asked, a little nervous. "Maybe you should take a phaser just in case."

"No, I'll be fine, Captain." Nyota said, and turned toward the cell as Kirk punched in his code. The woman, who had watched their exchange silently, backed away and watched Nyota as she entered and the energy field went back up behind her.

"Hello." Nyota said, raising her hand in the universal sign for greeting. The woman tilted her head in a way that reminded her of Spock...she pushed that thought away as soon as it surfaced.

"Hall-o." the woman repeated, mimicking her gesture. She smiled, her sharp teeth showing white against her dark skin. She then said something in her language. Nyota shook her head slowly to show that she didn't understand. She pressed a hand against her chest.

"Nyota." she said, and then gestured toward the woman, who tilted her head again, puzzled. Nyota repeated the action, gesturing first at herself as she said her name, and then at the woman. Her yellow, inhuman eyes widened in comprehension. She pointed at herself.

"Remaja!" was what it sounded like. Nyota smiled. _Now_ they were getting somewhere.

____________________________________________________________

She was beautiful.

That thought was the only one that filled Spock's head the entire time he was in her presence. The only _coherent _thought. The rest was a jumble of desire, pain, sorrow, and anger at himself. He was unsure why he had accepted Kirk's invitation to accompany him to the brig. He had no reason to be there. Perhaps it was because he knew he would not see her again off the bridge.

He watched silently beside Kirk as she spoke slowly to the woman, prompting her to speak so that the tricorder would catch Remaja's words. She was smiling her first true smile in weeks, her face glowing with contentment as she did what she did best...study a new language. He only wished that _he_ was the cause of that smile, and that glow.

They were in the brig for nearly an hour before Nyota decided that she had enough material to take back to her quarters to listen for the consistencies in the speech pattern. She was smiling broadly as she thanked Kirk for the opportunity. She did not look at him, even once, as she left. He was saddened...but it had been expected.

"So what's going on?" Kirk asked as soon as she was out of earshot. Spock turned to Kirk, eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

"Captain, I have no intentions of insulting you...but it is none of your business, as humans say."

"Spock...I'm your friend, aren't I? Come on...whatever's wrong with you two, I'm sure I could give you some advice that will fix it."

"Your advice would be far too late, and if you had given it to me sooner, I would likely have ignored it as I did my father's." Spock replied, surprised by his own bitterness and the private information regarding his father that he had let slip. He must have been so preoccupied by the situation with Nyota that he was becoming careless.

"It's never too late with human women, trust me." Kirk said, and began to slowly walk down the corridor. Spock matched his stride, hands clasped behind his back.

"I believe I may have damaged my chances beyond repair." Spock confessed. Kirk sighed.

"What did you do? Not visit her like you did when she was in sickbay?" he asked, a tinge of disapproval evident in his tone.

"On the contrary, I visited her every night for one week." Spock replied dryly. "I believe it was my lack of discussing recent events with her that drove her to sever our relationship. I admit that I have not been as much of a comfort to her as I should have been." What was he doing? Why was he telling Kirk all of this? Hadn't he just _said_ it was none of his business? But Spock could not seem to stop himself. "Had I heeded my father's advice upon receiving it, I may have prevented this."

"What was your father's advice?" Kirk asked curiously.

"He advised me to discuss my...._feelings_...with her, and ask what she needed of me as her mate." Spock replied, struggling to keep his anger at himself out of his voice.

"Your father seems to know what he's talking about. That's exactly what I would have advised." Kirk said, impressed.

"My father was married to my mother for many years, Captain. I am sure he had his difficulties with her."

"Then why the hell didn't you listen to him?" Kirk asked incredulously. "Really, Spock- what were you _thinking_?"

"I am not sure, at this time." Spock felt heavy again, like he had three nights before after returning from Nyota's quarters. "I seem to have been under the mistaken impression that it would be logical to wait until the end of Nyota's medical leave to speak to her about what happened. She disagreed."

He did not think Kirk needed to know all of the little details, such as how Spock had not spoken to Nyota about her ordeal because _he _could not handle it, not her. He did not need to tell Kirk that the reason he was afraid to hear it was because he may lose control.

"Listen, Spock..."Kirk said, and stopped right before the turbolift, turning to face Spock. "Uhura was angry when she broke it off. When women are angry, they say all sorts of things that they don't mean. Later on, when they've calmed down, they regret it. So don't give up, okay? Maybe she'll forgive you for being an ass- which is exactly what you've been during this whole thing. I'm saying this as one friend to another- you're an ass. Okay?"

Spock stared at Kirk, one eyebrow slowly rising. Kirk continued.

"If you had come to me sooner, I still would have called you an ass. I _told _you that you needed to be there for her. Which means emotional support. Which means talking to her about it, letting her get it off her chest. Not _refusing_ to discuss it because, in your usual _ass _way, you thought it was _logical _to put it off. When it comes to women, what they want is more important than what you think is logical. If Uhura said she was ready to talk about what happened, you should've talked about it. Really, Spock- it's not that hard."

Kirk pressed the button to call the turbolift. He turned to say one last thing. "Like I said, you can still get her back. You should know how...think real hard about why she broke up with you, and think about how to reverse that. I'm not telling you any more, because it's not my place to fix your mistakes. This is something you have to do on your own. If you want Uhura back- you're gonna have to fight for her by yourself."

Kirk stepped into the turbolift, and Spock followed. They rode in silence up to the senior staff's private quarters, where Spock got off. Kirk continued up to the bridge.

As Spock headed toward his quarters, he thought about his captain's words of 'wisdom'. He was sure that, incredibly, Kirk was right...but how could he reverse his mistakes? They were very serious errors...

For the past three days, he had simply accepted the fact that Nyota was no longer his, even if part of his brain- that primitive Vulcan section- refused to relinquish its claim on her. But now...he felt a tiny spark of illogical hope.

**A/N: Okay, folks, just one more chapter to go! The general consensus seems to be that I should continue with this fic using different story arcs, which I think will be easier anyway, so that's what I'll do. **

**And as for what Kirk said- I know we were all thinking it, so I just knew I had to have someone say it to Spock's face! **


	6. Convergence

**Chapter 6: Convergence**

Nyota was done in the brig for the day...she had spent a lot of time there the last week. She couldn't officially start the study, so she didn't record their sessions beyond that first day, but she was using the time to become familiar with the language.

She knew it was going to be tough. Every other language she had learned had already been translated to Federation Standard, which gave her a guidebook...none of that had prepared her for learning an unknown language. There were experts back on base with specific training in this area, but she didn't want to entrust Remaja to them just yet. She had to try, first.

The good part was that Remaja seemed to quickly grasp Standard. She had already learned a few phrases and words, and didn't forget them. The fact that she could memorize the words easily made Nyota's job much less complicated.

"Goodbye, Nyota." Remaja said cheerfully as Nyota left the cell. The security guard she had brought with her reset the energy barrier.

"Goodbye, Remaja." Nyota replied with a smile. Despite her strange appearance, and despite their inability to communicate, Nyota was quickly growing to like her.

She was getting off the turbolift and heading toward her quarters when Kirk came around a corner.

"Uhura!" he called, and she stopped to wait for him.

"Yes, Captain?" she asked, looking up at him expectantly.

"I just heard back from Starfleet Command." he said, and smiled. "They've approved keeping Remaja on the Enterprise. Congratulations on leading your first linguistics study, Lieutenant."

A smile slowly spread across Nyota's lips. "How long did they give me?"

"Four months. It's not much, but that's the maximum they would allow. And like Spock said, you have to record all sessions and document all findings."

Nyota was so elated that she didn't even feel the pang she usually felt when someone brought up Spock's name. She hadn't been this happy or excited in weeks...possibly even months.

"This is great!" Nyota said, almost bouncing up and down. "I mean- I pretty much figured they would give it to me- but you never know with Starfleet Command! I was a little worried..."

"No need to be." Kirk said with another smile. "You can start whenever you like."

"I'll start tomorrow morning. But first things first- we need to get Remaja some clothes and find her proper lodgings. I don't care if you keep her under house arrest- but she can't stay in the brig for four months. Not only is it unhealthy and cruel, but it would make my job easier to have her somewhere more comfortable." Her voice became authoritative, telling him that despite his superior rank, she expected it to be done. If Kirk had been anyone else, he would have been incensed and reprimanded her for insubordination. But as it _was_ him, he only laughed.

"Yes, Captain." he said. Nyota paused, and then grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry, sir."

"No need to apologize, Lieutenant." he said. "I'm supposed to be reporting to the bridge, but I wanted to stop by to give you the good news."

"Thank you, Jim!" she said with another smile. She was already making plans, drawing up a mental chart of what steps she would take with Remaja, constructing methods of teaching and learning. Four months was not much time, but she was going to make the best of it. Was there really ever a time when she despised Jim Kirk?

"No need to thank me, Uhura." Kirk said, dropping the formal title, like she had. "You should thank Spock."

"Spock?" she asked, confused. "What does Spock have to do with this?"

"Starfleet was an inch away from rejecting your request. They didn't seem to think you had the necessary experience or training to conduct the study. Spock vouched for you."

Nyota blinked, surprised. "Why would he do that?"

"I don't know." Kirk said with a shrug. "I didn't even know about it until Starfleet Command contacted me an hour ago. They said that after reviewing the first officer's statement regarding the case, they had reconsidered. I have no idea what he said. He didn't even tell _me_. Hell, I didn't even tell him about Starfleet's decision, so I don't even know how _he _knew."

Nyota stared at Kirk for almost a full minute. Her mind was whirring again...this time not focusing on her plans for Remaja, but on the idea that Spock- despite the fact that it had nothing to do with him- had made sure that she was given the case. Why was he even _following_ the case? How had he managed to intervene without Kirk knowing about it?

She knew, beyond a doubt, that he had done it because he knew how greatly she desired it, how much she _needed _this.

It was, indirectly, a source of comfort for her. She let the warm feelings wash over her for a few seconds before realizing that Kirk was still standing before her, watching her closely.

"Well...thanks anyway." she said, giving him a distracted smile. "I'd better start planning for the next four months."

Kirk nodded. "Right. Congratulations again."

She watched him walk away, and then entered her quarters, still thinking about Spock. She had managed to distract herself from him when she visited Remaja...but she still thought about him too often for her own good. She had caught glimpses of him in the hallways, but hadn't gotten any closer to him than twenty feet in a week. She didn't think he had even seen her any of those times. That was for the best.

But now...she couldn't just ignore the fact that Spock had helped her. He did not have to vouch for her...it would have been so simple for him to leave it alone, not interfere. It _had_ to have been only for her...he had no other logical reason.

She considered seeking him out to thank him. _Just thank him...nothing more_, she told herself. But could she trust herself to even do that? Could she trust herself around him at all? She didn't even know yet how she would be able to handle working with him on the bridge...she was supposed to return to her duties in four days. Unless, at the counselling session scheduled for the day after next, it was decided by Dr. Adams that she required more time off. While she intensely disliked the idea of extended medical leave- and therapy- at least that would mean she had more time to get her bearings before having to be in close proximity to Spock every day.

Nyota sighed as she pulled off her boots and picked up her data PADD to review the recording of Remaja's language from the week before. She had listened to the same clips every night, and taken notes on certain words or sounds that were repeated- the key to understanding the language was to look for patterns, learn the sounds before learning the words. She wasn't sure that she would be able to get it in just four months...but she _had_ to do it! Once she handed this over to Starfleet, she would lose any chance she had of finding out _why_...

Immersing herself in her work, she was absorbed by the sounds of the strange tongue that was becoming more and more familiar to her. It was late when she finally looked up and realized that she had been working for almost three hours non-stop. She pressed the _pause_ button on the tricorder and set it and her PADD on the nightstand.

After getting ready for bed, she crawled under the blankets and commanded the computer to turn the lights off. She was left in utter darkness, staring up at the indiscernible ceiling.

This was the worst part of every day- laying in the dark waiting for sleep to come, waiting for the nightmares. There had not been a single night in the past two and a half weeks where she hadn't woken up to them, covered in sweat and breathing hard. She dreaded going to sleep.

These were the moments when she knew that, no matter how much she threw herself into her work, no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise, she _wasn't _getting over it. The darkness of her room reminded her of the darkness of the hut. It reminded her of hanging limply by her wrists, blood streaming down her back...

Nyota took a shaky breath and closed her eyes. _Thinking_ about it certainly was not going to make the nightmares go away.

She turned over onto her side and forced her mind to cast about for something, _anything _that would give her peace. Just as she was started to drift off into sleep, she found it...she thought about Spock, his dark human eyes, his warm touch, his lips soft against hers...his deep voice, lulling her to sleep...

____________________________________________________

Today had been Spock's day off. He had spent the day in his quarters, reading scientific articles and researching various subjects of interest. Then he had gone to the gym for a workout. He was now in need of meditation- Nyota had been in his thoughts today more often than she had been during the last week. She was greatly distracting to him, but meditation allowed him some degree of peace.

He walked down the silent, empty corridor in his usual brisk pace until he neared Nyota's door...and as he had every night for the past week, he paused and laid his hand against it, debating...always debating.

Should he request entry? Should he leave, like he had every other night? Should he attempt to explain everything to her? Should he try to get her back?

He wanted it more than anything. But a tiny part of him was afraid...actually _afraid_. He could not even believe he admitted it to himself. He feared that she may reject him again. He feared that she would not even listen. Most of all, he feared that he would have to go the rest of his life without her. But if he did not at least try, he would have to fear something else...living with the fact that he may have had a chance to redeem himself and did not take it.

He had meditated over this situation every night for a week. He had done as Kirk suggested, and thought about each of his wrongs and how he may correct them. He had come up with few solutions. One of them had been to do something completely selfless and unexpected for her...he had taken his chance when he found out that Starfleet was to reject Nyota as the leader of the study she so wished to conduct. He had become indignant when he found out from the Commander of Operations' secretary. Nyota had more right than anyone to have that case. He had politely asked to be put through to the Commander- although he was seething underneath his calm exterior. He had recommended her personally to the Commander, listing all of her qualifications. In the end, the Commander had agreed to overturn the decision.

Spock did, of course, realize that he may have been acting upon favoritism- something he would have thought he would never do. If it were anyone else, he would not have interfered with Starfleet Command's decision. But her qualifications spoke for themselves- _that_ part was not favoritism. There was no logical reason why she should not be able to have her way.

His fingers hovered over the buzzer, so close but not quite touching. He became furious at his inability to make a decision. In any other situation, he made up his mind automatically and followed through without hesitation...but when it came to Nyota...

Deciding that perhaps he was not yet ready for a confrontation, and required more meditation to strengthen his resolve, he began to turn away- and then he heard something from within Nyota's quarters that stopped him cold.

She cried out...no words, only one short cry. He listened closely- his first thought was to wonder if she was alone...

She cried out again, her voice strangled by sobs. His heart began to pound, and he could not breathe. Those were not cries of desire...they were cries of pain, of terror...what he heard next broke him.

"_Spock! K'diwa...I need you...I need your strength..._" the words were not shouted, but moaned just loud enough for him to hear.

Like before when Nyota was in danger, the primitive Vulcan began to surface, instincts kicking in._ Nyota was in danger...she needed him_...he did not know _what_ sort of danger, as it could not possibly be physical- he was now sure that she was alone.

He did not know what he thought was wrong with her, but he knew _something_ was wrong. His mind was a flood of terror, desperation, and determination as he punched his override code into the panel beside her door. He did not care that it was a serious misuse of authority..._his Nyota needed him_. He must go to her. He could not fail her again...

The door slid open, revealing a dark void. He stepped into the room and the door slid shut behind him. It did not matter- he was relying solely on his senses now. He could hear her, her labored breathing and thrashing about on the bed, her moans of fear. He now knew that she was asleep...but that did not matter, she had said she needed him...

"Lights at five-percent." Spock commanded. The lights came on just enough to reveal the form on the bed, shaking uncontrollably, her head tossing back and forth. Without even thinking about it, and without hesitation, he joined her on the bed, pulling her against him. "_Let'thieri, ashayam_." he murmured into her hair. Peace, beloved. "_Ki'sarlah nash-veh._" I have come.

She was still trembling, but he could feel her awakening. She stirred, and looked up at him.

"_Spock_?" she asked, surprised. He repeated what he had said. Her arms tightened around him, and she pressed against him as if she could not get close enough. He felt her body shake as she cried with her face pressed against his chest. "Spock..." she moaned. She was holding him so tightly, as if for dear life.

He stroked her hair, and then her cheeks, sending her waves of calm over the empathic link. He had missed holding her. This is all that was required of him...he was a fool for not realizing it sooner. He felt his control coming back, but it did not stop him from holding her. He closed his eyes and nuzzled his cheek against the top of her head. _His_ Nyota...

She slowly calmed down, no longer shaking and no longer crying. Her breathing was regular, but not the deep, slow breaths that accompanied sleep. Now that they had both calmed, he remembered that he had no right to be here, in her quarters. But she was not asking him to leave, and he would not go until she told him to.

"Spock?" Her voice was uncertain.

"Yes, Nyota?" he asked, fear seizing him. He forgot, for a moment, that they were still connected by the link. She felt his fear.

"I'm not going to make you go." she said softly, and he abruptly severed the link. She sighed, and burrowed her head against his chest again. "This is what I needed from you. I shouldn't have had to tell you."

"I know." Spock replied, allowing his hand to rub her arm soothingly. She did not stop him, so she must have found it agreeable. He wanted to apologize to her, but he could not find words strong enough to convey his regrets. Instead, he leaned down to press his lips against her forehead. "I have not been wise." he whispered.

"Understatement of the century." Nyota said with a weak smile that he only just barely saw in the dim lighting. He ran two fingers down her cheek, coming to rest underneath her chin. He lifted her face toward his.

"Nyota...do I have any chance of ever having you again?" he asked. He saw her smile widen by a fraction of an inch.

"You're still here, aren't you? That means you have a chance. I can't promise anything...I believe in second, or even third chances...but if we're going to give this another shot, we need to have a long talk first to decide if it's the best thing for us to do."

"I am in agreement." Spock said, but he reopened the link enough for her to feel his relief, gratitude, and love.

There was a short silence, during which Spock looked into her eyes. Then he spoke again.

"You dream of what happened to you, Nyota. I believe that if you share your experience with me, it will help you."

"Do you think you're ready to hear it?" Nyota asked with a hint of reproof in her tone.

"No. I am not ready to hear it." Spock replied quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. He felt Nyota stiffen in his arms. "I am ready to _see_ it." he added. "But only if you are willing to show me."

Nyota's body softened again. She looked up into his face curiously. "You mean...a mind meld?"

Spock nodded once. "Precisely. I have consulted my father's advice on how to comfort human women...he suggested that we discuss it verbally. But I believe that a mind meld would, in this case, be quicker and far more effective in relaying our experiences, feelings, and thoughts. This is only if you are willing...it may be a dangerous for you."

"But I thought a mind meld is like a bond? I mean...will we be bonded when we're done?" she asked. He could not discern the emotion in her tone...he was not sure if it was anxious or eager.

"A mind meld can be performed without creating a permanent bond." Spock replied.

"Okay..." Nyota said. She paused for a moment, before saying; "Go ahead."

"You are sure?" He asked, moving his hand up to her temple.

"Very. Meld away." she said, and through the weak link he felt her determination and certainty. She closed her eyes, and he did the same.

"Our minds- one and together." he whispered. At the same time, he initiated the meld. His mind- much more powerful than hers- slipped through the cracks in her her own mind, until they were indistinguishable from one another.

_"Spock?"_ he heard her voice in his head. She was frightened. The force of his mind was much stronger than she had anticipated.

_"It is not too late to withdraw, Nyota." _he thought back. He felt her tension ease away. She was comforted.

_"No...it just takes some getting used to."_ she replied. _"I'm fine now."_

He agreed that it took getting used to...her own mind was alien to his. He waited one more moment for her to become accustomed to his presence, and then he began to gently reach into her memories...one thing he noticed right away was that she thought in a mixture of languages, only some of which he knew.

_"You think in Vulcan." _Nyota replied, almost defensively.

_"That is true."_ he responded._ "I expected you to think primarily in Swahili, a language I am not entirely familiar with. I am surprised to find that the languages you have learned are so ingrained into your subconscious that you think in them, even though they are not your first language. This is unusual."_

He felt her pride and gratitude for what she took as a compliment, but it was merely a statement of fact.

Spock turned his attention back to her memories, and he felt a ripple of dread and fear as he found the memories she wanted to forget.

_"I can alter your memories, if you wish." _Spock replied to this fleeting thought.

_"No. I may dislike it, but I don't want my memory tampered with." _Nyota said firmly. Spock proceeded to view the memory.

Pain. He was shivering as icy water dripped off of him, he heard the hollow pole whistle through the air before it struck him in another stinging blow. A cry came from between his lips...Nyota's lips. The lips he had kissed so many times...

The scene changed...this time it was night, not early morning. He watched as a dark-skinned woman came in to bathe his wounds and give him water. He was full of gratitude, so full of it that he almost cried.

The scene dissolved, replaced by a man coming towards him with a whip. The whip cracked...it hurt worse than the pole, and it drew blood, but he hung there limply, accepting it, giving up...

He was alone again. The blood dripped down his back in rivulets, landing in the dirt at his feet. He heard his thoughts; _"Spock...my k'diwa...I need you...I need your strength..."_ It was the same words Nyota had moaned in her sleep.

He felt determination to escape. He struggled to free his ankles from their bonds- finally succeeding. And then he swung his legs back and forth to hook them around the beam his wrists were tied to...he felt his right ankle hit too hard, the bone fracturing. More pain. It was now everywhere...his head, his back, his ankle, his shoulders...

He was now attempting to strangle who appeared to be the leader of the natives. He was choking, sputtering, gasping for breath, his eyes rolling back into his head...the woman from before stopped him, and he went to the doorway. He saw men armed with crossbows running toward him...the woman, Remaja, held out his communicator and he contacted the Enterprise. But he was not beamed aboard soon enough...he felt a sharp pain in his midsection even as he dematerialized.

What followed were only confused images and impressions...Dr McCoy's voice...Nyota's voice asking about him...a soft bed, more pain...

Then he was looking up into the bright lights of sickbay, Dr. McCoy hovering over him, speaking. He felt bitter disappointment at learning that Spock, that _he_, had not come to visit. More pain...but it was no longer physical. The pain was so intense that he could barely stand it. It filled him, clawed at his insides...

_"Spock. Show me yours." _Nyota's voice penetrated him. He withdrew from her memories, and looked through his own.

He showed her everything. His pain and anguish, his guilt at his loss of control. His fear that he may lose her because of his lapse. His anger, his desire to rip the man who had taken her to pieces. He allowed her to experience that dark, primal Vulcan need to protect his mate. She was _his _and no one else's. He felt her surprise at this revelation, but she was not disgusted, not afraid, as he had thought she would be. He should have known better. She always accepted him, all of him...no matter how bad it was.

_"Of course I do."_ she chided. He sent her another wave of gratitude, of love. She reciprocated, and for a few minutes they simply fed their love to one another.

_"We must continue." _he said gently, ending the exchange. _"What do you wish for us to share now?"_

_"I think we've seen enough of what happened on Scorpius Three." _Nyota said, and Spock silently agreed. They had shown one another all of their thoughts and feelings on that subject. _"I think we should move on to how we felt afterwards."_

They did. Nyota showed him her pain for the way he acted, how it infuriated her and saddened her at the same time. How much she wanted him, _needed_ him. Her growing frustration with his odd behavior that culminated in her ending their relationship in a flow of harsh, but true, words. He felt her flash of disappointment when he did not so much as say a word before obediently leaving.

_"You demanded that I leave. I did what you desired." _Spock said, confused. _"Why would you then regret it?"_

_"It's a human thing. We say things we don't mean when we're upset. I guess that, even though I knew I should end it, I didn't want to. I hoped you would convince me that I didn't need to."_

_"Ah. Yes." _Spock said, and he showed her a snippet of the conversation with Kirk, who had said almost the exact same thing. He felt her amusement.

_"He was right, shockingly, so keep it in mind for the future."_ At this, Spock felt hope growing within him. Did this mean that she was considering taking him back? _"Yes, Spock, that's what it means. But first you need to show me how _you_ felt over the last two and a half weeks."_

He immediately obliged. He allowed her to experience the intense relief he had felt when Kirk told him that she would survive. He showed her his guilt once more, his shame at his recent loss of control, his uncertainty of what was expected of him, which he now knew should have been obvious.

He showed her his conversation with his father. He felt her amusement and consternation that he had not heeded his father's advice.

_"I believe I did tell you that I have been unwise." _Spock said. Her felt her amusement again, and he continued.

Now he flashed forward to when she stood before him, saying so many hurtful but true things. His reluctance to accept it, before she finally told him to leave. He left because he had no other choice. He recalled the strange heaviness and despair that filled him for many days afterward.

Next was Kirk's reprimands. Nyota outright laughed when he called Spock an 'ass' repeatedly. The feel of her laugh was even better than the sound of it.

_"He was right! I'm going to have to hug him for telling you that!" _Nyota exclaimed. Spock sent her disapproval.

_"I would prefer that you refrain from physical contact with other males." _he admonished.

She did not reply to that, but her amusement was still there, flickering pleasantly in his conscience.

He revealed to her how and why he had interfered with Starfleet Command's refusal to grant her request. At this, he sensed surprise and gratitude.

_"You contacted the Chief of Starfleet Operations himself?" _she asked, impressed. _"For _me_?"_

_"For you." _he confirmed.

_"Thank you." _she said.

The last thing he showed to her was his coming to her door, debating whether or not to press the buzzer. His panic as he heard her cry out, call for him. He showed her how his Vulcan- or perhaps it was also blended with human- instincts kicked in, driving him to enter her quarters uninvited to crawl into bed to comfort her.

_"I think I like your Vulcan instincts."_ Nyota commented.

_"As do I, as long as they do not come forward often or when around others."_ Spock replied. _"Nyota, my _ashayam_, I believe I now know what to do if you are ever in need of comfort. I promise that I will not ever again allow logic, false logic, or my Vulcan stricture on emotions cause you pain when I can prevent it. This is a promise that I have every intention of keeping."_

_"I know, my k'diwa." _Nyota replied, and he felt love pouring forth from her.

_"I believe we have accomplished what we set out to accomplish, Nyota. I will withdraw now."_ He began to do so, but he felt a sudden surge of desperation.

_"Wait!" _she said. He stopped._ "You told me that...you can perform a mind meld without bonding us."_

_"We are not bonded." _Spock assured her.

_"I know. While you're here, I want you to bond us."_

Spock could not hold back his surprise. _"You have said that we have much to discuss. We have not yet addressed the issues unrelated to recent events that pertain to our relationship. I would prefer that we do so before we consider bonding."_

_"Those are issues that can be worked on later, Spock." _he felt her impatience. _"And they will be resolved much easier if we have a telepathic bond. Come on, Spock- use logic. If I ever need something that you would not normally understand, you will know through the bond. If I'm ever in trouble, you'll be there for me. Always. No matter what. I _want_ this."_

_"You are sure?" _Spock asked, uncertainly. There was no question that he was sure that _he_ wanted it- he had wanted it for a long time. The only reason he had never asked her before was because he had read, while performing research on human courtship rituals, that humans 'dated' for at least one year before considering marriage.

_"Yes, but you're half-Vulcan. Not all of the rules pertain to you." _Nyota said, interrupting his thoughts. _"And yes, Spock. I'm absolutely sure that this is what I want."_

Spock only hesitated for one second more, before he reached back into her mind and established the bond that would link them until one of them died...

_"Did you do it?" _Nyota asked uncertainly. _"I don't feel any different."_

_"Not yet." _Spock said. He then withdrew from her mind.

He opened his eyes, to see that she was staring back at him, a wide smile curving her lips. But he could still feel her, a warm, welcome presence in the back of his mind.

"I love you, _ashayam_." Spock murmured, brushing a stray bit of hair away from her cheek, tucking it behind her ear. He sent her a wave of pure joy and love through the new link. Nyota gasped.

"That was strong!" she said.

"Emotional transferrence through a bond allows you to feel the full force of the emotions. Skin-to-skin transferrence is much weaker." he explained. He heard her next thoughts as clearly as if she were still engaged in the meld with him. _"I can get used to that"._

_"As can I."_ he thought back. She gave a small laugh.

"Are you always going to be able to hear my thoughts?" she asked aloud.

"Not at all times. The bond is still very new...you have not yet learned how to block me from your thoughts. While pleasant, a bond can be a distraction. Which is why blocks are necessary. I must teach you control."

She nestled closer to him, resting her head in the space between his neck and shoulder. "So...does this mean we're married?"

"Not quite." Spock replied. "What we have is more than a betrothal, less than a marriage."

"Well, how do we make it a full marriage?" she asked, looking up at him, eyes sparkling in a way he had not seen in weeks.

"In most Vulcan marriages." Spock began slowly. "The bonding ceremony is performed while the betrothed are children. When they have matured, they meet in the male's family marriage grounds. If the female has no wish to complete the marriage, she declares _koon-ut-kalifee_. She chooses a champion, and the males fight to the death. The victor wins her. If not contested, the marriage is completed by physical consummation."

"That's it?" Nyota smirked. "Physical consummation?"

"Yes." Spock said, the corners of his lips twitching upwards. Nyota moved up so that she could kiss him, her hands cradling his head, her fingers twining in his hair.

"I want you to be my husband." she murmured as she drew away. "In every way."

Spock reached out to stroke her cheek, and pulled her toward him.

"If that is what you wish." he said as he kissed her. "My _adun'a_."

They came together; fire and heat, love and joy, relief and acceptance; all pain, guilt, shame, and any other negative emotions banished. They were one.

_____________________________________________________________

Nyota groaned happily as she stretched and blinked her eyes open. She felt the strange presence in her mind, and she happily remembered that she was now married. She looked around for her husband.

"Spock?" she asked. He came out of the bathroom, pulling on his blue shirt.

"I must report to the bridge for my shift." he said. Nyota sighed.

"Duty calls. Will I have to listen to your every thought today? It might bore me into a coma." she said. She felt his amusement across the link.

"I shall block you." he said, and as he said it she felt the hum in her mind become much less pronounced. She could no longer feel his emotions and hear his thoughts, but he was still there.

She sat up, pulling the sheets around her naked form. She watched as he pulled on his boots, feeling happier than she had in a long, long time. She was even happier now than she had been the day before, when she learned that she had gotten permission for her study on Remaja. Amazingly, both instances of happiness were caused by the man sitting on the foot of the bed.

He was standing to leave when she rose on her knees and turned him back around to her. She kissed him tenderly, and he opened the link enough for her to feel his love and his own happiness.

"See you tonight." she said with a smile. He did not reply, but she felt his agreement before he pulled away, blocked the link, and left the room. Yes, she could definitely get used to this.

She laid back down on the bed, smiling up at the ceiling. Last night had been the first time that she slept peacefully...after the nightmare that brought Spock to her, anyway. She felt better. She knew she really was getting over Scorpius Three now. The only way to complete that healing was to learn Remaja's language...which she would get started on as soon as she was done basking in her happiness.

Later, she and Spock would have to sit down and discuss the smaller problems in their relationship- such as his habit of making decisions that affected them both without consulting her. But surely it would be easier now that they were bonded...

Her only worry at the moment was that she might, just _might_, have been too hasty in asking for the bond. She didn't regret it...but would she, further along down the line? Had she been wrong to rush into the bonding before they fully discussed it?

She pushed the thoughts away. She wasn't going to let negative thoughts bother her. This was _supposed_ to be a happy time. She and Spock had had so many problems in the past...she wanted to be able to have one worry-free day in which she could allow herself to enjoy their new marriage.

Anything else could wait.

**A/N: **_**Adun'a **_**= wife. I'm sure you know that, but I just want to make sure. **

**Okay, this is the end of this story arc! This chapter seemed to take FOREVER to write...I think I spent about six hours on it. I'm glad it's finally written, but I had fun all the same :)**

**I don't know when I will update again...it could be as soon as tomorrow, or as late as a few weeks from now. It all depends on when inspiration strikes. I'm already getting some ideas, but nothing concrete enough to start writing. I think I seriously need a break, though...I've been writing almost non-stop for a week now. I think my family is starting to wonder if I'm glued to the computer chair. But I definitely will be back!**

**I want to take this time to thank all of my wonderful readers! I can't even begin to say how grateful I am for all of you...I've become totally addicted to review alerts in my mail box! They really do keep me motivated. Even if you haven't reviewed- thanks for sticking with me so far! Just make sure you add Essential to your story alerts so you know when I've come back with more!**


	7. Essentiality

**A/N: There will be a little bit of fluff in this..but then I jump back into angst. And yes, I'm aware I told you I might not update for awhile. I lied. I guess I just can't stop writing. It's an addiction. I also said I would never write a multi-chaptered fic...now look at me!**

**Chapter 7: Essentiality**

Nyota hummed quietly to herself as she scrolled through the PADD in her hand, searching for the next file she intended to show Remaja. She had decided that the best course of action would be to show Remaja pictures of certain things and prompt her to say their names...and then _she _would say the words in Standard until Remaja memorized them. It worked fairly well, and so far they had gone through three files of pictures.

The tricorder lay on the table between them, recording everything that was said. Later, Nyota would transcribe the session into written form and study the words more closely. She had already composed a working alphabet- there were still holes in it, but they were quickly filling up. Nyota was far from achieving her goal, but striving toward it every day.

It had been a whole month to the day since her abduction on Scorpius Three. Dr. Adams had insisted that she take another week off, no matter how much Nyota protested, and no matter the fact that she obviously didn't need it. In fact, she didn't need therapy, either- and even Dr. Adams knew that. She supposed he only insisted on two more sessions with him because he had nothing better to do and was desperate for work.

Ever since bonding with Spock a week and a half before, the nightmares had not returned. In fact, she was so at peace with the world that she hardly thought about Scorpius at all. She was over it- she knew it, and Adams knew it. Maybe the reason the psychiatrist insisted on more sessions was also because he found it hard to believe that she had gotten over it so quickly. She could hardly believe it, either.

However, she didn't really mind having another week off. It had given her all the time she wanted to study the new language. When she returned to the bridge, her time with Remaja would be cut considerably. She must use this time to build the foundation for her future work. But the week was now over- she was returning to the bridge the very next day.

Nyota glanced up at Remaja, who sat across from her at the table. She was staring at the PADD, her head tilted to the side as she watched the screen move under Nyota's fingers. She was fascinated by all of the Enterprise's technology, but especially by the strange devices that stored everything from e-books, to pictures, to music files.

Nyota had had Remaja moved from the brig the day after the assignment was given to her, into the quarters she was now confined to. The rooms were small and barren of any decorations or personal affects, but they contained a bathroom and a bed. An engineer had installed a replicator there as well, so that no one had to bring her meals. She wore Starfleet-issue gray pajamas, since that was all that could be spared for her, and she wore a beaded headband that Nyota had given her, her thick black hair cascading down her back.

Remaja seemed to be making even better progress than Nyota had anticipated. In fact- she was learning Standard much faster than Nyota was learning _her_ language. And it had only been three weeks since they began these exchanges.

"Nyota. Faster." Remaja said impatiently, drumming her long, brown fingers on the table. Nyota smiled.

"Patience." she said. "Wait." She wasn't sure if Remaja understood- and that was the most frustrating part of it all.

She finally found the correct file and brought up a picture of a tree. She turned to Remaja and began their next lesson. They worked for another hour before Nyota felt a slight nudge in her mind...from the link that she was _almost_ able to forget about when she was busy. Spock was asking permission to enter her mind, even though she had told him repeatedly that he didn't need to ask. His consciousness was hovering at the very edges of hers. She gave him permission, and his presence became more pronounced, her head almost buzzing from it. She had not yet fully learned how to operate the bond, and occasionally it was still a little overwhelming, but Spock had been teaching her. It wasn't as easy as she had thought it would be- but she didn't mind having Spock as her teacher. It had its benefits.

_"What is it?" _Nyota thought. His presence was so warm, always so comforting to her. When in the company of others, it was hard for her to keep her composure when he used the bond to speak to her. If she didn't have any reserve, she would probably smile like a lovesick schoolgirl.

_"I am leaving the bridge. Are you finished for the day?" _he asked.

_"Not quite. I'm about to leave Remaja's, but I still have to transcribe." _Nyota replied, keeping her eyes trained on the table-top. Remaja was paying no attention to her, or to how silent she had suddenly become- she had the PADD in her hands, and she was enjoying randomly looking through it. With her intense curiosity, she sometimes reminded Nyota of a child.

_"Have you consumed nutrition since this morning?" _Spock asked.

_"No..." _Nyota bit her lip to keep from smiling. Sometimes Spock reminded her of her mother when he admonished her for not eating. _"I've been busy. I'll grab something from the mess hall later."_

_"You have a tendency to not care for your body when you are immersed in work." _Spock said, and she felt a small wave of disapproval and admonishment._ "You are to return to the bridge tomorrow, and must receive proper nourishment to be prepared. You must not let your linguistics project distract you."_

Nyota did the mental equivalent of an eye-roll, but she was amused.

_"Don't worry, I'll eat soon." _Nyota replied. _"And I'll be in top form when I report to the bridge tomorrow."_

She felt his skepticism, but then he withdrew from her mind- at least, he _mostly_ withdrew. She could always feel him, like a strange tingling. It wasn't unpleasant- just _strange_. She had no words to describe it.

She gathered up the tricorder and managed to wrestle the PADD from Remaja's grip.

"I will see you tomorrow." Nyota said slowly. Remaja tilted her head again- that always reminded her of her _k'diwa_- and then nodded.

"Tomorrow. Goodbye, friend." she replied. Nyota blinked, surprised- she didn't remember ever teaching Remaja the word 'friend'. She wondered if she even knew what the word meant- but it seemed that she did by the way she smiled at her, teeth glinting. Oddly enough, Nyota realized- she _was_ her friend.

"Goodbye, friend." Nyota said, smiling back, and then she left. As she walked toward the turbolift, the thought occurred to her that maybe Remaja was even better at picking up languages than Nyota was herself.

The mystery that was Remaja became more and more compelling by the day. Nyota was anxious for the time when the two of them would be able to sit down and have an actual conversation. Her need to know what had really been happening on Scorpius Three had changed...the need was still there, but now she simply wanted to get to know Remaja. What was her story? Why, and how, had she gotten the scars on her back- scars that Nyota would have had if not for modern medicine? What had her life been like? Did she have a family?

Nyota was so lost in thought that at first, she didn't see Spock standing in front of her door. She stopped before him, noting that he held a tray laden with enough food for two people.

"I _said_ I was going to get something to eat later." Nyota said with a smile.

"I am merely ensuring that you do not neglect your need for sustenance." Spock replied. "If I did not bring it to you, you would have delayed until late at night, as you so often do."

"Just get in here." Nyota said, entering her access code and entering her quarters. Spock followed her, and set the tray down on the small table. "Wasn't it a bit of a risk, carrying that all the way here? Wouldn't it have been suspicious that you're carrying enough food for two people?" Nyota asked teasingly.

"At this time, most of the ship's crew are either on duty or resting in their quarters. The recreation area was nearly empty and my actions were not noted." Spock replied. Nyota sighed as she sat at the table.

"Will we always have to be a secret?" she asked mournfully. Spock tilted his head, pausing in the preparation of his salad.

"Our relationship is not secret...it is discrete." he corrected. Nyota gave a quiet "Ha!" at that. He arched an eyebrow.

"Do you disagree, Nyota?" he asked. Nyota finished chewing before she responded.

"Spock, being 'discrete' is the same as being secretive." Nyota said.

"There is a difference." Spock replied. "Although it is a very subtle one. I am not surprised that you do not see it."

She shot a glare at him, but he continued.

"A secret is something that must be kept at all costs. No one at all must know of it. To my knowledge, two others know about our relationship- my father and Captain Kirk. It is hardly a secret if others besides ourselves know of it. While I do not wish our marriage to be public knowledge, the only thing holding me back from publicly claiming you as mine is the slight possibility that it may hinder our professional relationship. It is much easier for us to work together when no one knows that we are so much more than colleagues. You are aware of the Jennison and O'Hara situation, so I need not say anything further on that subject.

"With this in mind, I reiterate the fact that we are not being secretive- merely discrete. If someone on this ship were to discover our personal relationship, I would not be alarmed by it. Uncomfortable, perhaps, but not alarmed. A secret brings with it great fear that someone will find out. We do not fear being found out. We are breaking no rules. But as a Vulcan- I prefer privacy, which requires discretion."

"You forgot Dr. McCoy." Nyota said when he was finished. He looked up at her.

"Dr. McCoy may have his suspicions, but it was never confirmed to him." Spock replied. Nyota set her fork down.

"Well...I told him." she replied quietly. Spock's eyebrow shot up again.

"When was this?" he asked. She couldn't be sure, but she thought he may have been a little irritated. She attempted to open the link enough to see, but she was still clumsy with it, and if he _was_ irritated he had more than enough time to recover from it before she finally managed to enter his mind. By that time, he radiated only calm and affection for her.

"It was the day of my last checkup." Nyota said. "I was...upset when he mentioned you. He said that he was sure that we were together, and I corrected him. But I did say that we used to be a couple."

"Then he does not know the current state of our affairs." Spock said, his shoulders relaxing somewhat. Nyota wondered why he cared whether or not McCoy knew, if he supposedly didn't care if someone _else _were to find out. "Dr. McCoy witnessed my...loss of control. I am not quite comfortable with him." Spock replied, and she realized that the link was still open and he had heard her thoughts, and she closed it. She _definitely_ needed to get used to this. She went back to eating her dinner, and they were silent for a few minutes.

"You're not uncomfortable with the captain, but he saw your loss of control too." Nyota said after a long debate about whether or not she should bring it up again. Spock nodded slowly.

"Captain Kirk is more accepting of me, Nyota. Whereas Dr. McCoy...I have gotten the impression that he is not fond of Vulcans."

Nyota raised her head, surprised. "Spock- McCoy doesn't dislike you, if that's what you think!" she said. "He just...he's just grumpy. He doesn't like to show the warmer side of him. But trust me, he does like you- he just can't express it. You're alike in that way."

Now both of Spock's eyebrows shot up. Apparently, he disagreed that he and Dr. McCoy had anything in common. She smiled at him.

"Your discomfort about Dr. McCoy is illogical." she said with a teasing lilt in her tone.

"How so?" Spock asked. "Dr. McCoy is quite persistent in making derogatory comments about my green blood, logic, or my pointed ears. Why would he say such things if he does not dislike me? While I do not allow it to affect my working relationship with him, the fact that he is prejudiced prevents me from trusting him outside of our duties."

"Spock!" Nyota said, shocked. "He's not prejudiced! You just don't understand..."

"Then help me to understand." Spock said, his voice slipping slightly out of its usual emotionless timbre, becoming softer, using the tone he only used with her.

"It's...a human thing. A male thing, actually." Nyota said. "Men- even human men- aren't comfortable with showing their emotions to other men. So they cover it up with things like that...negative comments, name-calling. It makes no sense, and it's completely immature, but that's how they express themselves. Coming from anyone else, it could be meant as an insult...but coming from Captain Kirk or Dr. McCoy, it's like...an invitation to friendship."

"You are suggesting that Dr. McCoy's insistence on calling me 'green-blooded hobgoblin' is a common way for human males to express themselves to their friends?" Spock asked.

"Yes, exactly."

"That is supremely illogical."

Nyota stared at him for a moment, and then began to laugh- hard. She clutched her stomach, tears coming to her eyes. Spock watched in mixed confusion and fascination.

"What have I said that is so humorous?" he finally asked. Nyota pushed away from the table and walked around to sit on his lap- he moved his chair back to accommodate her. Once she was settled, her arms around his neck, she kissed him, her lips soft against his.

"I love you." she said, still chuckling. Spock opened the link and sent his love to her. It filled her, warming her all over, her eyes sparkling and her smile radiant. He leaned forward enough to press his lips against her collarbone.

"You are essential to me, Nyota." he replied. She knew he felt her surprise, and he looked up at her. "It is illogical, I know. Yet I also know that when I was not sure we would reunite, I feared living my life without you when I may have had a chance to redeem myself and did not take it. This is how I know that you are essential to my own contentment."

Nyota stared into his eyes, unable to look away. His words meant so much...especially since he had spoken them. He could have easily told her this over the link, but he _chose _to say it verbally. She was not sure how it made a difference- perhaps it was because it was so much more difficult for him to say things he could tell her telepathically. It was illogical to voice his fears, to voice the fact that she was essential to him. She didn't have the words to describe how this made her feel, so she let him feel it instead, and it flowed across the link effortlessly.

"Let us go to bed, my _adun'a_." Spock said, stroking her cheek and resting his forehead against hers. Through the link she felt...arousal. She smiled.

"Yes, my _adun_." she replied, tightening her arms around him.

_______________________________________________________________

Spock was already on the bridge when Nyota arrived to begin her first shift in four weeks. As soon as she stepped off the lift, all eyes on the bridge- including his- turned to her. This was not surprising- very few individuals knew all the details of what had happened to her the month before, and Spock was aware that there were many rumors circulating about it. Thankfully, most of those were false.

Nyota had written a full report on everything that had happened to her, and it was now filed away somewhere in some obscure Starfleet database. That part of her life was over with- and he was determined that nothing like that would ever happen to her again. Ever. Even if he had to forfeit his own life for hers. He would _not _fail her again- he refused to. He would rather suffer a thousand different forms of torture than allow anything to befall her.

He had gotten her back. Luck was illogical, but he believed that he must have much of it. And not only had he somehow managed to get her back- she was now his bond mate. She was his, completely and in every way. Whenever he needed her- and whenever she needed him- they would always be within reach, no matter how far apart they may be physically. He could feel her presence in the back of his mind, so soothing, so gentle, so comforting...

There was, however, one important issue he must still deal with. Nyota did not know...he had made sure she could not see this one worry in his mind, unless he chose to show her. He did not want her to know yet, because he knew she would feel guilty. He must take care of this one thing when his shift was over- his shift would end before hers, giving him plenty of time to take care of it.

Now, he watched as she sat at her station, and everyone else turned back to their own. It was pleasant to work with her again...whenever he wished, he could look over at her. Sometimes she had to bring him a report to sign. When she did, his fingers brushed against hers as she handed him a stylus and as he handed it back- _accidentally_, of course. They exchanged knowing looks whenever they caught each other's eye, and occasionally, Spock sent her a message through their link. Some of which made her skin darken as it flushed, and she would glare at him for distracting her.

Yes, it was going to be very pleasant working with her again.

___________________________________________________________

He was finally dismissed. Spock silently told Nyota that he would come to her quarters again tonight, and then he left the bridge.

He entered his quarters, and sat before his communications console. He commanded the computer to make contact with New Vulcan, and then he gave the specific destination. 1.8 minutes later an image appeared on his screen.

"Father." Spock said, bowing his head.

"Spock. I was not expecting a transmission from you so soon." Sarek replied. "Are you in need of further advisement?"

"No, Father. You were...quite correct in what you told me before." Spock decided that it was unnecessary to tell his father that he had not followed his advice when he should have. "Nyota and I have reconciled."

"It was only logical once you followed my advice." Sarek replied. Spock did not say anything to that. "However- I am sure that you did not contact me to inform me that you and Ms. Uhura are again content."

"No, Father, it would have been illogical to inform you of that which you already knew would occur." Spock replied. "There is something else I must tell you that is related to that subject."

"Proceed." Sarek said. Spock could not, of course, have any idea what Sarek was feeling at the moment- but if he were to hazard a guess, as humans said, he would guess that Sarek was suspicious. He did not blame him. He dreaded what he must tell him next.

"In order to facilitate our reconciliation, I decided it would be beneficial to initiate a mind meld. It would help me to better understand Nyota's ordeal, and would be far more effective than verbally discussing it. It was successful."

Sarek inclined his head, watching Spock, still wary. Mind melds were not uncommon, and there was nothing unethical about it unless it was done against the recipients' will. Spock took a breath before continuing. It was not the mind meld itself that he was concerned with.

"Before I could withdraw from Nyota's mind, she stopped me. She...asked me to bond with her at that time. She did not wish to wait. I was..overcome with both of our emotions at the time. I yielded."

Sarek's eyes widened a fraction of an inch. "Spock." he said, his voice deadly calm, cold. "Am I to understand that you bonded with her?"

"Yes, father. We are bonded." Spock replied. He wanted to look away from Sarek's eyes, but he found it impossible.

"Was it consummated?" His father now asked, his words more clipped than usual. Spock inwardly flinched. His father was angry. He was sure of it. He did not dare protest that the information he asked for was private.

"Yes." Spock replied quietly. Sarek did not say anything, his eyes penetrating Spock's. They did not betray his anger, but Spock knew that it was there. Sarek was furious- more furious than he had ever been.

"Spock. Do you realize what you have done?" Sarek asked calmly.

"Yes, Father." Spock replied. "We...eloped."

"Elopement is a human term." Sarek replied coldly. "What you have done is much worse. If you and Lieutenant Uhura had been willing to wait, I would have given you my permission. You could have come to New Vulcan for the bonding and wedding ceremonies. I would not have objected to the match. You know this?"

"Yes, Father." Spock replied.

"And yet you have initiated a bonding without a ceremony. No Elder to oversee it, to ensure that you did not harm her during the bonding. You could have killed her if you erred, Spock. You know this. And yet you bonded with her? This is illogic beyond illogical. You acted upon your emotions...you may have killed your mate. There has not been such a marriage within the S'chn T'Gai family in its entire existence. Even when I married your mother- a _human_- I observed the proper customs. What you have done is desecration to Vulcan tradition. Without the appropriate ceremonies, your marriage will not be recognized by me."

Spock listened to his father's every word, each one slicing through him more painfully than the last. Yes, he knew exactly what he had done. The only part he regretted was losing his father's approval.

"Spock, I have tolerated your decisions in the past. Your decision to join Starfleet instead of entering the Vulcan Science Academy. Your decision to stay in Starfleet instead of coming to New Vulcan. I have always fully believed that you should choose your own path. But I cannot condone a marriage so hastily made and without the respect due to your Vulcan ancestry. I take this as a personal affront to your Vulcan roots."

Spock inhaled deeply. He was finally able to tear his eyes away from his father's.

"I understand, Father." Spock replied. Sarek allowed his gaze to linger on Spock.

"It is my wish that you had not done this, Spock." he said. The connection was severed.

Spock closed his eyes, fighting back his sorrow. All he had ever wanted was to have his father's approval. It appeared he would never have it.

**A/N: This poor couple can't get a break, can they? **

**I planned on having the 'essential' line in the last chapter, but I didn't add it for whatever reason...but that line explains the title. And I'll reveal a little more in the next chapter about why what Spock did is so bad.  
**


	8. Opposition

**Chapter 8: Opposition**

Spock lay on his back in Nyota's bed, his arms behind his head, eyes closed. Nyota was curled against his side, her head resting on his chest.

"Spock, what is it?" she asked, speaking for the first time in almost half an hour, tracing the thin trail of hair on his midsection that led below the sheets with the tips of her fingers. "You've been really quiet tonight. And you haven't even opened the link."

She was worried about him. He had been distant all evening, even when they had made love.

"I have been quite...distracted." Spock admitted. He placed an arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer.

"Distracted by what?" Nyota asked. She moved so that she was partially laying on top of him, her arms crossed and resting on his abdomen. She rested her chin on her arms and looked into his face as he opened his eyes to look at her.

"I would prefer to tell you at another time. Please, Nyota, allow us to enjoy this peaceful moment." he replied, raising a hand to stroke her hair. She sighed and turned her face away.

"Spock, the last time you said something like that, it caused a whole lot of problems for us." she said. Her post-lovemaking glow was quickly dissipating. She knew something was wrong.

He was silent for a moment, and his fingers stopped threading their way through her hair, instead resting on the nape of her neck.

"You are correct." he murmured. He paused, before continuing. "I contacted my father today to inform him of our bonding."

"And?" Nyota asked, wondering why this would trouble him.

"Perhaps I should show you in a meld." he said, and placed his fingers on her temple. "May I?"

"Go ahead." Nyota said, leaning into his warm touch.

It really wasn't that much different from when Spock entered her mind using their link- only much more powerful. With their link, they could converse or feel one another's emotions, but in a meld _everything_ was accessible.

Spock showed her the conversation between himself and Sarek. When it ended, she was in shock.

"Spock...what exactly was that all about?" she asked when he had withdrawn. "I mean...why was he so angry? And why didn't you tell me about this before?"

"I have much to explain." Spock replied. Nyota rested her cheek against his chest.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere." she said firmly. "So tell me."

Spock closed his eyes, and one of his hands began to slowly stroke her back. She relaxed against him, and then he began to speak, his chest vibrating as his voice washed over her in calm waves.

"I explained Vulcan bonding and marriage rituals to you on the night we bonded." he began. Nyota nodded against him, even though it had not been a question. "But I did not explain the importance placed on them.

"Vulcan mates are chosen by the heads of the families. My father is the head of the S'chn T'Gai house. It was his responsibility to find my mate, which he did when I was seven years old- I was officially bonded to T'Pring, as I told you when we first began our relationship 7.8 months ago. The bonding ceremony, while unnecessary, is the Vulcan way of declaring the family's sanction for the match and an elder must be present for it to prevent any mishaps. No marriage is to be made without the head of house's permission.

Nyota tried to speak, but she felt a finger press against her lips.

"I am not finished, _ashayam_." he said gently. He pulled his finger away and she sighed, pressing her cheek against him harder to urge him on. "The marriage ceremony is equally important to the family. It represents their continued support for the match- as there is usually several years in between the bonding and marriage ceremonies. It also affords the female their only chance to declare _koon-ut-kalifee_. But my father's main reasons for his disapproval are none of these.

"The Vulcan marriage customs date back thousands of years, to when Vulcans were beings of passion. They have been a part of our culture for so long that even once converted to the ways of Surak, the rituals were kept. Every family- even the poor families, and the few Vulcans of passion- still observe the ancient marriage rites, even after the destruction of Vulcan. It is expected of every Vulcan couple to undergo the ceremonies. To not do so is considered a severe offense against our ancestry, indicative of disregard for our ancient culture. Very, very few Vulcans have ever bonded without the proper ceremony. And none of those were members of my lineage.

"What we have done is, as I stated in my conversation with my father, an elopement. Yet my father is also correct- it is much worse than an elopement. For humans, an elopement may be looked down upon, but for Vulcans...it is one of the very worst things you can do to shame your family. A bonding without familial consent and proper overseeing by a respected elder indicates that it was not logical. If it were logical, the family would have consented to it. Which means that the Vulcans in question acted upon passion.

"To summarize...my father is angry about several things. We did not seek his permission before bonding- which is required in Vulcan marriages. We did not observe Vulcan traditions when we bonded. The bonding itself may have been dangerous for you- I risked your health by not having an elder present. I have acted illogically. I have shamed my family- and so my father will not acknowledge our marriage."

He fell silent. Nyota turned her head to press a kiss against his stomach.

"But we _are_ still considered married, right?" she asked, afraid of the answer. Spock stopped stroking her back, and cupped her cheek with his hand.

"We are." he replied quietly. "Nothing can change that. But my father will never acknowledge you as a member of his family."

"All of this just because we didn't go through a few stupid ceremonies?" Nyota asked. "What difference does it make? The result would have been the same no matter what we did. We would still have been bonded."

"That is true, but Vulcans are very proud of their culture. Nothing is worse than failing to observe an ancient Vulcan custom." His tone was somewhat dry and sarcastic.

"This still makes no sense." Nyota said, propping her chin on her arm again. "And..." her voice faltered. "It's my fault. I insisted that we bond right then and there without even discussing it further."

"This is why I did not tell you before I spoke to my father." Spock said, and she thought she detected censure in his tone. "I did not wish for you to blame yourself. Nyota, you were unaware of the strict views on Vulcan marriages. It is entirely my fault for acting upon my emotions without considering the consequences."

"Well, you wouldn't have bonded with me if I hadn't suggested it!" Nyota said, frustrated by the fact that he was trying to place all of the blame upon himself.

"I do not regret it, my _adun'a_." Spock said, pulling her up along his body so that he could kiss her. "My only regret is that my father..." he trailed off, but he did not need to continue. Nyota had felt the sorrow in the meld. She knew he hadn't opened the link that night because he didn't want her to have to feel it, too.

"I don't want to be the cause of a rift between you." Nyota said quietly. "Is there anything we can do to fix this?"

"I do not know." Spock replied. "I believe the damage has already been inflicted."

"Spock, I know you've wanted your father's approval all your life." Nyota said, and she felt tears stinging her eyes. She blinked them away. She hated to cry in front of him, and she had done it too much lately. "I've ruined that."

"He may learn to forgive me over time." Spock said, but she knew he was just as sure as she was that that wouldn't happen.

"I'm sorry." Nyota said, tightening her hold on him.

"You will never have anything to be sorry for, my Nyota." Spock said, both of his hands now stroking her back soothingly.

Nyota rested her head against him. She felt sadness settling all over her, seeping into her heart and chilling her. The last week and a half had been indescribably happy. But now reality was beginning to sink in once more. For every action, there was always an equal and opposite reaction. It was one of the basic laws of physics, but it applied to pretty much every situation in life.

"It does seem that we are always facing some sort of opposition." Spock said, and she realized that the link was open again. He had heard her thoughts.

"We never get a break, do we? If it's not one thing, it's another. Every time we're happy, something ruins it. Why can't the universe just leave us the hell alone? " Nyota said.

"Is it not worth the fight, Nyota?" Spock asked, and she met his eyes.

"Of course it is." she replied. "That's why we have to keep fighting. And we're going to fight _together_."

____________________________________________________

Nyota stared down at her tray, moving the lasagna around with her fork, her mind in a completely different place.

It _was_ her fault. She had been so overcome with Spock being in her head and feeling all the love he held for her, that she couldn't stop herself from insisting on the bond. And now Sarek was furious. _Why_ couldn't she have been more patient?

What she had said the night before was true. It seemed that she and Spock were always facing some sort of invisible adversary in their relationship. When they had first kissed, the adversary had been their professional relationship, and Spock's insecurity about 'meeting her emotional needs' (which, by the way, he had been partly right about). Then it had been his duty to his people that tore them apart. Recently, it had been miscommunication between the two of them, and their own pain that held them back. Now...it was the fact that they had both been impatient and caught up in the moment.

_There has to be a way to fix it_, she thought. She just wasn't sure how. She _couldn't_ be the cause of more sorrow between father and son. There had been enough of that for the both of them.

Nyota was startled out of her reverie by someone sitting down on her left. She looked up, and saw Kirk.

"Is there something you need, Captain?" Nyota asked, before taking a sip from her glass of water.

"No. I'm just sitting here to eat." Kirk said, and Nyota saw that he had a tray in front of him, full of several different dishes. She wrinkled up her nose in disgust. It always amazed her how much Jim Kirk could eat in one sitting.

Nyota looked up towards the entrance just as Spock entered the recreation area. His eyes immediately fell on her, and she gave him a small smile, opening up the link so that she could feel him. She was surprised when he made his way over to them, and sat on her other side.

"Spock?" Kirk said cautiously, his eyes darting between the two of them. Nyota repressed a smile as she lifted the salad from her tray and slid it toward Spock.

_"Nyota, I am quite capable of getting my own food." _Spock told her across the link, eying the salad.

_"You haven't eaten since breakfast." _she said teasingly, reminding him of his words from two days before. _"And you need nourishment. Besides- that's not replicated lettuce. It's the very last of the fresh produce we picked up from that class M planet a few days ago."_

Kirk watched in astonishment as Spock began to eat the salad without a word. Nyota looked back at him.

"What, Captain?" she asked innocently. He was still looking between her and Spock.

"When did you two...?" he trailed off.

"One week and six days ago, Captain." Spock replied.

"Shows how observant you are." Nyota said, picking up her fork again. Then she looked over at Spock, who met her gaze.

_"Why are you sitting beside me, Spock? Isn't that a bit suspicious?" _she asked.

_"Nyota, we are not entirely alone."_ he replied. She felt slightly disappointed...she had hoped for a moment that he might have changed his mind about keeping them secret.

_"Discrete, Nyota." _he corrected, but his voice in her head was soft, and accompanied by a stream of comfort.

"Why are you two staring at each other like that?" Kirk asked, obviously uncomfortable. He then mumbled something under his breath that Nyota couldn't hear.

"Why do we need to 'get a room', Captain?" Spock asked, confused. Kirk rolled his eyes.

"Never mind, Spock." he said, then he grew serious. "Listen...if you two ever decide to get married...I can perform ceremonies, you know."

At the mention of ceremonies, Spock and Nyota exchanged glances. The guilt within Nyota became stronger.

_"I have told you not to blame yourself." _Spock said gently. He sent another wave of comfort, and it was like a caress to her troubled mind. She felt herself calm down, the guilt burying itself once more.

"There will be no need, Captain." Spock said out loud, turning his attention back to his salad. "We are already bonded."

"Bonded? Doesn't that mean you're connected by your minds?" It was not Kirk who spoke- it was Dr. McCoy, who had just sat across from them. Nyota saw Spock tense up, and felt his immediate discomfort across the open link.

"Yes, that is what it means." Spock replied.

"Last I knew, you two were split up." McCoy said, getting started on his lunch.

"You're behind the times, Bones." Kirk said. "Apparently they're back together.

"Well...I'm not sure why she would prefer a computer over a real man." McCoy said with a shrug. "But...whatever floats her boat."

This was the first time McCoy had ever made one of his comments while she was linked with Spock. She felt his anger and hurt at the comment. _"I am not a computer. Computers do not have emotions or souls." _she heard him think. It was not directed at her, but she heard it nonetheless.

_"I know better than that, Spock." _Nyota said, and now _she _was the one sending _him _comfort and affection across the link.

Dr. McCoy was now looking at Nyota. "How's your assignment going?"

"It's going just fine." Nyota said. "I'm still not sure that four months will be enough time, but I'll have to make do."

They discussed Remaja for the remainder of the meal- or at least, Kirk, McCoy, and Nyota discussed it. Spock was strangely quiet. Then Kirk had to go on bridge duty and McCoy reported back to medical.

__________________________________________________________

"Are you okay?" Nyota asked when they arrived at Spock's quarters. She did not come here often- they usually met up in her quarters. Spock did not immediately reply, and instead placed his hands on her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"I am well." he replied, resting his forehead against hers and closing his eyes. The link was still open.

"Spock..." Nyota hesitated, and he opened his eyes. "I was thinking...maybe we should take the captain up on his offer?"

"Are you referring to his offer to perform the marriage ceremony?" Spock asked, and she felt his incredulity.

"Yes." she replied, snaking her arms around his waist, pressing herself against him as she rested her cheek against his chest.

"That would not be logical. We are already married." Spock replied, pulling away to look at her again. "Why would you suggest a second marriage?"

"Well..." Nyota bit her lip. "I'm Terran. I want a Terran wedding ceremony. We already messed up by not having a proper Vulcan wedding...so why not have a proper Terran one?"

"Terran weddings are nothing more than signing a marriage certificate." Spock said, and she felt his disbelief washing over her. "They are meaningless. Bonding is much more meaningful. We are more married than any human couple could ever be."

"It's not meaningless!" Nyota said indignantly, now completely pulling away from him. "Don't insult my culture! My family has had those 'meaningless' Terran ceremonies for hundreds of years!"

"And my family has had their marriage traditions for thousands of years." Spock replied coolly. The link abruptly ended, and she knew he was again experiencing frustration, sorrow, and anger because of the situation with his father. "Yet we did not observe the customs of my people."

"So that means we can't observe mine?" Nyota asked angrily, crossing her arms over her chest. Spock turned away, and began to organize the data chips on his desk. Nyota's jaw clenched.

"Don't turn away from me, Spock!" she said. "You always do that when we have issues. That's the biggest reason why we almost didn't get back together! When you're hurting, you clam up. When are you going to let me help you?"

"I do not require help, Nyota." Spock said, turning back to her and also folding his arms over his chest. "The issue between my father and myself is entirely personal. While our bonding is the cause of it, it still does not concern you."

Nyota stared at him, eyes flashing. "Doesn't concern me?" she repeated icily. "But it _does_, Spock!"

"Nyota, you are not acquainted with my father. This does not directly affect you." Spock said. He reached out to touch her, but she drew away- just as she had done the first time he tried to touch her after the Scorpius incident. He slowly lowered his hand.

"You're hurting because he disapproves. It concerns me when you're hurt, Spock. I don't like to see you in pain- just as you don't like seeing _me _in pain." Nyota said.

"Nyota, can we please not discuss this now. I would prefer our time in the evenings to not be tempered with negative emotions." Spock said. This did not diminish the anger now welling up within her.

"There you go again, trying to postpone our issues! Spock..." Nyota shook her head. "We're bonded now. You can't postpone things. I really think you should try to talk to Sarek again."

"That will hardly improve anything, Nyota." Spock replied. Nyota glared at him.

"You're not even _trying _to improve anything. You're just pitying yourself."

Spock's eyebrows shot up. "Nyota, I am not-"

"And you never listen to my advice!" Nyota said, interrupting him. "We were supposed to sit down and discuss the smaller problems in our relationship, but we haven't yet. We've been too afraid of spoiling our happiness to have that discussion. Well, guess what- our happiness was spoiled for us! So it's time to have that discussion we've been meaning to have for two weeks. First things first- your penchant for pitying yourself instead of doing something to change the situation! Tell me- when you stopped outside my quarters every night during our separation and debated about whether or not to enter- were you ever going to actually _decide _on it? If you hadn't heard me having that nightmare, would you have _ever _tried to get me back?"

"I do not know." Spock replied, somewhat stiffly. "What matters is that I did, and we are here now."

Nyota took a deep breath, _trying_ to calm herself. "That's not the point. My point is that if you hadn't had your mind made up for you by those ancient Vulcan instincts you're so ashamed of, you would be alone in these quarters right now, and I would be alone in mine. Because you wallow in self-pity and don't do anything to change it."

"Nyota, you are acting illogically. When you have calmed down, we will discuss the issues you mentioned. You are correct that we have postponed the discussion too long."

"I'm not going to calm down anytime soon!" Nyota snapped. She wasn't even sure why she was mad. Perhaps it was just her frustration from Spock's unwillingness to have a Terran wedding with her. Could something so small really be the cause of the anger within her? "Maybe I'd better just go." she muttered, turning toward the door. "I think I need to be by myself tonight."

She left his quarters, fuming as she walked down the corridors to her own rooms. She really _wasn't_ sure why she was angry. Maybe it was just the fact that the problems in their relationship that had seemed so small two weeks ago, now felt so huge. Spock's habit of shrinking from their problems. Spock's determination to protect her from his own pain. He was back to his old habits.

She loved him- and she knew she wouldn't stay angry long. But she was frustrated and didn't want to take it out on him any longer. He didn't deserve it. A night alone should be enough for her to cool down. Then she would see him tomorrow and they would be able to sit down and have that long-overdue talk.

She suddenly realized something as she entered her quarters- this was their first argument as a married couple.

The honeymoon was definitely over.

___________________________________________________

Nyota had only been in her quarters thirty minutes when her door chimed. She had just stepped out of the shower, so she wrapped a towel around her.

"Who is it?" she asked. She felt a gentle nudge in her mind, and she sighed. "Come in, Spock."

She hadn't expected him to come after her- especially not so soon. It seemed he was learning.

He came in, and stood there before her.

"Nyota, it was not my intention to anger you." he said. It wasn't an apology, but it was close enough to one. Nyota felt her anger and frustration leave her, and she smiled.

"I'm sorry. I think I'm just upset over everything, too. I'm handling it all wrong."

"You are correct that we must discuss our issues. Shall we do so now?" Spock asked. Nyota shook her head slowly.

"We can discuss it tomorrow. Just come here." she said. He came towards her, and she wrapped her arms around him. "I know you're sad because of your father. I think we should both talk to him. Together. We should see whether or not there's something we can do to make everything right. I said we have to fight together- and I meant it. We have to fight to get over this hurdle, too."

He opened the bond, and flooded her with admiration and love. She smiled against his neck.

"I love you, too." she said, and drew away. "And there's a custom married humans have for whenever they have a fight."

"What is it?" Spock asked. She tilted her head and rose an eyebrow suggestively. She moved one hand to loosen the towel- it dropped to the floor.

An hour later, when they lay together on the bed- Nyota decided that fighting was worth it, just for the make-up sex.

**A/N: I'm not sure that I like how this one turned out. I had a lot of problems writing this chapter. I have some things planned for future chapters, but I got some minor writer's block with this one. So let me know what you think- all honesty is greatly appreciated. Don't be afraid of hurting my feelings.**

**Oh- and I hope I made it a little more clear about why Sarek is upset. If not, I apologize. **


	9. Reparations

**A/N: Yay, the writer's block is gone! *Does a little dance* Now for the chapter...**

**Chapter 9: Reparations**

Nyota set a steaming cup of tea in front of Spock and sat in the chair across from him, her own cup cradled in her hands. They were silent for a moment, sipping their hot beverages, not looking at one another. Spock was compiling a list of his own grievances as she stared at the table-top, presumably doing the same. He had not used the link since they had awoken that morning and moved to his quarters to have tea.

"Okay." Nyota finally said, setting her cup down. "I'm ready to talk when you are."

"I am prepared." Spock replied. They had agreed to not speak until ready to begin the discussion about their relationship. Spock did not particularly desire to speak about it, but he also knew that it was necessary for their contentment. He had suggested a meld instead- but she had insisted that it would be better to speak about it out loud. "That way we won't get caught up in negative emotions," she had explained that morning. As he did not have any negative emotions about the matter, he assumed that meant that _she_ did. This pained him. Perhaps that _did _mean he had negative emotions about it, then?

"Who's going first?" she asked. Spock inclined his head.

"I would prefer that you do so." he replied. She nodded, and settled back in her chair, her eyes trained on his face. He leaned forward, resting his arms on the table, staring back at her, his eyes not leaving hers as she began to speak.

"First of all...I really am sorry for attacking you the way I did last night. It wasn't right for me to do that." she paused, inhaling and exhaling deeply before continuing. "But I meant what I said about you clamming up when you're hurt. You have a habit of drawing away from me, of not wanting help or even wanting to talk about it. I understand it's not easy for you, because you've never been taught how to deal with your emotions. Vulcans are taught to repress emotions- not how to _deal_ with them. The fact that you're half human means that you should have been taught that, because I know from the melds we've done that it's harder for you to control your emotions than it is for other Vulcans.

"But- like I also said last night- I really don't like seeing you hurt. And _my _way of dealing with pain is to talk about it. So maybe I handled it wrong, but that doesn't change the fact that I want to help you. Please don't hide your pain from me, Spock. I can handle it- I _want_ to handle it. It helped me immensely when I showed you my pain from what happened on Scorpius Three...if sharing could get me through _that_, then sharing can get you through your pain from what's going on between you and your father.

"So...I think the problem in this area is both of us. I can't expect you to open up easily...it's just not your way. I thought I understood that before, but I guess I sometimes forget and need reminding. You're not human...I can't handle you like a human."

Spock tilted his head, recognizing his father's advice to him nearly five weeks ago. He could tell by her small smile that this had been intentional. She continued.

"What do you think about that? I mean...what's it like from your end when I push you too hard, like I did last night?"

Spock folded his hands in front of him. "I still believe that this would be much easier in a mind meld, Nyota. It will take less time and will fully convey our thoughts on this topic."

"Spock, please just humor me." Nyota said with a sigh. "You may be right, but I think it's best for us to do this verbally."

He did not see the logic in this. She knew it was difficult for him to speak about emotions...even the rare 'I love you' took much effort.

"I find that it is indicative of disrespect for the ways of Surak." Spock replied. "You often make it known that you dislike my lack of outward emotionalism, even while you claim that it does not bother you. You expect me to act as a human, and I find that foolish. As you have pointed out, I am _not_ human. I do not intend to hurt you by saying these things, but I am merely speaking the truth. There have been times when you have spoken disrespectfully of my culture. Your propensity for 'pushing' me shows that you do not fully understand our ways. Distancing myself from you is my way of coping, and by allowing me to withdraw, you _are _helping me. You do not need to insert yourself into every aspect of my life."

He had not expected to tell her this much. He saw her draw in a deep breath, biting her lip, but she did not appear angry.

"Okay." she said slowly. "You're right. I do tend to..._interfere_ a bit more than I should. But that's because I care about you."

"I am aware of that, Nyota. But when I say I do not require your help, I speak the truth. I would appreciate it if you would allow me to cope with pain in my own way. If it does not work, I will resort to your method of sharing it."

"That sounds fair enough." Nyota said, nodding slowly. "So for now on...when you're hurting about something, I'll leave you alone unless you specify otherwise. I will wait for you to come to me. If I start to push too hard, just remind me of this conversation, okay?"

"That seems agreeable." Spock replied.

"And...I don't mean to be disrespectful to your culture." Nyota said. "It's just that certain aspects of it- like the wedding ceremonies- seem so _unnecessary_. I'm sure Terran culture seems like that to you, too- judging what you said about the _Terran_ wedding ceremonies."

"As we come from two entirely different worlds, it is inevitable that we have opposing views on cultural differences." Spock replied. "What may seem perfectly logical to one of us, may seem illogical to the other."

"Right." Nyota said, nodding again. "We'll have to meet each other half-way on that one."

There was a silence, during which Nyota looked down at her hands and Spock looked at her. He knew that although she did not show it, she was hurt by something he had said. Precisely what he had _not_ wanted. He would make it up to her later- perhaps with kisses, or gentle caresses to her cheek. She seemed to find such actions comforting.

"What shall we discuss now?" he asked gently. Perhaps a softer tone would be enough to ease her pain. Such things did not work on him- but Nyota was human. She was susceptible to such small shows of affection, which was why he allowed himself to indulge in them. It was only logical to please his mate.

"I think we should-" Nyota was interrupted by the chiming of Spock's communications console. They met each other's gaze. "Are you expecting any calls?" she asked.

"I am not." Spock replied. "Computer, state address of incoming call."

"Call incoming from New Vulcan, Ambassador Sarek." the computer's cool voice replied. Spock's eyes did not leave Nyota's.

"Will you stay with me while I take the call?" he asked. She nodded.

"I _did_ say we would talk to him together." she said with a small, sad smile.

He sat before the console, and she sat beside him. "Accept call." Spock said, and there was a moment's delay before Sarek's image appeared on the screen.

"Spock." Sarek said. He inclined his head. "And Ms. Uhura. We have not had the opportunity to formally meet."

"Ambassador Sarek." Nyota replied, also inclining her head.

"Father." Spock said. "I did not expect a call from you after our last discussion ended so unfavorably."

"I have meditated on a solution to our current problem." Sarek replied- he, like Spock and all other Vulcans, did not 'beat around the bush' as Nyota was fond of saying.

Spock fought hard to suppress the raising of an eyebrow. The fact that his father had been the first to reestablish contact was, in itself, unusual. Not only that, but he seemed much calmer than he had before. He had apparently come to terms with Spock's marriage to Nyota.

"We are listening." Spock replied when Sarek did not immediately continue.

"I have also consulted an elder on this subject. It has been found that there are two solutions to this. You could dissolve the bond and then recreate it following the proper customs- but that is twice as dangerous as what you have already done, and therefore unwise.

"Or- you could come to New Vulcan and an elder will perform the proper ceremonies despite the fact that you are already bonded. This is the preferable route of correction, although it is still not quite legitimate. It has never been conducted in such a way before, and if it were not for T'Pau's willingness to assist us, I doubt we would have found an elder that would perform it. While this will not entirely repair what you have done, it will give me enough peace to accept Ms. Uhura into the S'chn T'Gai house and will excuse you from your sacrilege."

A silence followed. Sarek's eyes were on Spock, and both him and Nyota stared at Sarek.

"That is quite logical, Father." Spock finally said. "And the solution is much simpler than I would have thought possible."

"What's the catch?" Nyota spoke up, looking at Sarek suspiciously.

"By 'catch' I suppose you mean what I have not mentioned, but will require from the two of you." Sarek replied. Spock tilted his head slightly, dread beginning to build within him. "You will be required to stay on New Vulcan for at least two weeks."

"Two weeks!" Nyota repeated loudly, surprise evident in her tone. She looked around at Spock. "Two weeks?" she repeated in a quieter voice. Spock, who was also surprised, turned back to his father, who did not seem at all disturbed by Nyota's behavior. He had become quite accustomed to the oddities of humans over the years.

"I do not think we will be able to stay for fourteen days, Father. It would be difficult enough to secure early shore leave for that amount of time for one senior bridge officer, but two would be almost impossible. Not to mention that it will be highly suspicious if we both go to New Vulcan at the same time."

"If you wish to make amends, you must come to New Vulcan for two weeks." Sarek repeated. "As you know, Spock, it was customary to remain on Vulcan for a full year after the marriage ceremony. But as you have an obligation to Starfleet, I was able to reduce that amount of time considerably. T'Pau herself has proclaimed that two weeks is the only acceptable amount of time. This will afford Ms. Uhura time to become accustomed to other Vulcans, and she must be taught appropriate Vulcan mannerisms. She must also learn the particulars of the ceremonies she is to participate in."

Spock tapped into their link, and Nyota accepted him with;

_"Two weeks! Spock, we can't possibly get Starfleet to allow that!"_

_"Be that as it may, my father is correct. We wish to make amends, do we not?"_

_"Well, yes, of course..."_

_"And this is how we will. I will find a way to get the time we need on New Vulcan- you need not worry about that, Nyota. T'Pau is correct that we will require two weeks. You have much to learn beforehand, and afterwards it is customary to spend at least one week in the caves to...consummate the marriage."_

He felt a spike of interest across the bond.

_"A whole week?" _she asked. _"Maybe it wouldn't be such a waste of time...we could use a little break..."_

_"Is it decided, then?" _He asked. He listened to her contemplate the pros and cons...the pros outweighing the cons by a substantial amount.

_"Yes. Fine. We'll go..._if_ you can manage to get Starfleet to allow it." _Nyota replied finally. _"I _do_ want to make things right for us- and I want you reconciled with Sarek." _Spock turned back to Sarek.

"It is decided that we shall comply with your wishes, Father, if we can get the amount of leave stated. Once that leave is secured, we shall come to New Vulcan to make reparations for our errors."

"That is agreeable." Sarek replied. His gaze wandered over to Nyota. "I will look forward to formally meeting you in person, Ms. Uhura. We were not introduced during the short amount of time we were on the Enterprise together."

"I will look forward to it, too." Nyota said, smiling. After the appropriate farewells, the connection was terminated. Spock turned to Nyota and captured her hand in his before she could get up from her chair.

"Nyota, I must thank you." he said. Her eyebrows rose and her lips parted slightly.

"For what?" she asked, confused and surprised.

"You did not have to agree to this. You care very deeply that I reconcile with my father- I felt it across the bond."

"Well...of course I care." Nyota said, stroking her thumb over his knuckles. "Didn't I just tell you twenty minutes ago that I don't like to see you in pain?"

He looked into her eyes, the corners of his lips quirking up in what she insisted on calling a 'non-smile'.

"Would you care to continue our discussion now? We still have thirty-one minutes before we must report to the bridge." he asked, squeezing her fingers lightly.

"You know what?" Nyota asked as she moved to drape her legs over his lap. "I think we discussed enough today. We'll continue that discussion whenever the need arises."

She rested her head against his shoulder, and closed her eyes. He looked down at her- she looked sublimely peaceful. Even when relaxed, her lips seem to curve slightly into a smile, and her long lashes curled delicately outward. Her light-brown skin looked so smooth, so soft...he reached out to touch her gently, his fingers brushing over her skin.

"It is only fitting that we also have a Terran ceremony." Spock said after several silent seconds of touching her cheek lightly. She opened her eyes, startled.

"You mean it?" she asked.

"I would not have said it if I did not." he said. "If we are to have a Vulcan ceremony, it is only proper to have a Terran one as well. There are two very different alien cultures involved in this marriage, and I wish to observe them both."

She smiled. If he had thought this small thing would make her happy, he was very correct.

___________________________________________________

"Captain, we are approaching Kathosia now." Sulu said to Kirk, who reclined in his command chair.

"Spock, give me the information from the database." Kirk said. Spock turned in his chair at the science station.

"Captain, Kathosia is a class M planet remarkably similar to Earth, with varying climates and highly similar humanoid inhabitants. The Kathosians, while not yet capable of space travel, are advanced. They have been visited once by the Vulcans, two hundred years ago. At that time, it was found that the Kathosians are a peaceful race, open to further visitations to monitor their progress."

"Good, good." Kirk said, standing and pacing the area in front of his chair. "Lieutenant Uhura, can you make contact?"

"Yes, sir." Nyota said, turning to her station and flicking controls. A few moments passed. "I'm getting something, sir- switching to main viewscreen." She flipped a switch, and a man appeared on the screen. He looked human, except for the fact that his eyes were entirely black. Nyota found them distinctly unsettling as the man spoke.

"My name is M'anuk. I am the High _Koshaak_ of Kathosia. Who are you? Are you Vulcans?" he demanded. It was hard to read his expression with those strange eyes...but Nyota thought he may be angry.

"I have a Vulcan science officer, but for the most part, we are not Vulcans." Kirk said. "I am Captain Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise. We serve the Federation- which was founded by Vulcans. We were sent here to check on you."

The _Koshaak_ seemed to calm down. "Ah, yes. Two hundred and three years ago, we were told others may come. The Vulcans were not friendly. I hope _you _are, Captain Kirk. Come to my palace at sunset for dinner, and bring others- my guards will expect you. There is much to discuss between us."

The viewscreen went blank, and Kirk turned to Spock with risen eyebrows.

"Well, he didn't invite us so much as command us, did he?" Kirk asked.

"Captain, the _Koshaak_ would not be used to politely asking others. He is the high leader of all of Kathosia." Spock replied. Kirk nodded, and looked around.

"Well, who wants to come to dinner at a palace?" Kirk asked. Everyone was immediately clamoring for his attention- it had been a long time since anyone had been off the ship to relax. "Okay- Bones, I guess you can come- Spock, of course, even though I don't think the Kathosians will like you- Uhura, you're coming too."

Nyota looked up sharply at Kirk, but he was already turning away, making some sort of joke to McCoy about what the Kathosian women would look like. Nyota then turned her gaze to Spock. She was sure that he felt her sudden fear and reluctance over their link.

"_Spock, help me! I don't want to go!" _she said desperately. She was still wary about going on away missions.

"Captain." Spock said, stepping down into the sunken area where Kirk sat in his chair. "I request that Lieutenant Uhura stay behind. After Scorpius Three-"

"Spock, she'll be fine. The Kathosians are peaceful. This is a very straightforward mission- assess how much they've advanced over the last two hundred years. No dangers involved, I promise. I need to make sure Uhura can go on away missions- if she can't, that could be a problem." Kirk said. "Stop being overprotective. I'm sure Lieutenant Uhura will want to record the Kathosians' language. From what I've read in the archives, they have several different dialects, a few of which haven't been recorded yet. So leave it alone- that's an order."

Kirk turned away again, and Spock turned to regard Nyota silently.

_"I tried, _ashayam_." _he replied. Nyota sighed.

_"That's fine. I can go. Have you submitted the leave request yet?"_

_"No. I am waiting until this mission is completed. We should have time to stop at New Vulcan on our way to our next mission in the Rigel system."_

_"Have you even mentioned it to Kirk yet? It's been two days, Spock."_ Nyota replied, frowning slightly.

_"Have patience, Nyota." _Spock said. He glanced at a monitor at his station. "Captain, it is almost sunset. We should prepare to leave for the surface."

"Right, of course. Come on, then, everyone- to the transporter room." Kirk said, heading that way. Nyota hesitated, and thought about voicing her wish to stay- before deciding that that wasn't very professional of her. She sighed as she followed them.

_"No harm will come to you if I can stop it." _came Spock's voice. _"Captain Kirk is correct. This should be a very uneventful mission."_

But as Nyota stood on the transporter pad, waiting to be beamed down, she thought to herself- _I have a really bad feeling about this..._

**A/N: Time for some action...the next few chapters will be about Kathosia.**

**Reviews are addictive- so give me my fix!**


	10. Ensnarement

**Chapter 10: Ensnarement**

When Nyota solidified, she found that they had been beamed down into a small, empty town square. It was situated directly in front of a pair of twenty-foot-tall silver gates. Beyond the gates was a sprawling white palace.

"Whoa." she heard someone say to her left- she looked over to see Kirk staring at the view, blue eyes wide, mouth slightly open. Nyota looked to her right and saw Spock there, also gazing at the building, so close that their arms were almost touching. She had a feeling that he was going to be staying close to her throughout this mission- despite the fact that it was supposed to be uneventful. Nyota turned her attention back to the gates- and to the sparkling jewel of a palace beyond them.

She was sure Spock had an approximate measurement already, but she guessed that the palace was a half-mile wide. It was not one building, but an interconnected network of smaller buildings, all adjoined to one larger one in the center. They were all made of some strange white stone that appeared to shimmer in the dying sunlight, taking on the bloodred hues of the sunset, staining them orange, pink, red, purple. Deep shadows were gathering on the eastern wing, bathing the grounds in darkness. It was beautiful- yet oddly sinister.

Even as they watched, glowing lights appeared in the glassless windows. Nyota found the contrast odd- the lighting was too modern for such an ageless place. She had half-expected the lighting to be torches and candles- but this light did not flicker, it was steady and much too bright.

_"It is illogical to assume that, despite its ancient appearance, the inhabitants would not make modern adjustments."_ Spock commented. _"Vulcans made similar changes to their ancestral homes over the centuries." _

_"I didn't say that it was unusual- just...disconcerting." _Nyota replied. She didn't explain further, and he did not ask.

The landing party approached the double gates, into which were worked intricate designs and symbols. They were beautiful, and Nyota was studying them closely when two guards approached from the nearby security tower.

"Who are you and what is your business at the home of the _Koshaak_?" one asked. The universal translators that they all wore immediately translated to Standard.

"We were..._invited_...here by the _Koshaak_ himself." Kirk said, stepping forward. "He said you would be informed of our arrival-" he didn't even have to finish. The men signaled toward the tower, and stepped back. The gates began to swing open, the hinges so well-oiled that they didn't make a sound. Kirk glanced at the other three over his shoulder, before turning back around and leading them through the gates into the well-kept grounds.

"You are to be taken to the dining chamber to await the presence of our noble _Koshaak_." one of the guards said. Nyota glanced over at him- she still found the liquid-black eyes to be unsettling. She couldn't read their emotions- something she didn't like. She would not know if they were angry, or nervous- so there would be no knowing whether or not they were walking into a trap. She had no desire to walk into another ambush.

She and Spock walked side-by-side behind Kirk and McCoy. Occasionally, as their arms swung, they touched ever so lightly. Nyota found it comforting as they neared the large, burnished, copper-colored doors that led into the largest of the buildings.

"Wait here for attendants." a guard said before him and his companion turned and disappeared back out into the ever-darkening grounds. Nyota folded her arms over her chest and looked around- they were in some sort of entry chamber. It was small- maybe twenty feet in each direction, with white stone walls and floor- and only decorated by a few strange sculptures that looked like shapeless blobs of metal, and a woven tapestry across from them that depicted some sort of religious ceremony.

They had been standing in silence for several minutes by the time a door opened to the side and three women came in. They wore shimmering silver dresses that almost seemed to whisper against the floor as they walked to the visitors. Their eyes were as black as the others' had been, but they were still beautiful, with long hair braided and pinned up in elaborate styles.

"The dining chamber awaits." said the woman nearest to Kirk. Despite her cold, empty eyes she was the most beautiful, and Kirk almost eagerly followed her through the open door. McCoy soon followed- only Spock and Nyota hesitated before leaving the entry chamber. But soon they, too, followed.

As they walked through the wide corridors, the decorations seemed to become more and more ornate. Nyota's eyes adjusted to the blinding light that reflected off of the white walls and floors- the lighting system really was too bright- and she was able to admire the artwork.

"According to the archives, the Kathosians are craftsmen. They primarily focus on artwork." Spock said in a quiet voice.

"That is true." said a voice from behind them. Nyota looked over her shoulder to see one of the women following closely. "Art is the Kathosian passion. It is our desire to grace everything with beauty."

"You excel at it." Spock replied. He was only stating a fact- Spock never gave compliments. But the woman smiled nevertheless.

"I have been told that Vulcans are very unfriendly. My great-great grandfather was alive when they came the first time. He told my father that they are rude. I hope that for your sake you are not rude to the _Koshaak_. He has a distrust of Vulcans much deeper than many."

Spock did not reply, but Nyota felt his discomfort at the woman's words. Perhaps it had not been a good idea for him to come along on this mission...

_"I would not have allowed you to go without my presence." _Spock said. Nyota succeeded in suppressing a roll of her eyes.

They finally reached yet another set of doors. The women opened them, and they entered a vast hall. This was easily the most ornate room they had seen so far.

The walls had more intricate designs and symbols worked into them with gold filigree, the overhead lighting making them glint as the landing party walked toward the long wooden table in the center of the room. More tapestries adorned the walls, fur rugs cushioned their foot steps, and fine dishes glittered on the table.

The whole palace reminded Nyota of a mixture of medieval English and Indian architecture and decoration. It was all so beautiful, so archaic...which is why the few displays of more advanced technology were so startling. They were just so out of _place_.

Nyota was seated near the top of the table, across from Spock and next to Kirk. McCoy was shown to the seat next to Spock. The three attendants bowed with their hands pressed together, as if in prayer- it reminded Nyota of the reverential attitude of Eastern women back on Earth. They backed away and took their places along the wall.

Nyota glanced along the table...covered dishes filled every inch of it. She wondered whether or not their food would even be edible- her stomach was rumbling with hunger.

They had not been seated a full minute when an elaborately carved stone door was pulled open by a manservant. A man- or rather, a Kathosian- came through it, dressed in gold cloth, his neck and fingers glittering with strange jewels of every imaginable color. He was taller than Nyota had expected, and if it were not for his cold, blank eyes, he would have been handsome. Nyota felt a nudge in her mind, and she looked away from who she was now sure was the _Koshaak_ to look at Spock. He did not look away from the Kathosian, but he sent her a wave of admonishment. His dislike of her admiring another man, while a little too possessive, almost made her smile. He made it very plain during the time that the _Koshaak_ took to seat himself at the head of the table that the only man she was supposed to admire was _him_.

"Greetings, my guests." the _Koshaak_ said. "Welcome to my home. Is it to your liking?"

"Oh, yes...very beautiful." Kirk said, immediately taking upon himself the responsibility of being their representative.

"Introduce me to your friends, Captain Kirk." the _Koshaak_ said, waving his hand imperiously at Kirk as one of the women poured him a glass of red liquid from a portable refrigerated container.

"This is Dr. McCoy, our ship's physician." Kirk said, gesturing toward the man seated across from him. "This is Mr. Spock, my first officer-"

The _Koshaak_ did not look pleased to see Spock. A faint frown appeared on his lips, and then he looked away from him, toward Nyota, and Kirk introduced her.

"And this is Lieutenant Uhura, our Chief Communications Officer. I'm sure she would like to record some of the dialects of your language while we're planetside." Kirk finished. The _Koshaak_'s gaze lingered on her for an uncomfortable amount of time. It brought back memories of dark-skinned men with yellow eyes and sharp teeth, leering...

She felt another nudge in her mind, and she pulled herself out of the memory. She felt Spock's concern for her, and she looked around. The _Koshaak_ was now conversing with Kirk.

"We have not advanced a significant amount in the last two hundred and three years, Captain Kirk." the _Koshaak_ was saying. He picked up a spoon and dipped it into the steaming soup that had just been placed before him. "It has been said for many generations that if we did not spend our time improving technology that will only increase the quality of our artwork, we would have been in space many years ago- perhaps even before the Vulcans."

"So I take it the Kathosians have no interest in space travel?" Kirk asked, picking at his own soup, frowning at the strange, rubbery vegetables in it. Nyota tasted the soup- it wasn't very flavorful. She supposed Spock would find it to his liking- she had heard Vulcan food was very...bland.

"We have no need for it." the _Koshaak_ said. "We do not need to establish inter-planetary trade for resources, as Kathosia has plenty, and we prefer to keep our art to ourselves. We have no curiosity beyond our world. Why should we desire to build ships out of metal that is better suited for jewelry or sculptures? It would be a waste of resources and time. No, we are content with our lives and have been for many years. We leave space to the Vulcans." He said the word with disdain, and accompanied it with a glance at Spock.

"You don't seem to like Vulcans very much." McCoy spoke up. The _Koshaak_ looked at him.

"They were rude. I dislike their lack of politeness. When asked whether or not they liked the decorations, they pronounced them to be merely 'adequate'. This is an insult."

Nyota thought it was a stupid reason to dislike Vulcans, and she looked up from her soup at Spock, who met her gaze.

_"I must agree." _Spock replied. _"'Adequate' _is_ a compliment coming from a Vulcan."_

She couldn't stop the smile from forming- what she did not realize was that the _Koshaak_ had seen their silent exchange, had seen her smile and the way their eyes had burned as they looked at one another...

__________________________________________________________

"This is certainly an experience I'm not about to forget." Kirk said as they were led through another wide corridor. The _Koshaak_ had insisted that they stay in the palace for the night, because by the time dinner was over it was almost midnight. They had spent nearly six hours sitting at the table with the Kathosian. It had not been entirely unpleasant- the food had improved after the first course, and after awhile the _Koshaak_ had called for entertainment. They had spent the next few hours watching Kathosian dancers, who moved gracefully and skillfully to beautiful, haunting music- all while wearing hardly any clothing. Nyota had thought they were more like exotic belly dancers- something that both Kirk and McCoy seemed to appreciate.

The _Koshaak_ had then asked- no, _demanded_- that Kirk tell him more about the Federation and Starfleet and what his mission was up in space. He had listened with little interest, and stated his opinion that the Vulcans should have kept to themselves and should not have interfered with other planets by creating the Federation.

"Planets are better off without interference! Vulcans are too meddling." he had said, punctuating his exclamation with a fist slamming into the table. Nyota had felt Spock's annoyance with that obviously incorrect supposition.

As Nyota walked beside Spock down the corridor, she thought about how the _Koshaak_'s black eyes had turned to her far too often throughout the evening. Was she just being paranoid, after what had happened on Scorpius Three? Every time those chilling eyes fell on her...she had felt goosebumps rise on her skin.

"These are Captain Kirk's quarters." one of the women said, stopping at the first door they came to. "Please, Mr. Kirk, if there is anything you would like, do not hesitate to ask."

Kirk grinned, and leaned forward to whisper in her ear. Nyota watched as she blushed, but then she gave Kirk a look that plainly said 'what is your wish is my command'. Nyota rolled her eyes at Spock.

_"He's at it again. Let's just hope she doesn't have an incurable sexually transmitted disease." _Nyota said. Spock rose an eyebrow, but said nothing.

The next quarters were McCoy's, and the last they came to were Spock's- which, Nyota noted, were much smaller and less elaborately decorated, from what she could see of it before the door closed behind him.

"The female quarters are situated in another building." one of the women said. "This is to prevent improper fraternization."

Nyota rose her eyebrows at that, considering that the woman had just agreed to Kirk's request, but followed the three women down a different corridor. They were silent, the only sounds being the gentle swishing of their gowns as they walked, and Nyota's boots echoing against the pristine white walls.

They walked for several minutes, and Nyota was beginning to wonder how much longer it would take. She was tired, and wanted nothing more than to go to sleep in a big, comfortable bed. She had considered going to join Spock in his quarters, but she didn't think she would be able to find her way back there. She would have to spend the night alone- something she hadn't had to do since the night they bonded.

Finally, just when Nyota thought she would fall asleep while walking, they stopped at the very end of a corridor. Double doors stood there, emblazoned with the seal of Kathosia- it was everywhere in the palace, and the _Koshaak_ had told them what it was over dinner. It depicted a wild animal that was feared by all Kathosians- a _w'anika_. It resembled a Terran wolf, but it was much bigger and much more vicious. It was the _Koshaak_'s family symbol.

"There will be a gown on a table inside. Change into it and leave your current clothing behind before entering the next chamber." a woman said, as she pulled open the doors. Nyota was puzzled, but she entered anyway. She had barely entered the room when the door thudded shut behind her, startling her.

It seemed that she was in some sort of antechamber. It was sparsely decorated with only a few vases and what looked like a bust of a woman on a table next to the door that led to the next chamber. On a table near Nyota was a gown quite similar to what the other women had been wearing, but instead of silver it was pale gold.

Assuming that this was some sort of ritual for Kathosian woman- as she was sure that her fellow crewmates hadn't been put through this- she unzipped her boots, leaving them by the door, and stripped out of her uniform until she stood only in her underwear. She took the hairband out of her hair, fanning it around her shoulders. Shivering slightly in the cool air, she reached for the gown and pulled it on over her head. It fit perfectly, clinging to her every curve. With a smile, she sent an image of herself in the dress to Spock- just as a teaser.

He did not reply, but it seemed that it had teased him enough, as he closed the link to prevent further distraction. She had probably interrupted his meditation. Well, it would certainly give him _something_ to meditate about...

Still smirking, she reached for the door in front of her and pulled it open. She entered the chambers within- and stopped short.

Something was _very_ wrong.

The bedchamber was large and richly decorated- far too lush for a guest. A platform rose up in the center of the room, and on it stood a large bed, painted gold and hung with sheer curtains and piled with plump pillows. Instead of the harsh modern lighting in the rest of the palace, this room was lit with torches and candles, a soft golden glow suffusing each surface with glimmering light. Incense scented the air from golden plates placed on small tables around the room.

None of this was alarming- except for the Kathosian standing in a doorway that led to a balcony.

"Lieutenant Uhura." the _Koshaak _said in a soft, caressing voice. Nyota's skin crawled.

"I'm sorry, there must have been a mistake." Nyota said, jaw clenched. She turned to leave.

"No, there was no mistake. I told the women to bring you here, to my chambers." the _Koshaak _said. "Do not be alarmed. Stay a moment. I wish to speak to you."

Nyota had half a mind to run away, but she didn't want to insult the _Koshaak_. It wouldn't be very diplomatic of her. If he tried anything, she would use a few choice defensive moves and run back to the others.

She turned stiffly back around. "I don't know what it's like here on Kathosia, sir, but on Earth men don't invite women they hardly know to their bedchambers. It conveys the wrong message." Nyota said through gritted teeth. Those hateful black eyes were watching her, and she thought he might be admiring the gold dress on her. Her skin stopped crawling, but now she felt faintly nauseous. _Why_ did these things always happen to her?

"It is the same here, Lieutenant Uhura. But I am the _Koshaak_." He said this as if it explained everything- and maybe it did, for him. He walked slowly towards her. "I, like every other respectable Kathosian, enjoy collecting beautiful things. You are certainly beautiful, even with those strange eyes. I can learn to overlook them."

"What are you getting at?" Nyota hissed. He really was starting to unnerve her now.

"I would like to ask you to leave Starfleet and stay with me, here on Kathosia. I promise that I will make you very happy. I am the high leader of the planet- anything you may wish to have can be yours. If you would like, I can even marry you and make you _Koshaaka_. Only I would be above you then, and the fact that you are an outsider would not be questioned by my people if it is my wish. This is a very great honor, Lieutenant. You would be wise to take it."

Nyota was no longer just _faintly _queasy. But she was now also afraid...what would the _Koshaak_ do if she refused? He was used to getting his way...no one ever denied him. She accessed the bond, and transmitted her fear to Spock as she showed what was happening. She felt his surprise, his anger, and then that ancient possessive Vulcan emotion...now she felt that he was coming. He was determined to find her.

"I can't do that, _Koshaak_." Nyota said, confident now that she knew Spock was coming. "Nothing you can offer would induce me to stay on Kathosia."

The _Koshaak_ paused. He had begun to pace before her. She really wished she could see his emotions in his eyes so that she could gauge whether or not she was in danger.

"Of course." he said quietly. He abruptly turned his back to her and headed toward a gleaming silver decanter that stood on a nearby table. "Would you like a drink?"

"Um...no thanks." Nyota said.

"It is considered rude to not accept a drink the _Koshaak _offers." he said coldly. Nyota bit her lip.

"Fine." she replied. She had done enough damage already- and she didn't know what he would do if she refused the drink.

"I assume that the Vulcan has something to do with your reluctance to stay?" he asked as he turned back to her, holding two glasses full of red liquid. He handed one to her, and she accepted it- although she had absolutely no intentions of drinking it.

"Excuse me?" Nyota asked nervously. How had he known about her and Spock?

"I saw you exchange looks with him at dinner. I deduced that you are in a romantic relationship." the _Koshaak_ said, his voice still cold. "Drink, Lieutenant. I am sure you are thirsty."

She really wasn't- and she didn't trust him. She raised the glass to her lips, prepared to _pretend_ to drink it. But as she raised it, the aroma of the drink struck her. She had never smelled anything so enticing...her mouth watered. She _had_ to try it- her brain screamed it at her. She took a sip...the drink was tangy, almost sour, but not wholly unpleasant. She took a bigger drink. The smell filled her nostrils, the taste filled her mouth. Yet she still wanted more...

"Am I correct about my assumption?" the _Koshaak_ pressed.

"Yes, you are." Nyota said before taking another sip...the drink really was quite good...she couldn't seem to get enough. Why had she been so reluctant to try it again?

"I see." his voice sounded strangely distant. She looked up at him, to see that his eyes almost seemed to be glittering...was that just from the candles? Or was it from something else?

She wondered if the drink was alcoholic, because the room started to spin...she couldn't focus...her mind was slipping in and out of clarity...

"What is this stuff?" she asked, her own voice sounding hollow, distant...like she was wearing ear plugs...she was so dizzy, her body felt heavy...she heard the sound of breaking glass as she dropped her cup. She sank down onto the platform where the bed rested, her knees suddenly too weak to support her weight.

"It is _fallasa_ juice. Its scent and taste is irresistible, addictive even. It is a well-loved Kathosian beverage, and is harmless- quite nutritious, actually. However, I added something else to it...do not worry, the effects will pass momentarily, and when your mind clears, you will want to stay here. With me."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" she asked. Her vision was doubling...she couldn't see anything...she sensed that the _Koshaak_ was walking toward her, and she blinked rapidly, trying to clear her vision. He loomed over her...

"You will love me." he said. Nyota's brow furrowed.

"N-no...I won't..." her tongue felt heavy in her mouth.

"You will. I am the _Koshaak_. _No one_ denies me. You _will_ be mine."

Her mind began to clear slowly, oh so slowly...she could see him now, the candlelight glinting off of his many multi-colored jewels. He was kneeling before her, holding her hands in his.

"What is your name?" he asked. "Your first name?"

"Nyota." The dizziness was subsiding, although it still felt like she was in a daze. She felt...confused...her mind was still foggy.

"Nyota." he said the name slowly, drawing it out. He smiled for the first time since she had known him. "Nyota, are you going to stay on Kathosia with me? I greatly desire you. I want you to stay."

"I will, great _Koshaak_." Nyota murmured. His hands tightened around hers. He pulled her up so that she was standing. She swayed dangerously for a moment, before she regained her balance.

"Call me by my name, sweet Nyota. Call me M'anuk. Why do you want to stay, Nyota?"

"Because..." Nyota smiled up at him. "Because I love you, M'anuk. I desire nothing more than to remain with you. Nothing else is important to me. No one denies you."

"And what of Spock?" he asked, his tone becoming lower, disdainful as he said the name. Nyota tilted her head, frowning.

"Who is Spock?" she asked. He smiled again.

"It does not matter. He is only a Vulcan. Vulcans are unimportant, meddlesome. They are to be despised."

"Yes..." Nyota agreed distantly, nodding her head. "They are."

He pulled her against him, and she smiled as she nuzzled her cheek against his shoulder. M'anuk...so handsome, so desirable...there would be no one else. No one denied him. She would be his.

**A/N: There will be more action in the two upcoming chapters, I think...but let me know what you think about this chapter. I'm sure not everyone will be happy about it.**

**Edit: Yep, I was right- judging by some reviews I've gotten, people aren't happy. So I'm going to add this little note to clear the air a little bit. First of all- Nyota is NOT going to be violated, sexually or otherwise! I'm not cruel enough to do that. So that's that.**

**As for those pointing out the bond error- I clearly said that Spock closed the link because he was meditating. He knew she would contact him if in danger. Also- I know Nyota would not normally drink something given to her by someone like M'anuk. I have amended that section to include a somewhat-lame explanation. **

**I'm sorry if you don't like where this is going- but I'm not going to change it. This idea has been bugging me for days, and yes I know that Nyota has already been put through the ringer. There's a reason for the similarities to Scorpius Three which will be revealed later.**

**One last thing- Nyota does not ACTUALLY love M'anuk. But the mind-altering substance he used on her makes her THINK that she does. Everything will be explained later, I promise.  
**


	11. Tumultuous

**A/N: Okay, after several reviews stating that Nyota would never, under any circumstance, be dumb enough to drink something offered to her by M'anuk...I've realized the reviewers are right. I have edited the whole scene in chapter 10 where she drank the juice. Please go back and read it before reading this, because it will be mentioned in this chapter. I know that my changes to make it more believable are weak, but I hope it is a little more acceptable to those who brought the plot-hole to my attention. Please let me know if the changes are acceptable or not. I really do try to listen to my readers' opinions.**

**And also- if you have not read the notes I added at the end of chapter 10, and are concerned that Nyota and M'anuk will get intimate, I want to reassure you. That won't happen. The only man Nyota will ever sleep with in my stories is Spock- no matter the situation. I'm addressing this issue because it was a concern of some of my reviewers.**

**Chapter 11: Tumultuous**

Spock took one of the pillows off of the bed and placed it on the floor before settling down onto it. He took several deep breaths, letting them out slowly. He closed his eyes, relaxing his body as he began to meditate.

He had been meditating for nearly fifteen minutes when Nyota sent him an image...an image of her wearing a skin-tight golden dress. He shifted uncomfortably, not allowing himself to become aroused. Across the link he sensed her mischief...she was _trying_ to discomfit him.

He closed the link so he could meditate without interruption, confident that she would contact him if he was needed. And once his nightly meditation was over...he would seek her out, and rip that dress to shreds. He almost smirked at the thought.

He was again meditating when he felt her reach out to him across the bond. All of his attention immediately turned to her when he felt her fear. She showed him the _Koshaak_...he was asking her to stay on Kathosia. She was afraid. She needed him.

He stood swiftly as he felt anger and possessiveness overwhelm him. This time, however- it seemed he could control it. It would not be like the last time. He would not be the cause of her pain.

Spock picked up his phaser from where it lay with his tricorder and utility belt on a table. He headed toward the door...he could feel Nyota, and knew he could find her if he followed the link. He stopped only long enough to consider that perhaps he should recruit the help of his captain and McCoy. He might need assistance...

He strode to Kirk's door and pounded on it. The burnished metal dented under his fist- but he did not care if he ruined the Kathosian artwork. Let them think he was _rude_.

"Spock?" Kirk asked when he answered the door, shirtless. If he had not been so preoccupied by Nyota, it would have occurred to him that his captain was waiting on company.

"We must assist Lieutenant Uhura." Spock replied in clipped tones. "Please get your phaser, Captain."

"What?" Kirk asked, taken aback. "What do you mean? We just saw Uhura a little bit ago..."

"And since then she has fallen into the hands of the _Koshaak_." Spock replied. "Captain. She is frightened...I feel it across our bond. She needs help. If you will not assist me, I will go alone. We are wasting time."

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Kirk said. He disappeared and came back 10.6 seconds later, wearing a shirt and holding his phaser. By that time, Spock was already at McCoy's door.

Soon, the three men were armed and assembled. Spock began to lead the way down the corridor- the others had to run to keep up with him.

"You're sure she needs help?" McCoy panted as he neared Spock.

"Affirmative, Doctor." Spock replied firmly. "While her fear has momentarily dissipated, she is still wary."

"So you feel everything she's feeling?" Kirk asked.

"Captain, this is hardly the time to discuss the particulars of the marriage bond." Spock replied flatly. He was concentrating on the piece of his soul embedded in Nyota's mind...an invisible rope connected them, and if he needed to find her, that rope would pull him inexorably toward his goal.

Left, right, straight ahead, right again- the corridors were a maze. If he did not have the bond to guide him, he would be lost already.

It was Scorpius Three all over again. Searching, searching...so close but not quite there...he must find her. He must save her.

He was passing an ornate vase on a marble pedestal when it struck. A haze entered his mind...he became dizzy, his limbs heavy, sounds were strangely muffled...he stumbled, reaching out to the pedestal to catch himself. The vase fell, shattering against the floor. He heard Kirk and McCoy nearby him.

"Spock...are you okay?" Kirk asked, and Spock felt his hand on his shoulder.

"It is not me. It is Nyota." Spock said. He was breathing heavily as he leaned against the wall. "I must close the link, or I will be unable to continue."

He struggled to close it...it was difficult. Her mind was a whirl of fog and confusion...something was terribly wrong.

When the link was closed, he felt his strength and clarity of mind return. He pushed against the cool wall until he stood straight.

"We must keep going." he said. "I do not know what has happened to her...but it is not good."

He took a step forward...which direction had the bond been pulling him toward before the strange spell of dizziness? This would be much more difficult now that the link could not guide him...Spock turned down the next corridor. He could only hope that this was the correct way...he considered trying to tap into the link again to check, but he wasn't sure if he would be able to withdraw again. Nyota's clouded mind would make it extremely difficult for him to concentrate.

To Spock's relief, the corridors were becoming less like a maze. But even while he was relieved about this, his panic was rising...what if they were too late? What had happened to his Nyota to make her mind so..._tumultuous_? A deep dread had settled in the pit of his stomach by the time they finally reached a long corridor that ended with a set of double doors, emblazoned with the Kathosian Seal.

"That has to be it." Kirk said. Spock did not reply- he immediately went to the doors and pulled at the carved handles. They were not as heavy as they looked, and opened easily. Kirk and McCoy followed him, phasers raised and ready.

They were in an antechamber. The first things Spock noticed were Nyota's boots next to the door, and her uniform folded neatly on a table nearby. This must have been where she changed into the gown...there was another door up ahead, and Spock headed toward it.

He pulled on the handle, and swung the door open. His fingers tightened around the phaser as he entered. What he saw stopped him cold, and he had to fight _hard_ against the rising tide of disbelief, confusion, and fury within him- and he did not entirely succeed.

Nyota- HIS Nyota, his _wife_- stood with her head resting on the _Koshaak'_s shoulder, one of the _Koshaak'_s arms around her slim waist, the other raised as he stroked her hair.

Spock's nostrils flared. His eyes widened. He was again teetering on the edge of his control. Yes- this was definitely Scorpius Three all over again. The similarities were startling.

"What the HELL?" McCoy said loudly, before Spock could do anything. He was staring at the couple. The _Koshaak_ turned around, releasing Nyota from his embrace. Nyota looked at them- and Spock was unsettled by what he saw. Her face was entirely blank- her eyes looked dead, hollow. He knew immediately that she was not in her right mind.

"What have you done to her?" Spock asked. His voice was even, controlled- it did not at all reveal how he was feeling. There was not so much as a hint of the fury that seemed about to erupt from him. It seemed that, while he did not get the chance to exact revenge on Nyota's torturers on Scorpius Three- the _Koshaak_ would not be so lucky.

"I have done nothing." the _Koshaak_ was smirking mockingly at him, cold black eyes glittering. Spock's jaw clenched.

"_Sarlah_, Nyota." Spock said in Vulcan.

Nyota's eyebrows drew together, and she looked at the _Koshaak._

"Why has he commanded me to come to him, M'anuk?" she asked. The _Koshaak_ continued to smirk.

"Nyota, what have I said about Vulcans?" he asked. Nyota looked back at Spock.

"They are unimportant and meddlesome. They are to be despised." Her voice, like her eyes, was hollow and devoid of emotion. Yet the words still hurt. Spock drew in a deep breath.

"Nyota, do not listen to the _Koshaak_. He has somehow altered your mind. You must remember who you are. You are Nyota Uhura of-"

"Enough! I tire of this conversation. I order you to leave my presence. Nyota has decided to stay with me- she will not return to Starfleet. This is by her own choice." the _Koshaak_ said. Kirk and McCoy, who were on either side of Spock, also with raised phasers, stepped forward.

"By her own choice my ass." Kirk snapped. "Let her go and we won't fire."

The _Koshaak _moved toward a rope that hung from the ceiling.

"I will not let her go- and if you fire your weapons, you will soon be dead. I give you one last chance to heed my command. Leave my presence. No one disobeys me."

"We're not leaving without her." McCoy said grimly, tightening his hold on his phaser. The _Koshaak_ smirked once more.

"As you wish, fools." he said, and raised his hand to pull on the rope. From overhead came the deep, reverberating clash of a large gong. As if this were a cue, Spock, McCoy, and Kirk all fired their phasers at the man before them. He flew backward, hitting the wall before sliding down to lay in a heap beside the bed's platform. Nyota let out a short cry.

"No!" she said. "Don't do that! I love him!"

All three men froze and turned to her at this declaration. Although he knew she was not herself, the words cut Spock to the very core of his being. Even though he knew she did not really love him- it did not diminish the pain of hearing her say she loved another.

"Nyota, you do not love him." Spock said calmly. Kirk was now kneeling in front of the _Koshaak_, feeling for a pulse- although at this point in time, Spock did not care if three phaser shots had been too much for him- Vulcan respect for living beings be damned. McCoy was examining a pile of broken glass near Nyota's feet, a red liquid staining the once-immaculate white stone floor.

"How would you know? You're _Vulcan_. I want to stay here. I love M'anuk. No one denies him. I am his."

Both Kirk and McCoy were refusing to look at Spock. He stepped over the mess of broken glass to stand in front of Nyota.

"Get away from me!" she said, stepping back, almost tripping over the platform behind her. Spock reached out, catching her arm to prevent her from falling, and at the same time rose his other hand to her temple. Before she could pull away, he entered her mind fully.

He was not prepared for what he found there. There was nothing...just vague impressions, no emotions, no thoughts other than what the _Koshaak_ had told her. He attempted to locate her memories, _anything _that would indicate that she was more than an empty shell. But it was as if it was all blocked from him...he could sense it there, but he could not access it. Her mind was dark...almost dead. She was there, somewhere...locked inside her own body.

_"Listen to me, Nyota. You do _not _love the _Koshaak._ He has somehow altered your mind. He has planted these ideas in your head, and you believe them because there is nothing else for you believe."_

_"How are you doing this! Get out of my head, Vulcan! M'anuk was right about you...you are meddlesome! What is it to you if I want to stay on Kathosia?"_

_"You are Nyota Uhura, Chief Communications Officer of the U.S.S. Enterprise, a member of Starfleet. You do not love the _Koshaak_, you love _me_. You are my wife. The _Koshaak _is manipulating you to suit his own desires."_

_"Liar! I would never marry a Vulcan! I despise Vulcans!"_

Spock sent her an image of them- of the night they bonded. He recalled how happy she had been, how happy _he_ had been.

_"You do not despise Vulcans. He has made you think you do. You do not despise anything- you are emotionless. He has taken your essence of who you are away from you."_

_"Stop putting images in my head!" _she cried. Spock only sent her more.

_"They are memories- _your_ memories." _Spock replied. _"I am trying to help you, _ashayam_."_

Suddenly, he felt himself being pulled away from her. "No!" he called- but it was too late. He felt hands on him, backing him away from Nyota, who still stood, looking even more dazed than before.

He had forgotten about the gong in the ensuing phaser fire and in his urgency to get to Nyota. But now that he was surrounded on all sides by silver-clad guards wearing armor and carrying some sort of advanced weaponry- he realized that the gong had been a summons. He was unarmed- he had dropped his phaser when he melded with Nyota.

Even his Vulcan strength was no match for the four men holding him, and the four weapons leveled at him. He looked around, and saw that Kirk and McCoy were standing with their hands up, phasers held loosely. They were far outnumbered...twenty to three.

"What have you done to the _Koshaak_?" one Kathosian demanded of Kirk.

"He's alive, if that's what you're worried about." Kirk snorted. "Just knocked out."

"Which of you has done this?" he now demanded.

"It was all three of us!" McCoy snapped. "And I'd do it again, too! Just what the hell did he do to Uhura?"

"Take them to the prison!" the Kathosian barked. "When the great _Koshaak_ awakens, he will decide their fate!"

Spock was still staring at Nyota, who watched what was happening around her, her face just as blank as before. Her eyes were still dull...what had they done to her? He felt pain building within him. She did not remember him. She was convinced that she loved the _Koshaak_. This _wasn't_ just like Scorpius Three...this was worse.

_________________________________________________________________

"So much for being a 'peaceful' race. Those are the biggest damned phasers I've ever seen. What the hell is going on?" McCoy asked as soon the force field sprang up behind them, blocking the entrance to the cell.

"I have no idea. Did you learn anything from the meld, Spock?" Kirk asked. Spock did not reply. He sat down in the farthest corner of the cell, legs crossed, his hands clasped together in front of his lips. He closed his eyes, attempting to access the bond, but to no avail. That, just like the rest of her, was inaccessible. He had no explanation for it- it should have been impossible for something to affect her brain this way. The only logical explanation was that the Kathosians had some sort of mind-altering drug...but how did it work? Would it wear off? Was it permanent? Would Nyota ever recover from it, if they somehow managed to get away from here?

His last view of Nyota had been as they were led away by the Kathosians...she had been kneeling beside the unconscious _Koshaak_, stroking his cheek. The sight had been extremely painful for him. Would she always think she loved the _Koshaak_ instead of him? Was their new marriage already over? What Nyota had said before was true...every time they were happy, something came along to ruin it. He didn't think he would ever be happy again if Nyota did not recover. In fact, he would be miserable. He had never thought that he would be forced to see Nyota with another...he had not been prepared for the torment it brought. Was it possible for him to still be alive, with this much pain inside him?

"Spock?" Kirk asked hesitantly. Spock opened his eyes and looked at his captain.

"I found nothing of use, Captain. It appears that whatever the _Koshaak_ did to her, it has altered her mind. She does not remember anything- including me. She does not feel emotion. It is as if her brain has been shut down, as unlikely as that may sound. I cannot even access the link. When I melded with her...it was like being in a dark room with no light."

"So he somehow brainwashed her?" Kirk asked.

"A crude term, Captain, but that appears to be the case. Nyota only knows of the things the _Koshaak_ has told her. She is, at this time, not the Nyota any of us know."

"So she's gone?" McCoy asked quietly. Spock was not as adept at 'reading' eyes as Nyota was, but he thought that perhaps the doctor was looking at him with pity. He did not want or need his pity.

"No. I felt her. She is still there, but buried. I cannot explain it, Doctor. I am at a loss to explain how this has happened. Such a thing as this should be impossible."

"I think that this has something to do with the liquid I found on the floor." McCoy said, picking up his medical tricorder- the Kathosians had not bothered to take it when they frisked them for weapons. "When I saw the broken glass, I figured I would scan it. The results are incomplete- whatever was in the glass has never been cataloged before. But a few things did register. I didn't get the chance to read the findings before those Kathosians burst in."

"Then please refrain from stalling, Doctor, and share what you _do_ know. Any information on what has happened to my wife would be appreciated at this time." Spock replied. His voice was laced with impatience, and Kirk and McCoy exchanged surprised glances.

"All right." McCoy grumbled. At any other time, he would have thrown in an insult or two- but apparently he was wise enough to realize that now was not the time to provoke this particular Vulcan. "The liquid itself is made from some kind of fruit- but there are two chemicals in it that aren't fully registering on the tricorder, and I'll need better equipment to study them. One appears to be a highly addictive chemical- I've never seen one so potent before. I imagine that even the smell of the stuff would be enough to hook someone. I think that's a natural property of the fruit, because it's present throughout the liquid. But the other one...the concentration isn't as great. And it's something completely different. The tricorder shows that it has some psychotropic chemicals in it- but nothing like what we have on Earth. I think that's what our old pal the _Koshaak_ gave her that's completely messed with her head. I can't say for certain how it works or if there's an antidote. But my guess is that it should wear off eventually- unless he gives her more. As for recovery, I have no clue."

"So you're saying that he gave her some sort of drink that she wouldn't be able to resist, and slipped something in it?" Kirk repeated.

"This is all just a guess, Jim. Like I said, the results of the scan are incomplete. There are too many unknown components. But it sounds like the ultimate date-rape drug. Slip her some of that, and she'll believe whatever you say."

"Do not say that word." Spock said shortly. McCoy rose his eyebrows.

"What word?" he asked. "Rape?" When Spock stared stonily back at him, he swallowed and looked away. "Right. I'm sure you don't want to think about the fact that he might-"

"Bones, stop it." Kirk said sternly. McCoy fell silent, looking down at the floor.

The thought _had _occurred to Spock that the _Koshaak_ may very well take advantage of Nyota's confusion. The thought made him want to slam his fist into the wall. It would only be rape because she was not in the right state of mind...because she would be all too willing.

He needed to get his mind off of that before he hit someone. Dr. McCoy seemed a good candidate. The fact that he was contemplating violence, which he was normally opposed to, only proved that he was not _quite_ in control.

The cell was silent for several minutes. Spock remained in his corner, and McCoy took the opposite, still looking at his tricorder. Kirk paced the floor, looking around the cell.

"I do not suppose that you have checked in with the Enterprise this evening?" Spock asked Kirk after awhile. Kirk continued to pace.

"Nope. I called them after dinner to let them know that we were spending the night, and I said I would contact them in the morning. And since we all left our communicators in our quarters- which was a very stupid move- we have no way of contacting them to let them know what's going on. So we can't beam out."

"Our quarters are not far from here." Spock said, more to himself.

"That doesn't really do us any good, now does it?" Kirk asked with a sigh.

"It may, Captain." Spock said slowly. He unfolded his legs and stood. "Jim, you must order me to do something. I cannot do it with a clear conscience otherwise. It is highly unethical for a Vulcan."

"What are you getting at?" McCoy asked suspiciously, standing up from his own corner. "Do you have some Vulcan trick up your sleeve?"

"I have never understood that particular colloquialism, Doctor, but to humor you- yes." Spock replied without even looking at him.

"Well, what am I ordering you to do, Spock?" Kirk asked.

"You must order me to use my touch telepathy in a highly unethical manner to induce one of our guards to assist us."

"You can _do_ that?" McCoy asked in disbelief. Kirk was grinning.

"Mr. Spock, I _order _you to use your Vulcan mind tricks to get one of these Kathosians to help us get out the hell out of here." Kirk said. Spock tilted his head.

"Very well, Captain." Spock said. He walked slowly over to the horizontal, electric-blue bars of the force field. A Kathosian was patrolling the corridor, holding his phaser across his chest with both hands. He watched him closely, noting every movement. The Kathosian would walk past the cell, pivot smartly on one heel, and walk past the other way. Spock timed it perfectly, and just as the guard walked by again, his arm shot out between the bars, his fingers landing precisely on the man's meld points.

_"You will power down the force field and get us weapons. When that is done, you will let us leave, and energize the force field again. If your superior comes to check on us, you must tell him all is well. You will not remember doing this." _he said, before pulling his arm back. The man stood stock-still for a moment, black eyes half-hooded, before he turned to the panel beside the cell and keyed in a code. The blue bars disappeared.

"That was easy." McCoy said, staring as the man left and came back with three Kathosian phaser rifles.

"It was hardly taxing, but such use of mind-control is, as I said, unethical." Spock replied. He accepted his phaser rifle and tested its hefty weight. It was much more ungainly than their phaser pistols, but it would work.

"First things first- communicators." Kirk said. "I'll contact the Enterprise to have us on standby for beam-up. Then we'll go get Uhura. You have my permission to kill the _Koshaak_ if he puts up a struggle, Spock- I'll just tell Starfleet Command that we tried to leave and he was a necessary casualty."

"Captain, I am not usually inclined to violence."

"Yeah- not _usually_." McCoy said. "But this is different, Spock- that man is trying to take your woman. Where's all that fury we saw on Scorpius?"

"I am Vulcan. I do not express fury."

"Not expressing it doesn't mean you don't feel it. Come on." Kirk said.

They turned and began to run down the corridor. This time, it was different- they had been too urgent before, they had not fully planned everything out. This time, they knew what they were going to do, what to expect. They had a plan, and they would have the Enterprise on standby if it went wrong.

Spock was determined to get his Nyota back- and this time, he _would not_ fail. And if the _Koshaak_ died during the struggle...so be it.

**A/N: Yeah, I'm sure the semi-not really-scientific explanation for the juice thing made no sense. But I failed chemistry in high school, so...**

**This chapter wasn't too exciting- but the next one should make up for it. Either chapter 12 or 13 will be the end of this little story arc. I won't know until tomorrow (or tonight, depending on what time it is when you read this). Anyway, reviews, good or bad (I prefer good, but I actually found after the last chapter that bad ones are helpful, too) are awesome! So if you have time, drop a few lines. Or a few words. Heck, a letter would be fine. Just give me something to look forward to in my inbox!**


	12. Reclamation

**Chapter 12: Reclamation**

Almost an hour passed before M'anuk began to stir. He had been moved to the bed by a pair of guards, and Nyota sat on the edge of the bed, gently sponging his forehead with a damp cloth.

"You are awake." she said when his eyes opened. He pushed her hand away from his face and sat up.

"Where are they?" he growled. Not even a flicker of emotion showed on her face.

"They have been apprehended, M'anuk. They await your order for execution." Nyota replied.

"They will receive it immediately. I want them dead by sunrise. When they are dead, you will hail the Enterprise and inform them that an accident occurred- and that you are staying here. You will tell them that the circumstance was regrettable but they should leave."

"Yes, M'anuk." Nyota replied obediently. He smirked, and moved so that his feet rested on the floor.

"Come to the balcony with me, Nyota. I want to show you something." he said.

"Should you be up, M'anuk? Your physician said you may have sustained a head injury in your fall."

"I am fine. Come, Nyota." he said, standing. Nyota paused...hadn't the Vulcan said the same thing to her? She was confused for a moment, but then the peaceful blankness returned. She took M'anuk's proffered hand and stood, following him through the open archway, the sheer curtains grazing against her bare shoulders as she walked through them.

The night was silent, so peaceful. Hundreds of thousands of stars lit up the sky, like diamonds against black velvet. There were two luminous moons that bathed the palace and the city sprawled around it in milky, incandescent light. The view was breathtaking...hundreds of houses stood beyond the gates, all made of light-colored stone that reflected the moonlight, making it seem almost like they were glowing. There were no street lights...the Kathosians were asleep.

"It is beautiful, is it not?" M'anuk asked, standing close to her. She could feel his warm breath against her neck.

"It is." she agreed. She did not move, but he was standing too close...why did she think this? She loved him. She was his. And yet the Vulcan...but no, she couldn't trust the Vulcan. He had tried to trick her into believing the strangest of things...married to him, indeed!

"Why would anyone want to be up there, in the sky, when it is so much lovelier to view it from here?" M'anuk asked.

"I do not know, M'anuk." she replied tonelessly. She was beginning to feel cold...much colder than she should have, considering what a warm night it was. She hugged her arms around herself for warmth, but M'anuk did not notice.

"This will be yours, soon." he said, gesturing toward the moon-kissed scene before them. "When you become my _Koshaaka_. Then you will bear me children. This will be an honor- many women want me, but I have never found one I think suitable enough for me."

"I _am_ honored." Nyota replied automatically. She was more than cold now...she was freezing. She was starting to feel weak again. She reached out to the railing of the balcony for support.

"You are cold." he said, and reached out his hands to place them on her shoulders. His fingers teased the inch-wide straps holding her gown up. He slowly slid them off her shoulders. "Yet your skin feels hot."

She shivered- she wasn't sure if it was from the chill, his hands on her shoulders, or the lustful tone in his voice. This made no sense- she loved him. Why was her body behaving so?

He turned her around to face him, and caressed her cheek. He leaned forward to place kisses on her neck, working his way up to her jaw, her chin, and now he kissed the corner of her mouth. Nyota jerked away- the Vulcan's words returned to her..._"You are Nyota Uhura, Chief Communications Officer of the U.S.S. Enterprise, a member of Starfleet. You do not love the _Koshaak_, you love _me_. You are my wife. The _Koshaak _is manipulating you to suit his own desires."_

She had thought he was crazy. But then why did his voice sound so familiar to her? Why did she somehow feel, in the pit of her stomach, that something was amiss? Yet she didn't remember any of the things the Vulcan had shown her...so how could they be true?

"I do not feel well, M'anuk." Nyota said. Her eyes were glazed, and her knees almost buckled. He placed his hands on her waist to steady her. He was now peering at her face.

"You may be suffering from an allergic reaction." he muttered, black eyes narrowed. "This is not good. I did not anticipate that the drug may be incompatible with your physiology."

"What drug?" she asked, her words slurring. The room was starting to spin...she felt weak, and so cold...she had a fever. She felt nauseous. She could feel darkness encroaching on her consciousness...

She collapsed against the _Koshaak_ just as the door to the bedchamber flew open.

________________________________________________________________

The corridors were mostly deserted. The lights had been turned down to a dim glow to conserve energy during the night, throwing the halls into shadow. This was a great asset to the three men now making their way to the heart of the palace.

"If we encounter anyone, don't hesitate to stun them- even if they don't fire first." Kirk hissed as they jogged around a corner.

"Captain, those orders are hardly necessary." Spock replied. He wanted to run full-out, he wanted to leave the two humans behind him- he could run much faster than they- but he could not do that. It would be unwise for him to go ahead alone. He could not afford to do anything that may endanger his Nyota.

They rounded another corner- Spock led them by two meters, traversing the maze-like corridors entirely by memory. He estimated that they were still 8.1 minutes away from their destination- and that was not including any possible disruptions.

Spock made a right- and straight ahead was a Kathosian guard. He was clearly alarmed to see two humans and a Vulcan running toward him- he raised his phaser rifle to fire at them. Without stopping, Spock raised his own weapon and pulled the trigger- a single bolt of light caught the man in the middle of his chest, and he crumpled. Spock leapt over the prone body when he neared him, without stopping.

"I thought you're opposed to violence?" McCoy called breathlessly as they continued to jog.

"He was armed and prepared to fire. As my rifle is set to stun, I do not believe I have caused him permanent damage." Spock replied. His mind was only half on the conversation- he was more concerned about navigating the corridors and getting Nyota away from the _Koshaak_.

They were getting closer. And the closer they got, the more determined Spock became. When they were approximately 4.5 minutes away, he was becoming confident that, if need be, he could kill the _Koshaak_ without hesitation.

Suddenly, from only three meters ahead, two guards came out of an adjoining corridor. Their mouths were opening in wide 'O's of surprise as Spock took one down with a swift phaser shot, and the other was dispatched by Kirk.

"Take that, Kathosian scum." Kirk growled. Spock did not even take the time to raise an eyebrow as he stepped around these bodies and continued smoothly on his way, as if it had not happened.

They did not slow their pace until they neared the final corridor. Spock finally came to a stop, pressed against one white wall, breathing as evenly as he ever did. Kirk and McCoy, however, were panting for breath.

"I suggest you take this time to rest, Captain. Your services may be needed further." Spock said quietly.

"Oh yeah, and I will too- I mean, I know I'm useless and all-" McCoy muttered bitterly.

"Doctor, I do not mean to insult you- but you are nearly useless when it comes to phasers." Spock replied. McCoy's jaw dropped.

"That's because I'm a doctor, not a security guard!" he fussed, but Kirk signaled for him to be quiet.

"Hear anything, Spock?" Kirk asked. They had discussed before setting out the possibility that the _Koshaak_ may have posted guards outside his chambers. That would certainly have been logical, even if problematic.

"No, Captain." Spock replied after listening for several tense seconds. "It appears that he was quite secure, knowing that we were imprisoned- or perhaps he has not yet awoken."

"Well, _someone_ was sure as hell confident, if it wasn't him." McCoy remarked. Spock nodded once in acknowledgment. It had been the _Koshaak'_s arrogance that made him think he could take a Vulcan's wife- and it would be his- or someone else's- arrogance that would be his undoing.

Once his human comrades' breathing had slowed to a normal respiration rate, Spock raised his phaser rifle again and stepped around the corner. As he had already expected, it was entirely empty. Whoever had been in charge after the _Koshaak'_s collapse had been a fool. Granted- they had not known their prisoners would escape- but it would have been wise to guard their ruler a little more closely after the attack.

Spock's heart was pounding as he walked calmly forward. He was entirely composed- this was not Scorpius. He could not lose control this time. It was imperative that he keep his mind in the right place, and did not allow his instincts to overwhelm him- unless they were needed.

The sound of their boots on the stone floor echoed in the passageway. Spock was listening for sounds within the chamber...but with two doors and stone walls separating them, he could hear nothing. His steps began to quicken again, hurrying toward the double doors, until he had broken into a run. He could not wait any longer.

He threw open the double doors, which crashed against the walls, and entered the antechamber. The second door was met with the same treatment- it was nearly ripped off its hinges as Spock slammed it open. He did not stop until he was in the middle of the room. It was empty. He spun on the spot, looking in each corner, listening, _smelling_...there!

He could smell Nyota's natural scent, coming from the direction of the sheer curtains that hung from an open archway. His hands tightened around his phaser rifle as he stepped toward it- but before he could get there, two figures emerged- or rather, one figure carrying another.

He watched with growing hatred and fury as the _Koshaak_ placed Nyota's limp body on the bed.

"_What did you do?_" he snarled. The _Koshaak_ looked at the three men, calculating.

"How did you escape?" he asked. Spock caught the _Koshaak'_s eyes flick toward the rope. Before he could formulate a plan to get to it, Kirk raised his phaser and pulled the trigger- the rope was severed, and dropped to the floor with a muffled _thump_, coiling up like a snake.

"It was quite simple. What is wrong with her?" Spock asked, the previous agitation once more gone from his tone. He could still feel the hate and anger boiling within him- it made his blood run hot, almost molten. It took a great amount of concentration to keep every muscle in his body from leaping upon the _Koshaak_.

"She is suffering from an adverse reaction to the chemical I gave her to make her obedient." the _Koshaak_ said with a shrug. "It _is_ a pity. She will now die...and I will have to find a different woman. It will be difficult to replace her- I can see why even a Vulcan could not resist her charms."

His nonchalant tone was what made Spock snap- not his words, although they contributed a great deal. He _could not_ leave this man unscathed.

Spock tossed his phaser aside. He did not believe in uneven fights- and the _Koshaak_ was not armed.

"Captain- I request that you take Nyota and beam back to the Enterprise. I will join you shortly." Spock said calmly. The _Koshaak _laughed. His apparent mirth did not reach his cold eyes.

"I am well-trained in defense, Vulcan!" he sneered.

"As am I." Spock replied "Captain- go. This is, as humans say, _my_ fight."

"Now listen to me, you stubborn hobgoblin- we're not leaving you!" McCoy snapped.

"Nyota is more important, Doctor. She requires medical attention. You cannot treat her here." Spock replied. He was now slowly advancing on the _Koshaak_, who circled him- both men's legs were bent, arms raised, in the traditional defensive positions of all forms of martial arts.

"Spock, we're not leaving you, damn it!" Kirk said. Both humans were now kneeling by the bed, next to Nyota.

"Go- NOW!" Spock did not usually raise his voice- but he felt it was logical at this time to convey his urgency. He heard Kirk open his communicator and instruct the Enterprise to beam up- and at the same time, the _Koshaak_ lunged forward.

He aimed for Spock's shoulders, attempting to throw him off balance- but Spock was too fast for him. He leapt aside, the _Koshaak_'s own momentum propelling him forward- he was able to stop himself and spin back around. He lunged forward again- this time trying to throw punches to Spock's chest. Again- Spock was too fast. He seized the _Koshaak_ by his shirt, lifting him off his feet and slamming him against a wall. He distinctly heard at least two ribs crack, and the Kathosian grunted, the wind knocked out of him. A trickle of red blood leaked from the corner of his mouth as Spock calmly held him in place- one hand against the _Koshaak_'s throat, steadily applying more pressure.

Suddenly, he felt the _Koshaak_'s knee come up, landing squarely in his stomach. Now Spock was breathless- he instinctively released the man, and backed away two steps to catch his breath.

The Kathosian was on his feet again, much quicker than Spock had anticipated- and launched an attack before he was entirely recovered.

Spock soon found that the _Koshaak_ had not been lying when he said he was well-trained. Despite Spock's greater speed and strength, the Kathosian met his every blow. If he had been fighting Kirk, the captain would have gone down within the first ten seconds of combat.

But he was not Kirk...and unlike the _Koshaak_, he was logical. It soon became apparent that Spock only had two options- either wait until the _Koshaak_ had tired himself out, or outwit him. He preferred the latter.

Spock switched roles abruptly...he was now the attacker. He steadily drove the Kathosian backwards, and with every blow he landed on the _Koshaak_'s shoulders, arms, and chest, he thought about Nyota. That this man may very well be the cause of her death. That he had drugged her, attempted to control her. He had made Nyota forget that she ever loved Spock. There was no knowing whether or not she would ever recover even if she _did_ live. And it would all be because of this Kathosian...who had not expressed even the slightest concern that she may die. She had meant nothing to him...but she meant the world to Spock.

Spock's blows increased in speed and ferocity- his fury was coming to fruition. He did not hate this man- he _despised_ him. He had taken his world and turned it upside down- and now Spock would do the same to his.

With one last powerful blow to the _Koshaak_'s stomach, he was driven backwards again. Spock stepped after him- he felt sheer curtains brush against his face, and cool night air against his skin. They were on the balcony.

The _Koshaak_ spat blood onto the stone beneath his feet. When Spock saw it, a memory- not his own- floated to the surface of his mind. It was an image he had seen in a meld with Nyota...rivulets of blood, dripping down his back, wetting the dirt beneath his feet...the Kathosian was lunging at him again...

Spock flung out his closed fist, striking the Kathosian in the exact center of his chest, using all the strength he could muster...the _Koshaak_ fell backwards against the balcony, his momentum sending him over the railing...there was a fleeting impression of wide black eyes, flailing limbs, a short cry of surprise...and then nothing but the very faint sound of impact against the ground below.

Silence reigned. Spock was breathing slightly harder than normal as he slowly walked to the railing and looked down. Far below, he could make out a still form laying in the shadows of the palace...

He expected to feel revulsion, directed toward himself. He _should_ have...that was what any Vulcan would expect to feel after being an instrument in murder. But instead he felt..._redemption_. It was the same feeling he had had after destroying the Narada- and Nero with it- after his mother's death over three months before.

When Nyota had been abducted on Scorpius Three, he had not been able to avenge her. He had not even been the one to find her- she had been forced to find her own way out of the situation. While it made him admire her determination and independence all the more, it should not have been that way. He should have been there to untie her from that beam, to show the natives just what an angry Vulcan looked like. But he had not been, and he had felt guilty about it ever since.

And so, even though these two situations were unrelated- the death of the _Koshaak_ was redemption for both. If Nyota were to die, he would have killed her killer. And if she lived...he had killed the man who would have allowed her to die without even a flicker of remorse- and could very possibly have damaged her permanently. And in a strange, twisted way, he had redeemed himself for what had happened on Scorpius Three.

Spock must have stared down at the body for several minutes, before he heard faint voices from below. Guards were gathering around the body of the _Koshaak_...he heard cries of surprise, of anger, of dismay. He saw them look up...they had seen him. He pushed himself away from the railing, and turned back toward the bedchamber- he would have to hurry if he wanted to beam up before guards arrived.

He stopped short when he saw two men looking at him from the bed.

"I believe I instructed you to leave." Spock said, frustrated even if he did not show it.

"We tried to beam up. We couldn't. I think it's the stone- somehow it disrupts the-" Kirk began.

"Then why did you not take Nyota and head for the grounds?" Spock asked.

"I believe _I_ am the captain." Kirk said irritably. Spock blinked- he must regain control of himself. "I thought it would be best to use the balcony. However...it was a bit...occupied." Kirk exchanged looks with McCoy, who was scanning Nyota with his medical tricorder. There was a tense silence. While Spock had not been ashamed of what had happened on the balcony- after all, it had been self-defense- he _was_ ashamed that they had seen him like that. Instead of replying, he went to Nyota's side, stroking her face.

"Nyota?" he asked softly. She did not stir. He looked up at McCoy.

"She's running a high fever...and her organs are starting to shut down. We need to get her on the Enterprise _immediately_." McCoy said, turning off the tricorder. "I can keep her on life support until the drug wears off...or I find an antidote. It's working like a poison on her...a very slow poison."

Spock slid one arm underneath Nyota's back, the other under her knees. He lifted her off the bed, and her head lolled onto his shoulder. Her whole body was limp and hot.

"We must hurry. I am sure guards are coming." Spock replied. "We are wasting time."

He headed to the balcony, Nyota's hot weight light in his arms. McCoy and Kirk followed. As Kirk opened his communicator, Spock heard footsteps in the outer hall. It did not matter now...they would be gone by the time they arrived on the balcony.

He felt himself beginning to dematerialize, and he closed his eyes, holding Nyota even tighter against him. They were leaving Kathosia for good.

_____________________________________________________________

He immediately took her to medical, McCoy following him at a sprint. Nurses were gasping and gathering around as he lowered Nyota onto a biobed.

"This isn't a holo-vid...if you're not helping, get the hell out!" McCoy snapped as he began to ready fever-suppressing hypos. Spock backed away to allow him to work, not taking his eyes off of Nyota for even a second. The doctor injected her with hypo after hypo...and her vital signs began to slowly even out- although they were still far from normal.

Kirk watched as Spock sat in a chair next to Nyota's bed, and took her hand into his. He looked away, as if he had witnessed a kiss instead of a simple gesture like that...

McCoy was looking up at the vital signs displayed on the biobed's screen. He winced and slowly shook his head.

"Spock...the suppressants won't work long. And they won't save her unless I find an antidote. The toxin isn't leaving her system like it should."

"What do you propose, Doctor?" Spock asked quietly, his eyes still on his _adun'a_. "That I allow her to die?" he said the last words almost bitterly.

"Of course not." McCoy scolded. "But....our only chance is if I can miraculously discover an antidote. I don't even fully understand the chemicals...I don't think I'll be able to make a cure in time..."

Spock tore his eyes away from Nyota's impassive face. He looked at McCoy.

"Doctor McCoy...I have the utmost confidence in your abilities. If there is anyone I believe able to create that antidote, it is you."

McCoy looked both startled and flattered. "Does that translate from Vulcan into Standard as 'if you fail, I'll kick your ass'?"

"You may interpret it however you please, Doctor, as long as it motivates you." Spock replied dryly. He turned back to Nyota. "I do have extensive knowledge of the properties of chemicals. I will assist you if it will speed up your progress."

"That would be...fine." McCoy said. He heaved a sigh. "We should get to work immediately. I'll have one of the nurses give her the hypos...then I'll upload the data in my tricorder onto the laboratory computer. But, Spock...I can't guarantee that even if she lives..."

"I am aware of that fact, Doctor. I am willing to take the risk that she may still be damaged."

McCoy didn't say anything. He and Kirk watched as Spock leaned forward, bringing his lips level to Nyota's ear as one of his hands caressed her cheek gently. The others could not hear what he then whispered.

"_Taluhk nash-veh k'dular, Nyota. Dungau-sarlah nash-veh_." I cherish thee...I shall come...

He then brushed his lips against her temple. He did not care that several nurses saw this. He no longer cared if everyone knew. The only thing that mattered was making that antidote so his Nyota would live. As for what he may find upon her awakening...he must worry about that later.

He stood, straightening his uniform shirt. He did not take notice of the fact that both Kirk and McCoy were pointedly looking away...Kirk decided that if seeing Spock hold Nyota's hand was like catching them kissing, then what he had just witnessed was tantamount to watching them make love.

"We have no time to waste, Doctor." Spock said, his tone as even and controlled as ever. Nothing betrayed the fear residing deep within him. The fear that Nyota would die...the fear that she would never remember how much they meant to one another...

McCoy nodded, and turned toward the doors off sickbay that led to the laboratory. Spock followed him, walking past several stunned nurses, once more determined...

**A/N: Oooh...kind of a cliffhanger, huh? ;)** **Some of you may disagree that Spock wouldn't feel guilty about killing the **_**Koshaak**_**...but I don't think so, considering the circumstances.  
**


	13. Alleviation

**A/N: Warning: really bad science coming up. I'm not a chemist, okay? If you are, I'm sorry for completely botching reality.**

**Chapter 13: Alleviation**

The laboratory was silent as they worked. Spock stood before the computer, studying the breakdown of the chemical composition...he had never seen anything like it. There were so many unknown components...but they had to try. He concentrated with his whole mind on this task.

McCoy stood two meters away from him, looking at a readout. His brow was furrowed as he muttered to himself.

"Damn Kathosian...bastard...I swear, if she..."

"Doctor, you are distracting me." Spock said, his tone uncharacteristically annoyed.

"Spock, we've been working for six hours. We haven't made any progress."

"I am currently waiting for the computer to finish breaking down the chemical. Once that is done, all we need to do is locate the particular element that is causing Nyota's reaction."

"Yeah...and then somehow create a counter-agent." McCoy said. He sighed, tossing his readouts onto the counter. "I don't want to discourage you, Spock. But...this isn't looking too good."

"You have a propensity for thinking negatively when the occasion does not call for it, Dr. McCoy. In the amount of time we have known one another, you have always managed to salvage the situation."

"Don't you think it would be logical, considering the odds, to have some doubts about this?" McCoy asked.

"I do have doubts, Doctor. I will not acknowledge them at this time." Spock replied, still looking hard at the computer screen before him. "As Nyota would say...we must retain hope."

McCoy didn't say anything about this entirely un-Spock-like comment, but it made him pity the Vulcan even more. Even _he _could cling to something so illogical as hope at a time like this...

Spock's determination gave McCoy renewed hope. If a Vulcan could hope, so could he. He picked up the readouts again, perusing the complex chemical equations. There _had_ to be some way to locate the toxin and counteract it before it was too late...but time was running out.

After another half hour, McCoy left to check on Uhura. Her vitals were still abnormal, and slowly deteriorating, despite the hypos. McCoy guessed that she didn't have much time left...he didn't plan to tell Spock, but when he returned from the exam, Spock inquired about it. As her husband, he had every right to know.

"Has her condition worsened?" he asked, still not taking his eyes off of the screen before him.

"Some." McCoy replied, and hesitated before continuing. "Spock...if we don't get an antidote ready in four hours..."

There was no need for him to continue. Spock nodded once, and leaned closer to the computer.

Four hours...it was not much time. But Spock couldn't bear the thought of standing idly by and letting her die. He knew there was a way...he just had to find it.

The laboratory was entirely silent while they continued to work. The computer finally finished breaking down the chemical equation, and both Spock and McCoy sat at a counter to look through the readouts...looking for just one thing...

They found it at the same time. Spock's eyebrow shot up, and McCoy's eyes widened. They looked up at each other.

"It looks like a distant cousin of Amatoxin." McCoy said.

"Terran Amatoxin takes several days. It slowly shuts down the liver and kidneys...however, the victim usually remains conscious." Spock replied.

"I said it was a _distant_ cousin. Use those pointed ears, Spock." McCoy retorted. "It has a few similarities to Amatoxin, is what I'm trying to say. Which will make our job a little easier."

They wasted no time in starting to form an equation for an antidote. One hour passed...then two...

"I think we finally have it." McCoy said, stepping away from the counter. Before him sat a beaker full of red liquid. He and Spock both stared at it for a moment. This could very well be what saved Nyota...or sped up her death.

"You should administer it immediately, Doctor." Spock replied, reaching for the hypo resting beside the beaker and preparing to fill it. McCoy reached out and plucked the hypo from his fingers.

"We can't! We need to test it on something first! Even if it doesn't work against the poison, I want to make sure it isn't dangerous by itself!"

"And who do you suggest we try it on?" Spock asked coolly. "There is only enough for one dose. Doctor, if the antidote is incorrect, we will not have time to reevaluate our results. As Nyota is dying, it is only logical to give this to her now. If there is something wrong with it, she will have died anyway. I am fully prepared to take the risk...I am eighty-one percent sure that this antidote will work."

They had a brief staring contest. After several tense seconds, McCoy sighed and lowered his eyes. "You're her husband...you make the decision."

Spock took the hypo back and filled it. He stared at the red liquid swirling inside it, until McCoy took it from him.

"Come on, Spock." he said quietly, placing a hand on Spock's shoulder. Usually, Spock would not allow this...but right now, he barely noticed it.

He followed the doctor out into sickbay. It was nearly deserted now...except for two nurses in the far corner, the only occupant lay on a biobed. Spock took his seat next to Nyota, noting that her normally-vibrant skin had a gray tinge to it. He slipped his hand into hers, as he had earlier, and McCoy leaned over the bed, injecting the untested antidote into her neck.

"Now all we can do is wait." McCoy said. He glanced at the two nurses in the corner, who were watching Spock closely- they could clearly see him holding Nyota's hand. "I'll set up the privacy curtains." he added, and moved to do so. Soon Spock was alone with his _ashayam_- or at least as alone as he could be.

He shifted the chair even closer to the bed, now holding her hand in both of his. If she awoke...no, _when_ she awoke...he was determined to be there for her. He raised her cold hand to his lips and kissed it softly.

He watched her vitals. They did not drop- which meant that the antidote had presented no immediate dangers. But they weren't rising, either...

Spock was only vaguely aware when McCoy returned. He stood at the foot of the bed, also watching the screen, arms folded. Several minutes passed before he spoke.

"You know, Spock...I guess I don't know you as well as I thought I did." he said quietly. Spock glanced at him, but McCoy was still staring at the screen.

"Likewise, Dr. McCoy." Spock replied. There was another brief silence. "Doctor...even if it does not work...I must thank you. You have saved Nyota's life before, and have put forth all of your efforts to save her again. I am grateful."

McCoy looked at Spock, eyebrows rising high on his forehead. "Spock, you put forth more effort than anybody...both on Scorpius, and on Kathosia- and even now. I know I once said I don't understand why Uhura would choose you...but now I know. There's more to you than logic and precise calculations."

Spock looked back at Nyota's still form. Sometime in the last several hours, one of the nurses had changed her out of the golden dress and into a standard hospital gown. He reached over to smooth her hair away from her face.

"She always knew that. That is why..." he paused. He had almost admitted his love for Nyota to Dr. McCoy...although it must have been obvious, he didn't want to say the words to someone other than her.

"Look." McCoy said, pointing at the screen. Spock looked up at it, and his breath caught in his throat. Nyota's temperature was evening out, the functionality of her organs returning to normal...

"It worked." McCoy said, a grin spreading across his face for a moment. Then it slowly faded. "Now...we wait for her to wake up. It may be a few hours."

Spock bowed his head. McCoy didn't need to say anything further. Now that he knew Nyota would live...the question was...would she remember him?

_____________________________________________________

McCoy had drawn up a chair on the other side of the bed. Spock still held Nyota's hand in both of his, not caring that it was a display of affection. They did not speak, they did not look at one another. The only sounds in the otherwise empty medical bay were the soft beeps of her monitor.

An hour into their silent vigil, Kirk joined them. He didn't speak a word as he drew a chair up, sitting at the foot of the bed. Nyota was now surrounded by them- Spock on her right, McCoy on her left, and Kirk straight ahead. She would not wake up alone.

Spock knew he could attempt to access the link to check the state of her mind...but he was afraid to. The last thing he wanted was to again encounter that darkness, that impenetrable fog. He was not at all sure that he would be able to handle it. It would be easier to wait until she was awake...

He noted that she no longer looked gray. He could even see the very faint tint of pink under the light brown skin. He watched her closed eyes, willing them to open...yet dreading that inevitable moment at the same time. He felt queasy...what if she didn't remember anything, and still believed herself to love the _Koshaak_? What would he do then? Would either of them ever recover? The same questions whirled through his mind, over and over again...

He squeezed her hand gently, closing his own eyes. The anticipation, the dread, was almost too much for him. But he had to withstand it...for her.

Another hour passed in silence after Kirk's arrival. Finally...Nyota's eyelids twitched. All three men immediately leaned forward in their seats, holding their breath. Her eyelids fluttered open, and her dark brown eyes looked dazed. She looked around at each of the men watching her, her gaze falling on Spock last, and remaining there for several long seconds. Spock met the eyes he knew so well, hoping....hoping...

She turned her head to look at McCoy. "Is waking up in sickbay going to be a common occurrence every time I go on away missions?" she asked. Three breaths were audibly exhaled in relief. Kirk and McCoy grinned, and Spock squeezed Nyota's hand gently. She squeezed back, and looked over at him, a small smile curving those full lips. He desired to kiss her, but didn't want to do so in front of the others.

"What happened?" she asked. Spock looked up and met Kirk's gaze briefly.

"What do you remember, Nyota?" Spock asked, looking back down at her. She frowned slightly, biting her bottom lip as she struggled to remember.

"We'd just had dinner at the _Koshaak_'s palace. And I was taken to his chambers...I remember him asking me to stay with him on Kathosia...and that's it. The rest is just...blank." Nyota replied. "Why? Spock, what happened? How long ago was that?"

"That was approximately eleven hours ago, Nyota." Spock replied. "The _Koshaak_ drugged you to make you stay. We had to...rescue you."

"You rescued me?" Nyota was smiling again, the sparkle returning to her eyes as she looked at him.

"The captain and Dr. McCoy assisted me." Spock replied.

"Don't be modest, Spock- you did most of the work." Kirk said with a smile.

"Well, what happened to the _Koshaak_?" Nyota asked. Kirk's smile faltered, although she did not see it, and Spock's eyes slid away from hers, to stare at their interlaced fingers. No one answered her question. After a tense silence, it seemed that she had her answer. She took in a deep breath and changed the subject.

"How long do I have to be in medical, Bones?" she asked McCoy.

"I want to keep you for observation. The drug the _Koshaak _gave you contained an amount of a certain chemical that, while not toxic to Kathosians, is obviously deadly to us. Spock and I had to mix up an antidote for it. So needless to say...you've been poisoned. I'm keeping you for at least a full twenty-four hours."

"Well, that's better than three days." Nyota said with a shrug. "And I don't remember anything that happened, so I suppose I won't be traumatized."

"You will not be alone this time." Spock said so quietly that only she could hear. Her smiled widened, showing a glimmer of pearly-white teeth.

"I know." she replied. For the first time in hours, Spock reached across the link...she accepted him, and he entered the familiar mind. She was sending him love and gratitude, but he could also sense her exhaustion and weakness.

"Maybe we should leave these two alone now, Jim." McCoy said, noticing the look the couple was exchanging. Their eyes were riveted on each other's. He didn't think they even realized they were not alone.

The two left, and Spock was finally alone with her. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against hers, drawing away before kissing her again...he continued to plant little kisses on her lips, making her laugh.

"_K'diwa_, what are you doing?" she asked, raking her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. He felt her amusement.

"I almost lost you." Spock replied, leaning his forehead against hers. Her smile faded away.

"What do you mean? Was I that close to dying?" she asked, and he felt her concern...not for herself, but for him.

"You came very close." Spock replied, pulling away to look at her face. He decided that he would wait until she asked to show her everything that had happened...because he knew she would, eventually.

"So you rescued me. And then helped Dr. McCoy make an antidote. You're my hero, Mr. Spock." she smiled as she said this, and pulled him in for another kiss. As she did, her arm pressed against a certain spot on his abdomen, and he sucked in a sharp breath, drawing away. Her brow furrowed as she lifted his shirt...revealing several large, dark green bruises. She ran her cool fingers over them. "Looks like you've been in quite a fight." she said quietly. She rested her hand against his heart and looked up at him.

"I was." Spock replied, and leaned forward to kiss her again, her lips supple as they moved under his. He breathed in her scent, so grateful for the fact that she remembered him...and didn't remember what had transpired the night before. She was still his.

___________________________________________________________

He did not leave her bedside for longer than five minutes at a time. Kirk had excused him from his duties- actually, he had _insisted _that Spock stay in sickbay- which left him with more than enough time.

"Well, would you prefer to be on the bridge right now?" Nyota asked. She was sitting up, eating ice cream out of a bowl that rested on her lap. Although not part of her recommended diet, she had insisted that Spock get her some from the rec area. He had gotten several peculiar looks for walking around with ice cream, but he had not been able to resist her.

"I am where I should be." Spock replied, evading the question neatly. Although he loved Nyota very much, and did want to be here, he thought it illogical to be present when she clearly did not need him for anything other than ice cream runs. He would, at least, be of use on the bridge. They had left Kathosia far behind now, and would arrive in the Rigel system in a week.

She set the empty bowl to the side, and settled back onto her pillow. He could tell by the glint in her eye that she was about to ask him something. He braced himself.

"Why do you think the _Koshaak _wanted me so badly he was willing to drug me into staying?" she asked, her eyes not leaving his. Spock clasped his hands together before him.

"I have a theory." Spock replied.

"Well, what is it? Because ninety-nine percent of the time, your theories are correct." Nyota said. Spock rose an eyebrow, which she smirked at.

"I believe the correct percentage is eighty-four." Spock replied. "And my theory is that the _Koshaak_ wanted you for two reasons."

"And?" Nyota turned onto her side, propping her head on her hand, watching him expectantly.

"The first...he somehow knew about us, and as we already know, he disliked Vulcans. Apparently because a Vulcan diplomat failed to adequately compliment his ancestor's art collection. He saw you as a challenge, because he knew you belonged to a Vulcan. Perhaps he did it only to spite me."

Nyota nodded her head slowly. "Sounds perfectly logical to me. What's the second reason?"

"The _Koshaak_ was looking for a mate. He was obviously spoiled and would take nothing less than the best. He was charmed by your beauty, and like all men who always get their way, he was determined to make you his. When you refused to yield, he resorted to more forceful means."

They were silent for a while, contemplating his words. Then Nyota spoke again.

"Spock...what exactly happened? I know you're holding something back." Nyota said. Spock stood from the chair, and sat on the edge of the bed. She moved over to make room for him, and he adjusted himself so that he sat against the pillows with his arms around her.

"What he gave you was no ordinary drug." Spock replied. "Shall I show you what happened?"

She took his hand and pressed his fingers against her temples.

"Yes, Spock. Show me." she said.

He did. He showed her everything. And when it was over, he pulled out of the meld to find that she was crying softly against him.

"So much pain." she murmured against him. Spock immediately regretted showing everything to her, and she felt it over the link. "I'm not crying because I regret seeing all this, Spock. I'm crying because you couldn't when you were hurting the most. I'm crying because you had to see me like that, had to hear me say those things. I'm crying because you killed for me, and that is the biggest sacrifice you could ever make. I'm crying for _your_ pain, not mine."

Spock closed his eyes and stroked her hair. Soon, her tears were gone and they sat in silence, arms around each other. She was burrowed against his chest.

"I'm glad I don't remember any of it." she said after awhile. "The only reminder I have is that dress." she moved her head in the direction of the golden dress that still lay folded on top of a nearby table. "I'd like to destroy it." she added. Spock placed a finger under her chin, turning her face up to his.

"If you would like...once you are sufficiently recovered, you could wear it one last time...and I could assist you in destroying it."

She stared at him in disbelief for a second, and then she smiled...soon she was chuckling.

"You know what? That's not a bad idea. There's no better way to destroy an article of clothing." she said with grin.

______________________________________________________

It was three days later...and they were in Kirk's quarters- Kirk, Spock and McCoy. Nyota had been invited, but she had turned them down- she was working with Remaja again.

"Does she still not remember anything?" McCoy asked Spock, looking down into his brandy.

"No, Doctor. She does not." Spock replied. "That is for the best, I believe." There was a short silence.

"Spock, I heard that you requested two weeks' leave for New Vulcan. And Uhura just did, too." Kirk said. Spock met his stare.

"That is correct." he replied. "We have unfinished business there in regards to our marriage."

"Well, permission for your shore leave should come through tomorrow- I sent in a recommendation." Kirk said. "So we'll be able to drop you off on New Vulcan on our way to Rigel."

"Thank you, Captain." Spock replied. Kirk sighed.

"It's _Jim_, Spock. Call me _Jim_." he said, exasperated. McCoy smirked.

"Good luck getting through that thick Vulcan skull, Jim." McCoy said. Spock rose an eyebrow...he had found that after the events on Kathosia, he did not mind McCoy's 'teasing' so much. Nyota was correct- it was a form of expression in male friendships. He had found McCoy to be trustworthy...and although his friendship with him was drastically different from the one he shared with Kirk, it was still a friendship.

"What will you do on New Vulcan, Spock?" Kirk asked, ignoring McCoy.

"We will complete the marriage rituals that we did not observe when we married." Spock replied.

"What do you mean? You _eloped_?" McCoy asked, still smirking.

"Yes, Doctor- as a matter of fact, we did. We must now make amends." Spock replied.

"Let's hope you don't run into any trouble on New Vulcan. The two of you deserve a break." Kirk said.

"Wait a minute- you actually _eloped_?" McCoy asked, gesturing for Kirk to be quiet. "Doesn't that mean you acted _illogically_?"

Thankfully, at that moment, Spock felt Nyota through the link. She was done working for the day, and she was in his quarters, waiting for him....wearing the golden dress. Spock stood.

"Captain, I must go. I have business elsewhere." he said, trying to ignore the images Nyota was now sending him. Kirk and McCoy exchanged amused smiles.

"I think the wife just called him." McCoy said. "I remember what _that's_ like. What did you do to get into trouble, Spock?"

"I assure you, she is not angry- or anything of the kind. I will see you on the bridge tomorrow, Jim." Spock said, and left.

"If she's not angry, I don't even _want _to imagine why he's in such a hurry to leave." he heard McCoy say after the door slid closed behind him. Spock suppressed a smirk as he walked down the corridor...heading down two halls to his own quarters. He keyed in his access code and entered- to find Nyota lying on her side on his bed, smiling seductively.

"That was quite unnecessary." Spock said, even as he took off his boots, not taking his eyes off of her.

"Maybe not, but it sure made you hurry up." Nyota said, grinning. "Come here, my _adun_."

He obeyed, resting his hands on her waist, kissing her. Her tongue flicked out to lick his bottom lip teasingly. She pulled him onto the bed, on top of her, and he growled, low, in her ear before biting her ear lobe. His hands found the front of her gown...Nyota heard a ripping sound, and smiled as she felt cool air on her body.

An hour later, they lay together in a tangle of limbs, still breathing heavily. Strips of gold fabric littered the bed and floor...they had effectively destroyed the Kathosian dress. Nyota propped herself up on an elbow and grinned down at Spock.

"And we still have our honeymoon on New Vulcan to look forward to." she remarked. Spock pulled her back down to him.

"Until then, there is still tonight." he said in a low voice, and kissed her.

**A/N: Whoo! They really did a number on that dress ;) I knew I had to end the chapter on a happy note...but there will be angst-free chapters ahead!**


	14. Enticement

**A/N: I've decided to give them a nice little break, so the next few chapters will be **_**relatively**_** calm ;)**

**Chapter 14: Enticement**

Nyota looked discretely over at Spock. He was standing, bent over at the science station. She admired the view of his lean body for a moment, until he looked over at her. She smirked and turned back to her console.

This was their last shift on the bridge until they returned from New Vulcan. They would be getting off at the same time, in an hour. Then Nyota wanted to start packing, even though they weren't expected to drop out of warp until 0800 hours the next day. She wanted to fit in one last session with Remaja, and it would take up her evening.

It had, thankfully, been an uneventful day. She had not received or intercepted a single transmission in almost eight hours. There was no one in this stretch of space but them.

_"Tedium is far more preferable to danger." _Spock commented. Nyota bit back a smile. They had kept their minds open to one another continuously ever since their return from Kathosia five days before. They hadn't kept the link open for such a long amount of time before, and sometimes Nyota forgot that he could hear her thoughts. It did have its advantages, though...

_"And please refrain from erotic thoughts." _he added. _"It is distracting."_

Nyota bit her lip harder to contain her laughter. Well, boredom did make one's mind wander...

She focused on listening to the silence of space. Other than the occasional crackle of natural subspace chatter, there was nothing. When she was a cadet at the academy, she had imagined life aboard a starship to be exciting- but other than her experiences with away missions, the days usually passed uneventfully. And from what Spock had told her, Kirk had decided to restrict her from any future away missions (although, Spock himself may have had something to do with that decision), unless there were no sentient beings on the planet. And if there were no sentient beings, she would be useless. Which meant that she would only get off the ship for shore leaves- and only then when the planet was uninhabited. She was both relieved and disappointed by this. Communications officers rarely got to visit planets, anyway...now she wouldn't get to at all.

She was now frowning slightly as she stared at the screen before her. It seemed she would be stuck at her station for five whole years...and everyone else on the bridge would get the chance to get away. Kirk, Spock, McCoy, even Chekov and Sulu. All because of two men who had wanted her...the native chieftain, and the _Koshaak_.

Did she regret the fact that Spock had killed him? She knew _he_ didn't...not really. He was ashamed that his control had slipped, and that McCoy and the captain had seen...but for the actual murder, he harbored no guilt. Nyota had always been firmly against violence before...but the _Koshaak_ had had every intention of making her believe that she loved him. He had wanted to take her from Spock, to take her as his against her will. She would have died. It had been logical for Spock to eliminate the threat...even if the danger was already over when he did it.

The captain had already submitted the official report for Kathosia, disclosing the _Koshaak_'s death during their struggle to escape. As far as Starfleet Command knew, the _Koshaak_ had poisoned Nyota and tried to prevent them from leaving. Spock was safe from any legal action against him- Kirk had made sure of that, for which Nyota would be eternally grateful.

She didn't blame Spock _or_ the captain for not wanting her part of any more away teams. Two incidents in the space of two months was just too much. She really _was _glad that she didn't remember anything that had happened on Kathosia...hadn't she been through enough already, on Scorpius? Away missions were dangerous for women. Males on other planets had different views on women than humans did. They saw them as possessions that they must acquire- this would not be true for all of them, but it would still be wise to practice caution in the future.

She was looking forward to being on New Vulcan, even if it _did _mean being surrounded by cold, logical Vulcans. She wanted to be able to spend time with her new husband, unhindered by the dangers that living on a starship presented. And she knew Spock was looking forward to it, too.

Nyota concentrated on the frequencies, until she saw Spock stand out of the corner of her eye. She glanced at the time...exactly 1800 hours. She took out her earpiece and picked up the PADD that held her closing report- not that there was really anything to report. She approached the command chair, where Spock stood before the captain.

"Requesting dismissal, sir." Nyota said, holding out the PADD for him to sign.

"I'm going to miss you two on the bridge." Kirk said as he took it from her and initialed it.

"We will only be absent for fourteen days, Captain." Spock replied. "I am sure that, in that amount of time, the work I have done here to instill logic in my colleagues will not be entirely undone."

Nyota and Kirk both grinned at that.

"I'll be in the transporter room to see you two off tomorrow." Kirk said, handing the PADD back. "Both of you are dismissed."

They entered the turbolift together, not speaking until the doors slid shut.

"I have contacted my father to inform him of our imminent arrival." Spock said, keeping his eyes focused on the doors before him.

"Where will we be staying? I'm sure the Vulcans haven't been able to completely rebuild their homes in three months."

"They have built temporary homes. We will stay in my father's for the first week. After that, we will retire to a cave together for the second week. It will be readied for us in advance, and will contain all we may need."

"Our own little honeymoon cave." Nyota said, smiling dreamily. "With no one around to hear us for miles...for a whole week. Are you sure you're ready for that, _Commander_?"

"I believe the question should be...are _you_?" Spock asked, arching an eyebrow, the corners of his lips tugging up in a 'non-smile'. He accompanied this challenge with a stream of very erotic images that made Nyota suddenly feel very warm. His impertinence surprised her so much that when the doors opened and he left the lift, she was immobile for at least ten seconds. Then she hurried out of the lift to catch up with him.

As they walked side by side down the corridor, Nyota noticed several crew members watching them, whispering. Spock stared straight ahead, but she knew that he was aware of the eyes upon them. He had told her about the nurses in sickbay who had seen his displays of affection, and they both had known that those nurses would gossip...but the results still made them uncomfortable. Stares followed them everywhere they went- especially when they were together- and rumors circulated. Some of which were the truth...such as the rumor that they were married. But some were just downright ridiculous- such as the one that they met up in turbolifts for 'quickies'. As if _Spock_ would ever consent to that...

It didn't help any that Spock walked with her all the way to her quarters, and followed her inside- with at least six people watching. As the door slid closed, Nyota was sure that even now they were rushing to tell their friends what they had just seen.

"I really can't wait to get to New Vulcan." Nyota said with a sigh as she crossed to her closet and retrieved her duffel bag. "How many changes of clothes do you think I'll need?"

"You will be supplied with Vulcan clothing upon our arrival. And I do not believe you will need any clothing at all in the cave...you will only need something to wear back to the Enterprise."

Nyota looked over her shoulder at him with a mischievous smile. "No clothes at all in the cave?"

"I could even go so far as to say that I prohibit them." he said. He stood with his hands clasped behind his back, his face as expressionless as ever. His apparent calm, combined with his words, made her warm all over. She knew that he felt it, and when she turned back to the closet he came up behind her, placing his hands on her waist. He began to press hot, slow kisses on the side of her neck. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she enjoyed his attentions for a few seconds before turning to face him. His eyes were smoldering as she looked up into them. It took all of her self-control to say what she said next.

"Not right now, _k'diwa_. I still have to go see Remaja."

"It cannot wait?" he asked, his voice low, his eyes still boring into hers. She licked her lips slowly, and took a deep breath. He was now sending her more images...

_"Two can play at that game,"_ she thought. He slowly rose an eyebrow.

"What game?" he asked. Nyota stood on her tiptoes, kissing him, sucking gently on his bottom lip before stepping back. They were no longer touching, and she felt his puzzlement.

"We're not getting intimate right now...or even tonight." This was payback for his teasing her on the lift. Now both eyebrows rose.

"You do realize that we will hardly be alone on New Vulcan until we are escorted to the cave?" he asked. Nyota smirked.

"Yes." she replied. "We should wait until then."

The fire was gone from his eyes, and he was now looking at her, calculating.

"You are sure that you possess such patience?"

"I think the correct question here is...do _you_?" Nyota asked, still smirking. He tilted his head.

"I am Vulcan." was his only reply.

"A Vulcan with human needs." she corrected him, and walked past him, making sure to brush against him as she made her way to the duffel bag.

"You are purposefully enticing me...yet you refuse to allow either of us to give in. This behavior is illogical, Nyota."

"Maybe...but it should make the next week _very_ interesting...and when we're finally in the cave..." she grinned at him over her shoulder, making sure to bend over the duffel bag enough for her skirt to ride up, revealing the red briefs that she wore under her uniform for a modicum of modesty. "Like you said, we're not going to be alone very much on New Vulcan, anyway. Think of tonight as practice."

She knew he was still watching her, and she felt his disbelief at her proposal. He really did think she was being illogical.

"I understand your reasoning for practice. But I do _not_ understand why you are...teasing me." he said. She smiled to herself as she added a change of clothes to the bag and began to pack other things she may need.

"Because teasing will make us appreciate it all the more when we're finally together again." Nyota said. "Like I said, it will make things more interesting."

"I do not see how tempting me will make the situation 'interesting'." Spock replied dryly. "If we cannot give in to the temptation."

"Exactly." Nyota said, beaming as she turned around to face him. "The situation is beyond our control, which means we_ can't_ give in. Which, in effect, means we can tease each other as much as we like. Humans call it 'heightened anticipation'."

Spock looked at her, contemplating.

"If you are allowed to tempt me, it is logical to assume that it goes both ways." he said slowly. She nodded.

"You're starting to get it."

He was quiet again. Then, suddenly, he came toward her, gathering her up into his arms, kissing her as passionately as he ever had. She gasped in surprise against his lips, but closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him. His touch was everywhere...his warmth encompassing her...maybe they wouldn't bother with temptation after all...

Just as abruptly as he had kissed her, he pulled away, leaving her wide-eyed and breathless.

"Then...as you said...two can play at that game." he said in a low voice. Then he turned and left, the doors swishing closed behind him. She stared disbelievingly after him.

_"You're _so _going to pay for that!" _she thought after him. He did not reply, but she felt his amusement. Yes, this next week was going to be _very _interesting...

_________________________________________________________

She was still flustered when she sat down to begin her session with Remaja. Ten minutes in, she was forced to close the link for the first time in five days, because Spock was relentlessly sending her a flow of thoughts and images that made her clear her throat and shift in her seat uncomfortably. She hadn't expected him to be _this_ good at the temptation game. She had a feeling he was trying to teach her a lesson...and he was doing it very well.

Once the link was closed, she was able to focus- she was even able to forget about the game she had so foolishly just started.

Nyota flipped through the pictures on her PADD, easing into their usual routine. She really did enjoy these times with Remaja. It was now almost two months into their work...in another two months, she would be turned over to someone else. That was the only part about going to New Vulcan that she didn't like...it was taking two weeks out of her work that could be detrimental. Besides that, she knew the woman got lonely. Nyota was the only person to visit her regularly, and every time she walked through the door, Remaja visibly brightened.

She had already asked Janice Rand and Nurse Chapel to visit her every so often while she was away, and to make sure that Remaja had plenty of holo-vids to keep her busy. But she knew that Remaja wouldn't be pleased about her shore leave. Nyota hadn't told her yet.

Nyota flipped to a picture of a cloud, and Remaja said the name in her language. Nyota stated the correct term in Standard- which Remaja repeated. It was a cycle that they were both accustomed to. Nyota flipped to the next picture- this time, it was of a dark-skinned little girl holding a flower. It was actually a picture of one of Nyota's cousins. Remaja stared at it for a long time, and Nyota was surprised when she saw tears in her eyes.

"Remaja?" she asked, touching her arm gently. The woman looked at her, a tear escaping to fall slowly down one chocolate-colored cheek.

"She look like my Tyani." she said, looking back at the picture. "Can I have it?"

"Tyani? Is that a name?" Nyota asked, intrigued.

"Yes. Name." Remaja said. Her English had improved dramatically in just two months- both from her sessions with Nyota, and from watching holo-vids almost constantly. "My daughter." she added.

Nyota stared at Remaja, speechless. She rarely told Nyota anything about herself- and now she had found out that the woman across from her had a daughter.

"You have a daughter?" Nyota asked softly.

"Dead." Remaja now said. "Three year-cycles."

The room was silent for a full minute. Remaja was staring at the PADD again. Nyota watched her, biting her lip, her own eyes filling with tears. She couldn't fully understand Remaja's pain, since she didn't have any children, but she could certainly imagine it. She could imagine what it would be like to lose her and Spock's child...they hadn't even discussed children yet, and she knew they wouldn't have any for at least several years, but the idea of losing a child...

"I will get a copy of it for you." Nyota said gently. She didn't inquire further into the matter. She was purposefully holding off on any talk between them about anything personal...she was saving that for when they could actually have a conversation in fluent Standard. Which, she knew, wouldn't be too long now. She was almost afraid to learn anything more about what had happened on Scorpius.

"Thank you, Nyota-friend." Remaja said quietly, and brushed her tears away. "_Ya-tu_. Child. Now next."

They continued, the mood definitely more somber than it had been before. And when their session was over, Nyota knew she was about to make it worse. She stood slowly, putting the PADD away in its carrying case.

"Remaja, I will be gone for two weeks- fourteen days." Nyota said slowly. Remaja's eyes snapped onto her.

"Why? Where you go?" she asked, and Nyota winced at the desperation in her tone. She thought about how to phrase this.

"Do you know what 'wedding' means?" she asked. Remaja nodded vigorously.

"Husband. Wife." she said. "You are being wedded?"

"Well...yes." she decided to keep it simple. No need to explain about the eloping thing. "Spock and I..." she trailed off. Did Remaja even know who Spock was?

"Spock? Ears?" she said, pointing at her ears and frowning as she gestured to show pointed ears. Nyota almost laughed.

"Yes. That's Spock." she said.

"He's mean." she said. Nyota blinked.

"Spock's not mean." she replied.

"Never smiles." she said. "Not good couple."

Nyota bit her lip. She sensed that Remaja was somehow jealous. "Spock is a good man." she said. "I love him."

Remaja studied her for a moment. "Fine. Marry Ears. But stay."

"I can't." Nyota said, shaking her head. "I'm so sorry, Remaja...but I can't. I've already asked Nurse Chapel and Janice to come by..."

"I will be alone." Remaja now looked wounded. Nyota heaved a deep sigh.

"I know. I'm sorry."

Remaja folded her arms, yellow eyes lowered to the table. She looked sad. Nyota reached over to place her hand over hers.

"When I come back, I'll be here even more than before. I promise." Nyota said. Remaja met her eyes again, and nodded.

"Fine. Goodbye, Nyota." Nyota noticed that she left off the 'friend' part, and she sighed.

"Bye, Remaja." she said, and left.

_____________________________________________________

She was lonely when she went to bed. She hadn't spent a night without Spock in so long...and the session with Remaja had been stressful. So when she felt Spock's presence brush against hers, she accepted him into her mind, not caring what tortures awaited her.

_"You are sad." _he observed. _"Do you require my presence?"_

_"Spock, I'm still not giving in." _Nyota replied tiredly.

_"I did not suggest that we engage in sexual acts." _Spock pointed out _"You are in need of comfort. I can restrain myself as long as you can. After all, will it not increase temptation to chastely spend the night beside each other?"_

Nyota acknowledged that this was true.

_"Fine. But the game is still on- and the teasing starts tomorrow." _Nyota replied firmly. He did not reply, but five minutes later her door chimed. She let him in, and he silently followed her to the bed. They both laid on their sides, facing one another, touching only with their hands, which were clasped together between them. She told and showed him everything about Remaja.

"I don't think she's too happy with me right now. First I made her think about her daughter...now I'm abandoning her." Nyota finished.

"I sympathize. However...please do not allow her to call me 'Ears'."

Nyota laughed, and kissed his knuckles. "I just don't know what to do. I feel so sorry for her. I obviously can't bring her with us, and I know that Janice and Nurse Chapel won't be able to visit her as often as I do. She must be so lonely."

"Perhaps you should have asked more people to visit her, and organized a schedule." Spock replied. Nyota rolled her eyes, and even in the darkness of the room she knew Spock saw it.

"She isn't familiar with anyone else. And she's afraid of men...so I can't ask any of them, either. Who did you have in mind...the _captain_? I wouldn't trust him alone with a female of _any_ species...or even some of the hermaphrodites."

"You are speaking disrespectfully about your superior officer." Spock said.

"So write me up, Commander." she said, smiling. He moved closer, kissing her cheek.

"We are off duty, and what happens in the privacy of our quarters is not on record." he said, kissing her again, now on the lips. Through the bond, she knew what he was thinking.

"Uh-uh." Nyota said, pulling away. "You're not going to get me all hot and bothered like you did earlier. Not right now, anyway."

"This is foolish, Nyota." Spock said, and she felt his exasperation.

"It's not. Trust me. You'll be grateful for it when we get to the caves." Nyota said. She closed her eyes. "We should be going to sleep. We have to be up early."

He gave what was the closest to a sigh that a Vulcan could give, and pulled away from her a little more. She understood- it was difficult to be this close to him. She considered, briefly, giving in for at least that night....but she couldn't let Spock win.

"Good night, Spock." she said.

"Good night, _ashayam_." Spock replied, and she could still feel his frustration. She smiled as she drifted into sleep.

___________________________________________________________

They arrived at the transporter room right on time. They would have been there earlier...but Nyota had stopped by at Remaja's quarters. She had been asleep, so Nyota left the picture she had copied and framed on her bedside table, to make sure that that was the first thing she saw upon awakening.

Kirk was already waiting for them.

"Stay out of trouble. Please." he said as they entered.

"We do not intentionally place ourselves in harm's way, Jim." Spock replied. Kirk looked surprised that Spock had remembered not to call him 'Captain'.

"We'll be perfectly safe on New Vulcan." Nyota added. "The most dangerous thing there are wild animals in the desert...but Spock has assured me that they won't come anywhere near the city."

"That's a relief...take care, okay? And uh..." Kirk grinned. "Have fun."

Spock rose his trademark eyebrow. "When we return, it would be appreciated if you officiate over a Terran ceremony." he said.

"So you're going to get _two_ honeymoons?" Kirk asked, raising his own eyebrows suggestively. Actually, Nyota thought, it was three...they had had a brief one after the bonding, and they had two more to look forward to...

They stepped up onto the transporter pads.

"Energize." Spock said, and with a whirl of white transporter light, they were suddenly standing in front of a small building.

The first thing Nyota noticed was how stiflingly _hot _it was. The atmosphere was thinner than it was on Earth or on the Enterprise. She had to take several deep breaths to get the amount of oxygen she needed.

"You will adapt to the heat and atmosphere soon." Spock said, but she still felt his concern. She gave him a rather strained smile.

"I hope so." Nyota said, and they both looked up in time to see a tall figure walking toward them. Spock raised his hand in the Vulcan salute.

"_Dif-tor heh smusma_, Father." Spock said. Sarek returned the greeting. Then he turned to Nyota. "Father, this is Nyota Uhura." Spock said, his voice an octave lower, and she felt his affection for her.

"I am pleased to meet you at last." Sarek said. Nyota smiled.

"It's my pleasure, sir." she replied.

"Welcome to the city of _Vafer-tor'es_." Sarek said, gesturing around him. "The City of Regeneration."

**A/N: Okay...I know I said I was giving them a break...but the whole 'game' thing just had to be added...at least there won't be any danger ;)**


	15. Temptation

**Chapter 15: Temptation**

Vafer-tor'es was certainly a work in progress...yet it was amazing how much the Vulcans had accomplished in just three months.

The 'temporary homes' Spock had mentioned were low, stone buildings built along a sandy road...they were crude, but they had a certain elegant air to them at the same time. Here and there was a slightly larger building that housed a shop, or a physician's office...the building they had beamed down in front of served as New Vulcan's Embassy.

The sandy road led away, into a nest of building projects. The homes and structures that were being built there were sturdier, more refined...they were obviously the beginnings of the permanent city. As they watched, several Vulcans left their humble stone homes to walk along the road to the building sites, carrying tools. Everyone helped here...and Vulcan strength and precise delegation of duties would finish the work twice as fast than if it were humans assisting their efforts.

_Vafer-tor'es_...Regeneration. The name suited the city perfectly. To regenerate means to form, construct, or create anew in an improved state. It means to give new life, revitalize...and that was exactly what the Vulcans were trying to do.

As Nyota looked around her, she found it hard to believe that the Vulcans she saw were the same proud Vulcans who were renowned for their scientific advancement, known for their peace-keeping efforts for forming the Federation of Planets and, by extension, Starfleet. These were the same race of people who had assisted the humans in their last leap into space travel, the first alien contact, the same people who had looked down upon them almost disdainfully for their primitive lack of emotional control...

They looked beaten, tired. They no longer looked proud. They had been humbled by the loss of their world. They had lost families, friends...all in one brief second during which the great planet of Vulcan folded silently in upon itself.

Now, they were trying to salvage what hope they had left. The mighty Vulcans had been knocked backward thousands of years...they were starting all over again, completely from scratch. They lived in tan-colored stone huts no better than shacks, they worked hard all during the daylight hours...all so that they might, one day, see some semblance of normalcy in their lives.

Granted, it would not take them as long as before for them to return to the state they had been in. But it was still a long, hard road.

Nyota glanced sideways at Spock. He did not look at her- his head was tilted slightly towards his father as they walked along the road, listening as Sarek described their rebuilding efforts. The link had been closed since that morning, so she did not know how he felt about all of this...but if she, a non-Vulcan, could be saddened by what had become of his people, then certainly he was saddened as well...perhaps that was why he had closed the link before they beamed down. She had not questioned it at the time, and she would wait for him to reestablish the bond on his own terms.

Sarek led them down a side street. Here, the houses were slightly larger, although still identical in style and material to the ones they had seen previously. She assumed these belonged to members of higher class...or simply to those who required larger living quarters.

"I had planned to have a hover-car to assist you." Sarek said as he led them up to the door. "However, T'Shan required it. It was time for her to go to the city and collect supplies."

"Who's T'Shan?" Nyota whispered to Spock as Sarek disappeared inside.

"She has been a servant of my family for many years." Spock replied. "She was off-planet when Vulcan was destroyed...on Earth, to be precise."

Nyota wondered why T'Shan had been on Earth, but she didn't ask. Spock followed his father inside, and she walked in also.

She had expected the interior to be as humble as the exterior...but she was quite wrong. Other than the rough stone walls and floor, it looked relatively comfortable. The room they entered appeared to be a living room, with a sofa, several chairs, and a low table set before them, where there sat a communications console. Through a doorway, Nyota saw a hall that apparently led to other rooms.

"You will stay here for one week. Ms. Uhura will visit with females over that time, who will instruct her in what she may need to know. I will not be here often, as I have work in the Embassy...however." Sarek turned to face them, his eyes boring into Spock's. "T'Shan will be here. I expect no...improper behavior."

Nyota bit her lip, hard. Even then she couldn't totally keep the smile off her face. Well, Sarek certainly didn't have to worry about _that_...but seeing Spock's father telling him not to get any ideas was something she had never thought she would live to see.

"Certainly not, Father." Spock replied without pause. Sarek turned away again, leading them down the hallway.

The house was more spacious than it had seemed. It contained four bedrooms, a kitchen, a small dining room, and two bathrooms. Nyota wondered how even _this _house was able to be built in three months, let alone so many others also.

"And you said these houses are only temporary?" Nyota asked Spock.

"Our ancestral homes are much larger than this. Ours is not likely to be finished for several years." Spock replied. "It is logical to make this one as comfortable as possible in the meantime."

Nyota wondered how Sarek had known to have four bedrooms built in. One for him, one for this T'Shan, one for each of them...the coincidence was uncanny, and she wondered just how long Sarek had known about their relationship, and how he had known that they would eventually marry.

She also noted that her and Spock's bedrooms were separated by T'Shan's.

Spock placed her duffel bag on her bed, and went down the hall to his own room. She took this time to look around. There was a small bed, a closet, tables...nothing out of the ordinary. Except for one thing...Nyota spotted a red box sitting on a shelf in the closet. She looked at it for a moment, unsure of whether or not she should look in it...after all, this was Sarek's house. But soon, curiosity overcame her, and she stood on her tiptoes to get it down.

She set it on the bed, and was just opening it when Spock returned. Startled, she made as if to close it, feeling her cheeks grow hot. She had been caught snooping.

"It was not my intention to alarm you." Spock said, coming to stand beside her, his eyes on the box. "I recognize this container." he said, reaching out to touch the lid, his fingers skimming over hers lightly as he did so.

"Whose is it?" Nyota asked. Spock looked up, his eyes meeting hers.

"My mother's." he replied quietly. "I have only seen it once, when I accompanied her to Earth to visit her relations. She kept heirlooms in it...it was her intention, if she ever had a daughter, to pass them on to her. She never did, and instead gave them to her sister for safekeeping."

"Why is it here, then?" Nyota asked. Spock looked away from her, at the box.

"That is an illogical question, as I believe the answer is obvious. The container is in your room, is it not?" Spock asked.

"So your father...?" Nyota trailed off.

"It would seem so." Spock replied. Nyota felt her eyes watering, and she blinked away the tears. Spock reached out and touched her arm gently. "Open it, _ashayam_."

"No...I want to wait." Nyota said, picking up the box and placing it on a table underneath a window that afforded a view of the desert. "I consider this to be a wedding gift, so I'm going to wait until the morning of our official wedding to open it." No matter how much she wanted to see what was inside.

Nyota returned to her bag and began to unpack it. The room was silent for several minutes, as Spock watched her. His eyes followed her every movement, and she wished the link was open so she would know what he was thinking. Soon, it became obvious.

"Nyota...it is apparent that my father approves of our marriage. Is your family even aware of my presence in your life?" he asked. Nyota froze.

"Spock...I've told you how my family is." she said stiffly. She was done unpacking, but she wished that she wasn't, so that she would have something to do- anything to excuse her from looking Spock in the face. She folded her arms over her chest and looked down at her feet. Spock, who had been sitting on the bed, stood and walked in front of her. She winced slightly. He was obviously trying to force her to meet his gaze, and she reluctantly did so.

"That is no excuse, Nyota." he said firmly. She sighed.

"You know my father doesn't like..._non-Terrans_." she said. "And my mother is still furious that I entered Starfleet. Well, actually, both of them are...I haven't spoken more than once a year to them since I entered the academy. They would probably have heart attacks if they found out about Scorpius Three and Kathosia...then have strokes if they found out that I'm married to a Vulcan- one of the _non-Terrans _they dislike the most."

Her entire family was distrustful of aliens, but especially of Vulcans. They had been ever since the first contact. She often wondered, considering the negativity about non-Terrans that had surrounded her all of her life, how she had ended up not only as a xenolinguist, but as a Vulcan's wife. Perhaps it was a form of rebellion. If there was one thing her parents would have aneurysms about, it was Spock.

"I have not pressed this issue before...perhaps I should have." Spock said, and reached out to place his hands gently on her shoulders. "Nyota, even if they dislike it, you must tell them."

"Spock...please don't ask that of me." Nyota said with a sigh, and leaned forward to rest her head against his chest.

"I informed my parents of our relationship when it began, risking that they may disapprove. But I did not hesitate to do it."

"That's because you_ had _to tell them, to let them know why you were breaking it off with T'Pring!" Nyota said, pulling away.

"That does not change the fact that I did it." Spock said. "My _ashayam_, I plan on being part of your life throughout the duration of it. They must find out eventually." Nyota groaned.

"Fine! I'll do it...but not until we're back on the Enterprise. And you can't be around when I break the news. I don't want you to see their reactions...it's not going to be pretty."

"I am amenable to that." Spock said, and brushed his lips softly against hers before pulling away. She turned back to the now-empty bag on her bed, about to put it in the closet. Then she felt Spock's hand, high up on her ribcage. He slid it down slowly, sensuously, his fingers brushing against the side of her right breast, then down her waist, to her hip...moving to the side...ending with a gentle squeeze to her rear. She gasped.

"I believe you did say that the game is still on." Spock breathed in her ear, before leaning forward to gently bite her shoulder. Nyota couldn't speak. His hand was still on her bottom, the other now on her hip, kneading it with his _very _nimble fingers. She licked her lips, which were suddenly dry. She felt her temperature rising...and then he pulled away.

"If you include the first time you rejected me, and also last night when you rejected me again...I believe we are now even." he said as he headed for the door. Nyota gaped after him. _Damn this game! _she thought.

Whose idea had this been? _Hers_? She wanted to kick herself. What a stupid, _stupid_ idea. But she couldn't end the game now...if she conceded defeat, or even suggested that they quit, that would mean Spock had won. And she wasn't even _about _to let that happen.

"You just wait, S'chn T'Gai Spock." Nyota said through gritted teeth. "The tie is temporary, I _assure _you."

She caught a glimpse of his 'non-smile' as he left.

___________________________________________________________

When Nyota joined Spock and Sarek in the living room ten minutes later, they were again discussing Vafer-tor'es. She took a seat in a chair to Spock's right, across from his father.

"Almost every surviving Vulcan has joined the rebuilding efforts." Sarek said, his hands folded before him- a habit of Spock's that she was very familiar with. "The exceptions are those who hold duties to other causes. I myself act as one of the ambassadors for New Vulcan...we do require assistance from the Federation. We do not have funding, and must lean on others for it. The Terrans have offered to send workers to assist us, but their offer has been refused. We do not need humans to slow us down, as our rebuilding is, at this moment, ahead of schedule."

Nyota was surprised to find that she wasn't insulted by this. She had grown used to Spock's blunt remarks about how humans are inferior in efficiency to Vulcans...it didn't bother her, because from what she had seen, they were correct. In three months, humans could not have accomplished even half of what the Vulcans had.

"Father, have you yet met...my older self?" Spock asked. Nyota looked up- Spock had told her about his run-in with that elder version of himself. It had just occurred to her that, if he was here, she would get to meet him for the first time. She couldn't deny that she was curious about him, about that alternate reality. What had she been like in his time? Had they been married? Did they have children?

"Yes." Sarek replied. "I see him quite often. He chose this planet as our rebuilding site, and acts as lead planner and ambassador. He works at the Embassy also...it is highly likely that you will see him this week."

Before the discussion could continue, the front door opened and an old Vulcan woman entered. She stopped when she saw Spock and gave him the traditional Vulcan greeting.

"T'Shan, it has been several years." Spock replied. Nyota studied the woman. She must have been at least a hundred years old, although she only appeared to be about fifty. She was a handsome woman, but not beautiful, her black hair streaked with gray and lines beginning to set into the corners of her eyes and mouth.

"It has been 7.3 to be exact." T'Shan replied.

"Have you acquired the supplies I listed?" Sarek asked. T'Shan bowed her head.

"Yes, _osu_ Sarek." T'Shan said. "Shall I put them away in the kitchen now?"

"Yes." Sarek replied, and she left. Nyota looked quizzically after her, and then back at Spock.

"I didn't realize that Vulcans have servants." she remarked.

"Members of the _thol'es_, the nobility, often do." he replied. "Most of our servants perished on Vulcan. Only T'Shan remains. She lives here because all of her family is gone. It was only logical for her to be taken in."

"Oh." Nyota said, and fell silent for a moment, digesting this information. She was sure that T'Shan shared this history with many on New Vulcan, but it made it no less regrettable. Then she latched onto something else he had said. "Wait- _thol'es_?"

Sarek looked at his son, _almost _frowning. "You have not told her, Spock?" he asked.

"I saw no logical reason to bring it up." Spock replied. "Nyota, the S'chn T'Gai clan is an ancient family. We are of the Vulcan nobility. This is why our..._elopement_...is particularly unacceptable. The _thol'es _set an example for other Vulcans."

"And you didn't see a _logical _reason to tell me this?" Nyota asked disapprovingly. Oh, yes. He was certainly going to pay for this- and for his behavior of twenty minutes ago. She was already forming a plan. He was going to regret it.

"You have never asked me if my family was noble." Spock replied. She couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes.

"Spock- perhaps we could participate in a game of 3D-chess." Sarek interrupted before Nyota could retort. She looked at him- he was looking at Spock, but she knew he was trying to avert the situation. She had to admit- he had learned exceptionally well from his human wife. She could only hope Spock would become just as wise, over time.

________________________________________________________________

They had spent the day quietly- even dinner had been peaceful. The only interruptions to their calm conversations had been Nyota's occasional laugh at something said that was not intentionally humorous, but which she still found to be so.

It was strange, to be on New Vulcan. To see the rebuilding of a once-great civilization. It was strange to be in this stone house. It was strange to see his father without his mother at his side. Even without outward displays of emotions, Spock knew his father missed her greatly. He could almost feel his sorrow radiating in the air.

He had been able to bury his pain over his mother's death remarkably well for the past three months. But being here, where she _should_ have been, made him think about her more than he had in that whole time. It brought his pain back to the surface, and he was grateful that Nyota could not feel it due to the closed bond.

Spock wondered if perhaps his father's insistence that they come to New Vulcan had a less logical motivation than the repair of their marriage. T'Shan, his only companion, was Vulcan- and undoubtedly, Sarek had become accustomed to human company. Perhaps he had needed another human woman to look upon and listen to as she laughed, even if it was his son's wife, not his.

Spock had rarely seen his parents acting affectionately with one another. He assumed that they had refrained from such displays in front of him, because his mother was always a happy woman- he could not imagine her being so happy if she did not receive shows of affection. He knew Nyota certainly would not be- she had made that obvious before. Even a light caress of her cheek, a kiss on her neck, was enough to ascertain her contentment for at least an hour.

He looked over at Nyota...they had retired to the living room again after dinner, and he and his father were again playing chess. Nyota watched, but he knew that she wasn't particularly interested in it. He had tried to teach her chess before, but she simply did not enjoy it. He had tried to explain that chess was not meant to be _enjoyed_, but played as a test of strategy. She had only rolled her eyes, and kissed him, saying that she had better things to do with their evening than try to play chess. He maintained, even to this day, that the real reason she disliked the game was because she had never beaten him at it. She refused to admit that it was the truth, which Spock found highly illogical, and representative of human stubbornness.

"I'm going to bed." Nyota announced after several more minutes of watching the game. He reached out across the bond, and sensed her impatience. He wondered what she was impatient about. _"I'm just tired of watching you two take ten minutes each to make a move."_ she replied. He sensed that she was only telling half the truth, but he did not inquire further.

After she had left, Spock returned to the chess match. There was precisely 3.4 minutes of silence before his father spoke.

"Spock, I am...relieved, that you came to make amends for your error." Sarek said.

"I am as concerned about what we did as you are, Father. It was an illogical decision to make. I wish for Nyota to be given all privileges she should as a member of our family. I wish for you to recognize our marriage."

"I approve of her entirely. You have made a wise choice, even if you have not been wise in how you made her your wife." Sarek replied.

"Why do you approve of her so readily?" Spock asked, looking up from the chess board at Sarek, who did not look up.

"I have two logical reasons." Sarek replied. "And perhaps an illogical one, as well."

"Please clarify, Father." Spock prompted.

"While it was always my wish that you take a Vulcan wife, it was logical- perhaps even predictable- that you turned to a human in the end. T'Pring did not look upon your human genetics with favor. Her parents were only agreeable to the match because of your family's position. Very few of our kind can accept your mixed heritage without question.

"A human, however...I have found that most humans are not likely to be prejudiced against those with mixed origins. Certainly, this is not true of all humans, but many are accepting. Your mother accepted me, and Nyota has accepted you. It is because of this accepting characteristic that I believe it logical for you to marry a human.

"The other logical reason is the fact that Vulcan males do, at this time, outnumber Vulcan females. The margin of gender percentages is not great, but it is inevitable that some males will not have a mate. You have enabled one Vulcan male to have a mate by taking a human instead."

"And the illogical reason to accept our match?" Spock asked, and Sarek finally looked up to meet his son's gaze. Even Spock, as lacking in 'eye-reading' talent as he was, could see the fathomless depths of his father's sadness in his dark eyes.

"Your mother would have wanted me to."

___________________________________________________________

Nyota waited until she heard Spock enter his room down the hall. Then she slipped out the door, crept down the hallway, and entered.

He was taking off his blue shirt when she came in, and turned to look at her, puzzled.

"Nyota? You should not be here. My father has instructed T'Shan-"

"Shh." Nyota said, laying a finger against his lips. "We can be quiet. I've changed my mind."

"Nyota-"

"I_ said _we can be quiet." Nyota said, and slid her arms around him, raking her nails against his back, slowly moving him toward the bed. She began to kiss him, and she could feel him relenting, giving in to the feel of her lips against his, her hands on his back, pulling him flush against her body.

She pushed him backwards onto the bed, and then crawled over until she was straddling him. She bent down to kiss him again, their tongues meeting in a fight for dominance, her nails now raking against his chest, running through the sparse hairs, then up to cradle his head, her fingers threading through his hair. She sighed against him, and moved her hips. Oh yes...he was _very_ aroused.

It took every ounce of the willpower she possessed to pull away from those lips, which were so hot, so enticing...his eyes were dark with want, with _need_, as she looked into them.

"Three to two, Commander." she whispered with a smirk. She then sat up, and moved off of him. She moved over to the door, making sure to swing her hips a little more than usual. When she looked back at him, he was sitting up, his hair in complete disarray...if he didn't insist that he didn't display emotions, she would say that he looked disgruntled. "And still six days left to go." she added with a satisfied smile before slipping out the door.

**A/N: These two are going to be heating up New Vulcan before they even get to the caves ;)**

**Please review! Reviews make me really, really happy. I don't get paid any other way.**


	16. Inflamed

**A/N: There's a scene in this chapter that may be either hard T or mild M...I'm not sure which it qualifies as, but I just thought I'd warn you if you don't like that sort of thing...I'm telling you, the scene is hot!**

**Chapter 16: Inflamed**

He was planning revenge. She could tell by the way his eyes burned as he looked at her.

She smirked to herself as she lifted a cup of tea to her lips, her elbows resting on the table. T'Shan was serving them breakfast- plomeek broth. Spock sat across from her at the table...Sarek was already at the Embassy for the day.

When she had awoken that morning, she had found Vulcan gowns and robes waiting in her closet. She chose a white gown made of a thin cloth, with a gold-embroidered, beaded belt around the waist. Over that, she wore a high-necked light brown robe, with identical gold stitching. She had pulled her hair back in a simple ponytail to keep it off her neck to complete the look. The clothing was simple, but she enjoyed the modesty it afforded. She rarely got to wear anything aboard the Enterprise that shielded her legs from view...although she suspected that she would soon find the robe to be too much. It was only just after sunrise, after all- the day would get hotter.

Upon entering the dining room, she had gotten the feeling that somehow, Spock appreciated seeing her in Vulcan attire more than he did seeing her in the skimpy Starfleet uniform. Perhaps it was because he knew exactly what was under that gown...

She looked over at him, but he did not look away like anyone else would do when caught staring. He continued to look at her, his gaze not even flickering. She smiled slyly at him as she set down her tea and picked up a spoon. His elbows were on the table, hands clasped together in front of his mouth. He was _definitely_ thinking about the night before.

"Do you have something on your mind?" Nyota asked as she dipped her spoon into the plomeek. She had tried the broth before, and knew it was going to be bland. She wished there was some salt or pepper nearby...

"Nothing that needs to be addressed." Spock replied. He was still looking at her. She decided to reach across the link.

_"Then why are you staring at me?" _she asked, tasting the broth- yes, definitely bland. It tasted more like warm water than soup. She struggled to keep her face straight as she swallowed it.

"T'Shan, does my father keep flavorings here?" Spock asked.

"He asked me to get some yesterday morning." T'Shan replied. She left for the kitchen, and came back a few seconds later. She carried several different kinds of seasonings...two of which were salt and pepper. Nyota thanked T'Shan as she took them.

"My mother often complained about Vulcan food...even after many years of eating little else." Spock said. "She insisted on having flavorings."

_"You didn't answer my question." _Nyota said, still amused. _"Why are you staring at me?"_

_"You look particularly appealing today." _he replied. She could sense that there was something else, something mischievous...but she didn't prod any further. She felt a thrill run through her, as she wondered what he had planned.

_"You're probably still suffering from the after-effects of last night." _Nyota said.

_"I meditated away any possible after-effects."_

_"Are you sure?" _she asked slyly. He did not reply, but he finally stopped staring at her.

"_Osu_ Sarek suggested that perhaps you should investigate the city more closely today." T'Shan said. "He has taken the hover-vehicle, but it is not far."

"Do you wish to go, Nyota?" Spock asked.

"I wouldn't mind." she replied.

"If you go, you must return by nightfall. There is a gathering tonight at the Embassy, sponsored by a visiting Terran ambassador. You have been invited." T'Shan said, retrieving Spock's empty bowl.

"Is this thing formal?" Nyota asked.

"All such gatherings are, Nyota. It is a diplomatic occasion." Spock replied. "There should be formal attire in your closet."

Nyota did remember seeing a gown that was significantly fancier than the others. She wasn't fond of formal functions, but as long as Spock was there...

Once Nyota was finished eating, she and Spock went outside. The sand was almost blindingly white as they made their way down the road. Squinting, she looked up at Spock.

"Is this whole planet nothing but desert?" she asked.

"No. There are seas, and tropical climates as well. Vafer-tor'es was established here because there is a water source only fifty-seven minutes away. We find arid climates preferable."

"Is Vafer-tor'es the only city being built?" she asked, stepping aside as a Vulcan woman carrying a basket of vegetables passed close by to them.

"At this time, yes. But once Vafer-tor'es is sufficiently established, other Vulcans will move on to other parts of this planet." Spock replied. They walked silently along the road for a few minutes, and Nyota ventured across the bond again. She sensed his sadness.

_"It must be hard, to see your people like this." _she said.

_"It is difficult." _Spock replied. _"These people have set their lives aside to rebuild their world. Many of the Vulcans you see before you, once held prominent positions in Vulcan society...now they are no more than laborers. Their sacrifice speaks for itself. I once believed I should take my place among them...and perhaps I should have."_

Nyota didn't reply to that...she knew he was right. Both she and Starfleet had prevented him from taking his rightful place, and she felt guilty.

_"I do not regret my decision, ashayam." _Spock said, soothing her. _"Even if I did, you cannot be held accountable. It was my decision to make."_

They walked silently side-by-side, so close that occasionally their arms brushed against each other. No one on the crowded street noticed them.

She looked around her...there were more Vulcans around today than there had been the day before. Men, women, and children walked along the road, toward the city...their steps disturbed the fine, powdery sand, which rose in a cloud around them. Others were returning from work already, covered in sand which coated their clothing, settling in their hair and severely arched eyebrows, aging them by decades.

Skeletons of unfinished buildings loomed ahead out of the sandy fog. She heard orders being relayed in flat tones, the answering voices just as emotionless. Scaffolding rose high up into the sky, and she watched as stones were raised and lowered into place with machinery that ran on portable energy supplies. She had half-expected them to be using nothing but hammers and saws, but now that she thought about it, she almost laughed aloud at herself. Of _course_ Vulcans wouldn't rely on such primitive tools.

"It would take much too long to finish a single structure." Spock said, looking over at her, raising an eyebrow.

"That's why I want to laugh at myself." Nyota said, and she gestured toward a building nearby that was finished. "What's that?"

"That is the supply center." Spock replied. "Freighters arrive every day to beam down fresh supplies of food, cloth, tools...everything New Vulcan requires, and is so far unable to provide."

"So it's basically a charity center." Nyota said, looking away from it, toward a different building. "Vulcans have never struck me as the type to accept charity willingly."

"It would be illogical to deny help when it is so obviously needed." Spock replied.

"Then why did the ambassadors turn down the offer for Terran workers? I'm sure they could use more workers."

"Perhaps Vulcan pride is still present enough to prevent that." Spock replied. He led her out of the crowd of workers, toward a relatively quiet stretch of road that lined a row of unfinished houses. "There are humans present here on New Vulcan, but they are mostly long-term ambassadors and their families."

They spent the morning and early afternoon surveying the work around them. The more she saw, the more Nyota felt sympathy for the Vulcans. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose everything she held dear, to have to start her whole life over again. This could just as easily have happened to Earth...and it almost _had_. If Earth had been destroyed as well, _neither_ of them would have homes...

_"I do have a home." _Spock said as they skirted around a half-built school. _"My home is on the Enterprise...with you."_

This comment moved her so much that she had to turn away to compose herself.

___________________________________________________________

They returned in time for a midday meal of vegetable stir fry...something Nyota had not expected.

"It was a favorite of my mother's." Spock told her when T'Shan retreated to the kitchen. "T'Shan and my mother were exceptionally close, for a Vulcan and a human. T'Shan learned how to prepare several Terran dishes for her."

T'Shan had yet to speak more than a handful of words to Nyota. She was not impolite, but sometimes she felt like T'Shan was eying her too closely, watching her every move...she wasn't sure that the Vulcan woman liked her.

_"She heard you come to my room last night." _Spock told her, raising an eyebrow. _"I did try to warn you...my father instructed her to listen for any attempts at either of us joining the other. While we are already bonded, we are here for the official ceremony, and normally Vulcans do not sleep together beforehand."_

_"What makes you think she heard me leave my room?" _Nyota asked.

_"I heard her tell my father before I came in to breakfast." _Spock replied. _"It is not only you who is being watched, Nyota. She watches me closely, as well."_

_"Isn't it illogical to be this overprotective about our virtues?" _Nyota asked with a smirk. _"We've pretty much destroyed the meaning of virtue."_

_"Perhaps." _Spock replied. He was looking at her in that _way _again, the same way he had eyed her that morning, his eyes burning and calculating at the same time. That look alone was enough to make heat flood the lower region of her body. She cleared her throat and continued to eat her lunch. Well, one thing was for certain...there would be no more of the 'game' around the house. T'Shan was paying too much attention.

________________________________________________________

Sarek returned to the house as the sun was setting, and by that time both Spock and Nyota were getting ready for the 'gathering'. Nyota stood before the full-length mirror in her room, examining herself from every angle, admiring the gown she was now wearing.

It was dark red, and made of a velvety material that was incredibly soft as she smoothed it against her body. It was simple, with no fancy embroidery or beading, with diamond-shaped cutouts in the back. A sheer, lighter red material covered her arms, collar bones, and the cutouts on her back. The effect was both modest and sensual, showing only glimpses of her skin.

She had straightened her hair and pulled it back in a simple bun after her shower, and with that done, she was ready.

There was a very light knock at the door. "Come in." she called, turning away from the mirror. Spock entered, and stopped at the sight of her, his eyes taking in the snug-fitting bodice and teasing panels of sheer fabric.

"You look..." he seemed to be unable to find an adequate description. He decided on the simple, obvious truth. "Beautiful."

"Thank you." she said, smiling at him. "What do you want?"

"It is time to leave." he said, straightening up and clasping his hands behind his back. "I am to escort you to the hover-car."

She slipped on the red slippers that matched the gown and joined him by the door. "I'm ready, Commander." she said, teasingly.

"I still do not understand why you call me by my rank when we are obviously not on duty." Spock replied as he led her down the hall and to the front door.

"Because it's _sexy_." she whispered the words into one pointed ear, her breath tickling the sensitive skin. She could have sworn she saw him shiver, just the tiniest bit, and she smiled as she pulled away.

Soon they were seated in the hover-car, and taken to the Embassy. On the way there, Nyota leaned closer to Spock.

"Isn't this kind of conceited? I mean, all the other Vulcans in Vafer-tor'es are poor, barely scraping by...and we're going to a fancy dinner at the Embassy? Wearing formal attire? I feel like a snob."

"The clothing and dinner are sponsored by the same Terrans. Despite the current condition of New Vulcan, diplomacy is ever the same." Spock replied.

"And so is the way diplomacy is presented." Sarek said from the front seat. "I agree that it is 'conceited' as you say...but as we are currently in debt to the Terrans, it would be rude to point that out."

Soon, they were exiting the hover-car and entering the Embassy. Like the buildings surrounding it, it was made of crude stone...but like Sarek's home, it was more than it appeared. It was lit brightly, with a long table along one wall that held a buffet, with smaller tables opposite. A Vulcan woman played a _ka'athyra_, a Vulcan lute, in a corner. The hauntingly beautiful sounds it made floated over the Terrans and Vulcans that stood talking in small groups.

"It's been a long time since you've played your _ka'athyra_ for me." Nyota commented to Spock as she listened.

"Perhaps I will again for you." Spock replied.

"If you will excuse me, I must speak to someone." Sarek said. "You are free to do as you please."

He left, and Nyota looked around...she didn't know anyone else there, and wasn't sure what the protocol was for introducing oneself to ambassadors and Vulcans. She assumed that she must wait to be introduced. She was about to ask Spock to take her around the room, when she spotted someone...he was exactly Spock's height, and his hair was gray, but there was no mistaking him, even from this distance.

"Spock!" she said, turning to him, her eyes shining. "Why don't you introduce me to yourself?"

Spock followed her gaze across the room, to where his elder self stood conversing with a human ambassador. He nodded once, and they started across the room. Elder Spock saw them coming, and excused himself from his conversation to turn to them.

"Spock." the Ambassador said, and then his eyes fell on Nyota. "I was uninformed that you would be on New Vulcan. Is the Enterprise on shore leave already?"

"No, it is not." Spock replied, clasping his hands behind his back, mirroring his elder version's natural stance. "We are here for the wedding ceremonies."

When Elder Spock's eyebrows shot up, and he looked over at Nyota, she knew right away the answer to two of her questions; this Spock and the Nyota of his time had not been married, and therefore most certainly did not have children.

"Wedding ceremonies." Elder Spock repeated slowly, looking back at his younger self. "Fascinating."

"Do you mean..." Spock also glanced at Nyota. "In your time, you did not marry Nyota?"

"Lieutenant Uhura was a very capable Communications officer, and an excellent colleague. But I assure you that our relationship did not extend beyond our professional one." he replied. "This development is interesting, to say the least."

"I wonder what happened differently in our timeline to change that." Nyota said, frowning slightly. She looked over at her Spock. "I don't think Nero affected anything in my life before entering Starfleet. It must be something to do with you."

The three of them were contemplative for a moment. Then Elder Spock spoke again. "When will the ceremony occur?"

"In five days." Spock replied. He paused. "As the Enterprise is now in the Rigel system, I was unable to have Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy attend. Perhaps you could."

"That would be an honor." Elder Spock replied. "To indulge in a human colloquialism...it is not every day that you have the chance to be a guest at your own wedding."

Nyota grinned at that. Yes, although much older, this was still Spock, with the same dry sense of humor.

"Would you like a drink?" her Spock asked her now. It wasn't until then that she realized that she was even thirsty. He must have felt it over the bond.

"Oh...yes, thank you." Nyota said, and Spock turned to pour her a glass of blue-green _kaasa_ juice. She accepted it with a smile. _"You're too sweet." _she added. He rose an eyebrow.

_"Sweet refers to a flavor. I do not believe I am made of glucose." _Spock replied, and she stifled a laugh before taking a sip of her juice. Elder Spock watched the exchange closely.

"It was a pleasure to see you again, Lieutenant Uhura." Elder Spock said. "It had been many years since I saw your lovely visage. However, I must go now...this is, after all, first and foremost a chance for ambassadors to 'mingle'."

He left, and Nyota rose her own eyebrow at Spock. _"Lovely visage? Looks like you were smooth in both realities." _she said. Then she realized that she had missed out on her opportunity to ask what had become of her other self. Had she ever married at all? But on second thought...now that she knew she didn't end up with Spock, she wasn't sure that she really wanted to know. What _had _changed in this reality that brought the two of them together?

She was still thinking about this, trying to find even the tiniest change in their fates, when Spock brushed his arm against hers.

"I believe you said earlier that you had not heard me play my _ka'athyra_ in some time?" he asked. Nyota nodded.

"Ye-e-es..." she said, drawing the word out. "What about it?"

Spock looked into the corner, where the Vulcan woman was finishing a song. "Perhaps I could play now. It would not be unacceptable."

"What song will you play?" she asked. Across the link she felt something akin to mischief. She had never thought Spock was capable of mischievousness until they had bonded.

"I will play a song you have not heard before...it is my own invention." he replied. Her interest piqued, she smiled.

"Well, go on, then." she said, gesturing toward the corner as the last notes died away. Spock approached the Vulcan woman, and spoke quietly with her for a few seconds. Nyota saw her nod and then stand, giving Spock her _ka'athyra _as she moved to the buffet table to get a drink.

Spock seated himself in the recently vacated chair, and warmed up by playing a few random notes. She came closer as he began to play an unfamiliar song.

It started out slow, and Nyota was surprised when it was accompanied by an image in her mind...an image of Spock gently kissing her, one hand cupping her cheek. She closed her eyes briefly, savoring it. She did not open them again until the tempo of the song changed subtly- and with it, so did the image, like a movie...a music vid, almost. As Spock's fingers began to strum slightly faster, the Spock in her mind took the hairband out of her hair, tangling his fingers in the long tresses as he deepened the kiss, massaging her scalp sensuously.

She stared in disbelief, her whole body starting to heat up, as Spock's fingers moved expertly over the _ka'athyra _strings, just as expertly as the Spock in her mind was now stripping them both of their clothes in between hot, desirous kisses, his fingers all over her body, stroking all of her favorite pleasure points.

Spock closed his eyes as his fingers moved faster on the strings, the tempo definitely starting to pick up now, sounding almost like a heartbeat as the notes were forcefully struck, the music that came from them passionate and erotic, speaking of desire and need, love and fire. She struggled to remain composed as the images in her mind became even more erotic...Spock was now picking her up, setting her down on a bed, kissing her everywhere, pausing between her legs...her own moans of pleasure indistinguishable from long, drawn out notes in the song, accompanying the feverish pitch of the melody...

The notes became hurried, almost flowing together completely as the Spock and Nyota in her mind joined together, bodies hot and slicked with sweat, his breath warm against her neck as he said her name like a chant, biting her deliciously hard.

The song hit its climax, and at the same time, so did the couple in her mind. The notes died away, and there was a pause before it started up again, once more slow, sweet, loving...as the Spock in her head was now gently kissing her again, tucking her hair behind her ears, kissing her eyelids, her cheeks, before sliding off of her and holding her in his arms.

With one last, long note, the song ended. As applause broke out around her, Nyota was startled out of her trance. She looked around...she had almost forgotten that they were not alone...that song had not been for them, it had been for her...but they probably only thought it was a beautifully crafted, passionate song...even the Vulcans did not seem displeased by Spock's talent with the _ka'athyra_.

It was much too warm in the room. She had to get some fresh air, some time to compose herself...the song still reverberated in her body, as she replayed the images in her head. That had been the single most seductive thing ever...and it had been for her.

She made her way to the door, finding herself short of breath. As soon as the cool air hit her, she sighed in relief...and since it was still overly warm outside, that said something about her current body temperature.

She leaned against a wall to catch her breath, her heart still pounding. _Why_ did he have to do that in front of so many people? If they had been back at the house when he played that- T'Shan be damned- she would have had her way with him right there on the chair.

She closed her eyes, leaning her head against the wall as a breeze cooled her hot cheeks. She heard a door open, but did not open her eyes until she sensed a warm body in front of her.

"Walk with me, _ashayam_." Spock said, and she felt his hand on her arm, pulling her away from the wall. She sighed as she followed him.

"When did you write that song?" she asked as he led her away. She dimly realized that he was leading her down an alleyway.

"I did not write it...it simply came to me as I envisioned you." he replied. "I doubt I could replicate it precisely again."

"Where are we going?" Nyota asked.

"Somewhere we will have little chance of being seen or overheard." Spock replied, and she felt his hand on her lower back, guiding her.

"Why would you want to do that?" she asked suspiciously, but he did not reply, and she realized that the link was closed. She began to formulate a theory.

After they had walked some ways away, Spock turned to her. It was almost completely dark in the alleyway, the only lighting being the stars and a distant street light. She was a little intimidated and a lot turned on when he slowly advanced on her, until she was pressed against the wall again, his arms on either side of her so that she had no chance of escape. With his hot body this close, it was hard for her to focus on anything other than the heat again pooling within her.

"Spock?" she questioned, slightly nervous. He was nuzzling his cheek against hers.

"Yes, my Nyota?" he asked.

"What are we doing here?"

He touched her cheek, caressing it, his fingers leaving trails of heat as they slid down her jaw, her neck, and now her collarbone.

"You know why we are here. My father and T'Shan prohibit fraternization in the house. This is one of very few chances for us to be alone."

"What if someone comes this way?" she asked.

"No one will. I estimate only a 1.3 percent chance that anyone will come this way. And even if they do, my hearing is acute enough that we will have plenty of forewarning."

"And what are you planning on doing while we're back here?" Nyota asked, finally allowing herself to touch his chest as she felt reassured of their relative privacy.

"I have realized something." Spock said, as he now ran a finger along the top of her gown's bodice. "I have an unfair advantage over you. I am able to meditate away any desire you may invoke in me...yet you are left to suffer. There are means of achieving your satisfaction that do not require mating."

She felt herself get even warmer as she realized what he was suggesting. So he was going to pleasure her anyway, then? This wasn't quite the point of their game, but she wasn't about to let him in on that fact...

"Oh?" Nyota said, and he kissed her, his lips and tongue hot against hers. She was unable to stifle a soft sigh of satisfaction.

"That gown is quite tantalizing." Spock said as he moved to kiss her jaw, and then her ear, neck..."Perhaps you should keep it...when you tire of it, we can dispose of it in the same manner that we did the gold one."

She couldn't formulate a reply as he sucked gently on a certain spot on her neck. Her eyes closed, as her arms wrapped around his shoulders, bringing him closer to her. She didn't even consider the fact that anyone might come looking for them, anymore. As far as she was concerned, they could mind their own damn business.

She felt his hand move over her breast, and slide down her waist to cup her rear, much as he had done the day before. As he did, he switched to the other side of her neck, finding the sweet spots on that side, too. She dimly became aware that he was inching the skirt of her dress upward...she could feel a breeze on her legs. But she didn't pay any mind to it until she felt his palm against her bare hip.

"Spock..." it was both a plea to stop, and a plea to urge him on. She wasn't sure which she wanted, but as his hand moved to touch the place where she so desperately needed him, her mind was made up. She couldn't restrain the faint whimper that escaped her lips, which was swallowed by him as he kissed her again.

His fingers worked her the same way they had worked the _ka'athyra_ not twenty minutes before. Soon, only her arms around his shoulders were keeping her upright. Her breathing was fast, hard, as she felt a glorious crescendo within her, rising ever upward, her nerves tingling in anticipation, desperate for release. She buried her face against her arm, and she felt his hot breath ghosting against her cheek as he focused on his task.

She could feel herself becoming ever closer, nearing that breaking point, anticipating the waves of ecstasy that would soon wash over her...

And then, right as she was on the verge of completion, he stopped.

She cried out, not in ecstasy, but in frustration.

"Spock!" she said angrily. "What the _hell_?"

He had allowed the skirt to drop. As the haze lifted from her mind, she felt strength returning to her legs, and she pushed herself away from him.

"This is precisely what you did to me last night." Spock said calmly, stepping away. She glared at him.

"Well- you weren't- I mean, you weren't about to-"

"This _is_ a game of temptation, is it not?" he asked. Her chest was still heaving as she stared at him.

"You said- you said that you had an unfair advantage."

"Yes, it is unfair- for you. But as you initiated this illogical game, I assumed that you would be able to cope with the consequences. I admit, I did mislead you- but I did not lie. If you will recall, you employed similar tactics last night, by saying you had 'changed your mind' in order to get me to allow your actions."

She opened and closed her mouth, and then swallowed hard. She had to admit, he _did_ have a point...he had only done what she had done, albeit to a harsher degree. But this_ was _a game. That still didn't stop her from wanting to strangle him.

"I can't believe you did that to me!" she said, folding her arms over her chest. She still ached for him...

"I promise I will make it up to you in the caves." Spock said, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. "Many times." he added in a whisper against her ear.

"I'm still mad at you. I was so close..." she sighed, and turned away to begin walking back to the Embassy...she just hoped no one would be able to notice her state of arousal. "They're probably wondering where we are."

"I believe we are even once more, Nyota." Spock said as he caught up to her.

"No. We're not." Nyota replied bitterly. "The song of seduction and the torture you just administered counts as two. It's four to three now."

"You are surprisingly fair." Spock said, and slid his arm around her waist, drawing her closer to his side.

"There's still five days, Spock. I _guarantee_ that I will get you back. I don't know how I'll outdo you, but I swear I will."

"You seem surprised that I have played this game well." Spock said.

"I guess I underestimated you." she said darkly. She could see light up ahead, and knew they were getting closer.

"This is only another game of strategy, Nyota." Spock said. "Much like chess."

"I really dislike you right now." she said, but both of them knew that she didn't mean it. He stopped her, and pressed a light kiss to her lips as he reopened the link.

"Five days will not be so long, my _ashayam_." he said.

But to her, five days had never felt more like an eternity.

And she really, really needed to get back at him.

**A/N: So, how was my first attempt at intimate scenes? And it's Poll Time! **

**Should I:**

**1. Switch this whole story over to an M rating (because I think after the previous chapter and this one, I may need to show some steaminess in the caves).**

**2. Just have the caves as a separate chapter and keep this one where it is. **

**Or:**

**3. Not do any steaminess at all.**

**If you want your opinion counted, please vote! Majority rules, so make yourself heard!**


	17. Provocative

**A/N: Okay, it seems that the majority of my reviewers think I should just switch the story to M...so I'm going to switch it after this chapter. Just a heads up. **

**Minimal steaminess in this chapter, although there **_**is **_**fluff...I'm waiting for the next one, so I can be a bit more free with the descriptions ;)**

**Chapter 17: Provocative**

Spock wondered if he had gone too far. Nyota had been much more quiet than usual all evening, and had gone to bed without even saying good night to him...it was illogical to be disturbed by something so simple as the absence of two words, but he was.

He had watched her closely throughout dinner- he saw that under her brown skin, she was still flushed, and if he inhaled deeply as he stood beside her, he could smell her arousal. It did not seem that anyone else had noticed...in fact, no one even seemed to have noticed their absence.

He had overheard his father telling T'Shan about the gathering that morning, and later on he and Nyota had walked past the Embassy. He had taken note of the alleyway, which would offer privacy in the darkness of night. It was then that he began to plan his next move in their game...the entire venture had been planned, start to finish, save for the _ka'athyra_. That, he had done almost on impulse. Nyota had wanted to hear him play...and what better song to play for her, than one that symbolized their lovemaking? It had been a risk to play such a passionate, personal song in public, but he was sure that no one had recognized the hidden connotations in the song. Only his Nyota had known precisely what it was about.

He did feel slightly guilty for bringing her to the very edge of climax before abandoning her. He was usually much more concerned with her pleasure than his, and had never left her needing completion before. But it was a game...and she had started it. He had wanted no part in this from the very beginning, and he was determined to show her that he could contain himself better than she could- he was teaching her a lesson: _never _tease a Vulcan.

Now it was time for breakfast. He watched as she sat across from him and began to pile her plate with the fresh fruit T'Shan had just gotten from the food center. She was barely meeting his eyes...he had not thought that she was truly angry with him the night before, but perhaps he had been wrong.

"Nyota?" he said her name in a low voice. She looked up from her plate, her dark eyes meeting his without wavering.

"What?" she asked. Spock tilted his head.

"You seem agitated." he replied. She rolled her eyes and speared a piece of fruit with her fork.

"Hmm. Wonder why." she said. Then she smiled. "I'm just trying to think of a good way to get you back."

He wondered what her plan was thus far. He would never admit it her, but he was looking forward to her next move. This game _did _have its merits...Nyota was very creative, so there was no knowing what she would do...

"Have you formulated any possibilities as of yet?" he asked. Nyota picked up an unsliced, skinned kiwi from her plate, and placed one end of it between her lips, her tongue darting out to taste the fruit, sliding over the green flesh slowly as she kept her eyes on him.

"I'm getting some ideas." she said, her eyes sparkling. Spock watched as she took the kiwi partway into her mouth, sucking on it gently, tongue laving the underside seductively, before biting down.

It did give him certain...thoughts.

He continued to watch her consume the kiwi, until T'Shan came in from the hallway. He tore his eyes away from the enticing scene before him to look at the Vulcan woman.

"T'Pau has contacted me. She requests that Miss Uhura come to her today at 1000 hours for instruction." T'Shan said, her hands folded before her, head bowed as she stood at the head of the table.

"And she shall." Spock said, looking back at Nyota- he was relieved to find that she had finished the kiwi. T'Shan left again- she had errands in the city. They would be alone for at least two hours.

"What sort of instruction?" she asked curiously. "I mean...I don't think she's going to teach me how to seduce you." She grinned.

"I do not believe you need training in that area." Spock replied dryly. "T'Pau must guide you through the particulars of the ceremony. She will also instruct you on how to behave as a Vulcan's wife."

"I see." Nyota said, and pushed away her now-empty plate. She took a sip of her tea before continuing. "And what will _you _be doing all day, my _adun_?"

"I do not yet know." Spock replied, folding his hands before him. "I may go to the Embassy."

"Will you be taking any Vulcan women down the alleyway for a quickie?" she teased. Spock rose an eyebrow, which she smiled at. For some reason, she always smiled when his eyebrow went up. It was a mystery he would inquire about at an opportune time in the future.

"As you know, Vulcans are intensely monogamous, Nyota." Spock said, as he stood from the table. "We mate for life."

"It was a joke, Spock." Nyota said, and she stood also, reaching out to take his hand, leading him out into the living room.

"I did not find it humorous."

"Sometimes jokes aren't." she said with a shrug. She pushed him down onto the sofa and joined him, sitting sideways with her legs draped over his lap. "I want to just sit with you for a moment." she explained, somehow knowing even through the closed link that he was wondering what she was up to. She leaned her head against the back of the sofa and closed her eyes.

"I do not understand. It was my belief that jokes are meant to be humorous." he said, sliding one hand under the long skirt of her gown to stroke one smooth calf.

"Most of the time, yes. But sometimes a joke can just be something that you say without meaning it." Nyota replied, eyes still closed. They did not say anything for several minutes. Spock continued to stroke her leg, almost absentmindedly, and she simply sat there with her eyes shut, enjoying the sensation.

"Nyota, I have been considering what Elder Spock said. I believe I know what happened differently in this time line to bring us together." Spock said. Nyota opened her eyes to look at him.

"What is it?" she asked, and he knew from her tone that she was interested.

"Do you recall what you were studying in Lieutenant Braxton's Physics class when you fell behind and required tutoring?" he asked. Her brow furrowed as she struggled to remember. He really did pity humans for their poor memories.

"I'm not sure. I think it had something to do with black holes." she replied. Once she had said it, her eyes widened. "Oh." she breathed.

"You had been given an assignment about the U.S.S. Kelvin and the theory that the enemy ship came through a black hole." Spock said, moving his fingers up her leg to her knee, drawing idle circles around her kneecap. "The assignment had been worth half the quarter's grade. You sought out my help to explain black holes so you could complete it."

"Huh." Nyota said, now smiling. "Imagine that. All it took was one instructor who assigned me to that project..."

"If Nero had not disrupted this time line, you would not have been assigned to that thesis. You would not have sought my instruction." Spock said. Nyota leaned forward to kiss him, one hand coming up to stroke his jaw.

"I guess something good _did_ come out of all this." she said quietly. "I'm glad I had to do that assignment, even if I hated it at the time. I almost feel sorry for Elder Spock, because he never got to have _this_." she gestured between them to indicate their relationship.

"He appears to have no regrets. He lived his life well without you." Spock replied. Nyota's eyebrows shot up.

"Are you saying that you're okay with that? You don't care that in an alternate reality, we were never together?"

"It is unnecessary to concern ourselves with it. That reality no longer exists, Nyota. All of that has been changed." Spock replied, sensing danger. What had he said to provoke the anger that was now flashing in her eyes, making her jaw clench, her chin jut out defiantly?

"So you think you would be just fine without me." It was not a question.

"In that reality, I was quite obviously able to exist independently. If we had never been together in this reality as well, I would even now be content with my life. But as we _are_ together, that is quite different." Spock said. Her features softened, and he was relieved. She moved further up on the sofa, so that she was now partially sitting on his lap.

"Of course. I'm being stupid." she said, and laid her head against his shoulder. "It's just...I don't like the fact that it was a fluke that we ended up together. If things had happened like they _should_ have, I would never have had you, and this just feels so _right_, that I can't imagine my life turning out any different."

"This line of thought is illogical. There is no need to worry over what _may_ have happened. What does matter is what is happening now." Spock replied, placing an arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him. He opened the link to send her love, and she reciprocated.

"You're very logical, you know that?" she said, and he felt her amusement.

"Thank you, _adun'a_." he replied, and she gave a short laugh. She laid a hand on his chest, and moved it down to where his heart was. "As for your earlier statement...perhaps the 'fluke' was that we were not together in the other reality...not that we _are_ together in this one."

"What makes you say that?"

"We are obviously very compatible. We are attracted to one another, we are both dedicated to our careers and to Starfleet, we share many interests and have stimulating conversations often. Humans believe in 'soul-mates' do they not?"

Nyota smiled. "Some of us do. I know _I_ do."

"Then you must believe that we are soul-mates. If that is so, we were meant to be together in the other time line as well...something prevented us from it."

"That is a very good theory, Commander." Nyota said teasingly. "And speaking of 'stimulating'..." she smiled as she trailed off, and her hand slid from his side down to his thigh, resting there.

He rose an eyebrow, which she again smiled at, but he did not stop her as her hand inched higher, higher...until she reached her goal. He could have easily suppressed his reaction, it would have taken hardly any effort to control his arousal...but he did not. He closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling slowly as she squeezed him into hardness. She leaned forward and began to nibble on the tip of his right ear...Her hand moved against him slowly, massaging the stiffening flesh...he did not tell her to stop. He could have, but he did not want her to...he fought back a groan, instead using the link to express how much he enjoyed it.

Suddenly, he heard something from outside the house. He shoved her hand away hurriedly, moving her off his lap swiftly, at the same time concentrating on making his _lok_ soften. Nyota was puzzled.

"Spock?" she questioned. He did not reply- there was no time. The front door opened and his father came in. He heard a small sigh from beside him, and felt her disappointment.

"Father." Spock said, standing, completely composed once more. There was not so much as a hint that he had been highly aroused only 20.8 seconds before.

He knew it was illogical, but he resented his father at that moment. Although he knew Nyota would not have finished him off, he had been enjoying it all the same.

"Spock." Sarek said. He glanced to where Nyota still sat, rearranging her skirt around her legs, pointedly not looking up. Spock was satisfied to find that her plan to arouse him had 'backfired'. She had been just as aroused as he had been- and while the effects of his were already gone, she was still grappling with hers.

From the way Sarek's eyebrows rose, Spock knew his father had deduced that they were not as innocent as they tried to seem. He said nothing- much to their relief.

"I have come from a meeting with the Terran ambassadors." Sarek said, turning to walk into the hallway. Spock followed him. "They have agreed to loan five billion credits more. It is not what we hoped for, but it must do."

"How much funding does New Vulcan currently have?" Spock asked. Sarek turned to his son solemnly.

"Thirty billion credits. A dismal amount. Much of that is used to pay for necessities, not for building. If we do not garner more financial support, we will be unable to continue."

"The Terrans do not seem willing to assist us further." Spock replied. "Have you considered turning to other sources? There are other planets in the Federation willing to help, although none as wealthy as Earth.."

They sat at the dining room table to continue their conversation.

___________________________________________________________

Nyota listened in disbelief. Barely a minute ago, she had been feeling him up...and he had _definitely_ liked it...how was he able to talk about finances already? She was barely composed, herself. She wished she had _that_ Vulcan ability.

She stayed on the sofa, listening to the low rumble of masculine voices in the other room. She laid back and closed her eyes. _Why_ did Sarek have to come home right then? She had _just_ been putting her newest plan into action...and it definitely would have left Spock wanting more. But maybe it was good that he had come in before things got too carried away...it would have been _extremely _embarrassing if he had walked in on a different scene...her plan would just have to wait.

She was almost dozing by the time Spock came back. He sat beside her, touching her cheek.

"I am to escort you to T'Pau's." Spock said. She had almost forgotten that she was supposed to go. She yawned and sat up, pulling at the high collar of her dark gray robe. As she did, she felt something from Spock...

"What are you so smug about?" she asked, frowning. He reached out and pulled down her collar, exposing her neck...and the dark love bites he had left there the night before. She moved his hand away and covered them back up. "Well, those are better than that bite mark you left that one time. I think _everyone_ saw it."

She was talking about a bite mark he had left on the space between her neck and shoulder, shortly after his return to the Enterprise three months before. Ever since then, he had made sure to bite below the clothing line...she didn't understand _why_ he insisted on biting her, but she had grown used to it- she even liked it. It marked her as _his_.

He was still feeling rather pleased with himself as he led her outside, to the hover-car. Nyota rolled her eyes at him, but she was smiling.

T'Pau's home was clear on the other side of Vafer-tor'es. It looked no different from any other domicile on New Vulcan. It was a one-story, tan-colored stone structure.

"You must go alone." Spock said, and reached over to catch her sleeve just as she was about to leave the hover-car. "I will be here at 1400 hours to get you."

"And?" Nyota asked. The corners of his lips twitched upward.

"My father believes that I will get you at 1500 hours...and I must go to the Embassy before then. He will be unaware of our whereabouts before 1500."

She slowly realized what he was suggesting. She grinned.

"Oh, you just wait, Mr. Spock." she breathed before leaning forward to kiss him. "You'll regret that hour."

"I intend to allow you to exact revenge for my behavior last night." he said in a low voice, and nipped her bottom lip playfully before pulling away. She had to force herself to get out of the vehicle- and when she did, her legs felt like jelly. She hated that he had that effect on her- and all it took was a few words in that low tone he reserved just for her, and one piercing, burning stare.

She made her way up to the house, and paused at the door. Before she could decide whether or not to knock, it opened. She glanced back at the hover-car, where Spock watched her, and walked over the threshold.

The house was dimly lit with candles, the windows covered in heavy drapes, casting everything into semi-darkness. The orange flickering of the candlelight was eerie, and so was the silence.

"The candlelight eases me into meditation when my mind is troubled." came a voice from the shadows. Nyota looked around, and spotted a woman kneeling on the middle of the floor on a cushion. Nyota came closer, and raised her hand in the Vulcan salute.

"_Dif-tor heh smusma_, T'Pau." Nyota said.

"_Sochya eh dif_, Ms. Uhura." T'Pau responded. "Sit." she added, gesturing toward a cushion before her. Nyota smoothed her gown over her knees and knelt as T'Pau had. From only three feet away, Nyota had a better view of the Vulcan. She was old- much older than T'Shan. Her hair was heavily streaked with gray, and braided back in an elaborate style. Her robes were simple, with very few embellishments. Her face was heavily lined, her eyes sharp as they reflected the flickering flames that surrounded them.

"S'chn T'Gai Sarek has consulted me regarding your illegitimate bonding to Spock." T'Pau said. Nyota wasn't sure whether or not she was supposed to respond, so she settled with a nod. "I have agreed to assist in the correction of this sacrilege. Know this- I have only agreed because Spock came for the elders on Vulcan before it was destroyed. I still have my life because of him, and Vulcan still has what remains of its culture. What you have done- while not entirely your fault- is despicable to all Vulcans and an insult to our efforts to preserve tradition."

Nyota wanted to wince at the bluntness of T'Pau's words, but she didn't want to convey weakness. She did not look away as the elder continued to study her.

"I shall speak to Spock before the ceremony, also. He will hear much more about this than you will- you are human and cannot be held entirely accountable. Spock was aware of the importance of the wedding ceremony when he established the bond."

T'Pau finally looked away, and Nyota let out the tiniest of relieved sighs. Her dark eyes were cold and hard...not at all like Spock's, which radiated at least _some_ warmth.

"Now that I have properly reprimanded you, I must instruct you on how to behave around Vulcans. You are human and therefore cannot be expected to be one of us...but there are Terran mannerisms that you must abandon when on New Vulcan..."

Nyota listened to the old woman's voice as she ennumerated the many things Nyota could no longer do...she was no longer allowed to smile or touch anyone other than her bond mate in public...she could not speak to elders before being spoken to first...while other humans were allowed to wear Terran clothes on New Vulcan, she was not allowed because by marrying Spock, she was 'becoming' Vulcan...

The list went on. And on. She would have to struggle to remember it all...and then T'Pau made her practice different forms of greetings and demonstrate proper behavior in certain situations.

She decided that she was quite glad that she wasn't going to live on New Vulcan. The restrictions on her behavior and lifestyle were ridiculous.

Once T'Pau was assured that Nyota had learned all of this, she then told her what to expect of the wedding ceremony. By the time 1400 hours came around, she was mentally exhausted.

She said the appropriate farewells to T'Pau and walked out, blinking, into the bright sunshine. The heat, which she had forgotten about while in the surprisingly cool house, stifled her almost immediately.

Nyota had never been happier to see Spock waiting in the hover-car...and she grinned as she got in. They would have a whole hour to themselves...and she planned to use it to torture Spock...

**A/N: I know, not much happened in this chapter. But there will be some definite hotness in the next one...don't forget, I'm switching it to M!**

**I think there is one more chapter after this before the wedding ceremony, and the caves...  
**


	18. Fervid

**A/N: Definitely some smut in this chapter...but I think the caves will be in the next chapter. Just to warn you though, after they get back on the Enterprise there won't be as many sex scenes. Occasionally, sure, but smut isn't the main focus of my story...just reminding you ;)**

**Chapter 18: Fervid**

"So where are you going to take me, Commander?" Nyota asked, leaning over to nuzzle against Spock's neck as he piloted the hover-car.

"Somewhere...secluded." Spock replied as she grazed her teeth against his skin, biting down lightly. She placed her arms around him, curling up against his side.

"How did you get your father to believe that you were picking me up at 1500?"

"I told him that I would return with you at that time. He did not inquire into the matter."

"You don't feel guilty for misleading him?" she asked, now tracing lazy circles on his stomach, resting her cheek against his shoulder.

"I did tell him the truth." Spock replied. He turned onto a nearly-deserted stretch of road that led away from Vafer-tor'es. Nyota smiled...he knew that she was about to get back at him, but he was allowing it- inviting it, even. He would never admit it to her, she knew...but he _enjoyed _being teased.

_I guess Vulcans do have some kinks, after all_, Nyota mused. Well, other than the biting...he definitely had a biting kink. But it appeared he had a control kink too- he liked it when she was in charge.

Spock turned the vehicle again, and Nyota saw that he was leaving the road- heading toward a cluster of large boulders half a mile off the road. She snickered.

"You're really getting into this, aren't you?" Nyota asked, still tracing the circles on his stomach...her fingers slowly worked their way downward.

"Privacy is necessary." Spock replied evenly. He pulled in behind the rocks, so that they were completely shielded from view.

"I never would have thought that you would be this eager to get me alone." Nyota said, smirking.

"These past few days may have taken their toll on my control." Spock said in a low voice that was almost a growl. She shivered at the sound of it, feeling her body react, becoming warmer, _wetter_. If this was what he was like _now_, there was no telling what a few more days would do to him...suddenly, her anticipation for the caves increased tenfold.

She expected him to get out, and moved away to allow it- but instead, he climbed over the partition, into the back of the vehicle. Then he reached back over the seats, taking her by the wrists, and pulling her back with him. She yelped in surprise, but then laughed as he pulled her over, landing on top of him.

"I saw no reason to get out." Spock said into her ear. She was still shaking with laughter.

"Smooth, Spock." she said, and kissed him, licking his bottom lip teasingly. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tightly.

She pulled away, and pushed his back against the seat, perched on his lap.

"Now, where were we earlier?" she asked, her hands sliding from his shoulders, down his chest, his stomach...

"I believe that is a rhetorical question, as I am sure that your human memory capacity is not that poor." Spock replied, watching as her hands slid even lower, hovering just above the place he wanted her to touch the most.

"Spock, _k'diwa_, in a few minutes you won't even remember what 'rhetorical' means." she said with a grin. She moved one hand down the rest of the way...finding a very sizable bulge. "I see you're anticipating this." she said, squeezing his _lok_ through the fabric of his pants. Even through the cloth, she could feel the intense heat radiating off of him.

He did not reply...perhaps he couldn't, because at that moment Nyota began to unfasten his pants, her fingers brushing against him. She freed him from his confines. But instead of continuing, she drew her hands away and leaned forward to kiss him.

"Do you remember the night of that academy dinner, when we went back to your quarters together, shortly after we became official?" Nyota asked. Spock's eyes widened a fraction of an inch.

"Nyota." he said warningly. "I asked you not to attempt that again."

"Well..." Nyota smirked, and kissed him again. "This is a game, after all...and I know one thing that will bring you right to the edge of your control."

"Nyota..." he began again, but she was already sliding off of his lap so that she was kneeling before him on her knees. She slid his pants down his long legs...his protests died away as she took him into her hand again, stroking the swollen column of green-tinged flesh. Unable to say anything verbally, he opened the link, sharing his apprehension with her.

"You'll be fine, Spock." Nyota said, smirking again. She tightened her fingers slightly around the base of his burning-hot _lok_.

_"It is not me that I am worried about."_ Spock replied.

Instead of replying, she leaned forward- and like she had teased him with the kiwi that morning, flicked her tongue over the tip, slowly, just barely touching him. She heard him exhale in a sigh above her as she eased her lips around it, kissing the sensitive skin.

_"Do you still want me to stop?" _she asked him as she ran her tongue over the slit. He didn't reply...across the link she only felt the burn of his arousal.

She had done this once before to him...with very interesting results. They had not been together long at the time, and Spock had never had intimate contact before...so when she performed this act on him, he had been very vocal and almost out of control. Later, he had told her that he was ashamed, because he could have easily been too forceful with her. He had asked her not to do this again...but she had never really promised. Nyota had longed to try it again for months.

She looked up at him as she took the head of his _lok _into her mouth, tightening her lips around him as she did, her tongue tracing patterns on the underside. His eyes were closed, lips slightly parted as he took in a sharp breath. She added pressure, and saw him swallow, hard. She felt his arousal spike, and as it did, so did hers. She moaned against him, the vibrations only increasing his pleasure.

Nyota began to move her head, slowly up and down, taking more of him into the warm, wet cavern of her mouth. Above her, his breath hitched. One of his hands moved, coming to a rest on the back of her head...he did not push her, he only rested it there, stroking her hair as he took out her hairband and tossed it aside. Her hair fell around her shoulders, tickling his thighs.

She paused to suck gently on the head again, her hand still moving along his length, which glistened from her saliva. She could tell that he wouldn't last long this way. When he made love to her, he could hold on for as long as he needed to...but for some reason, he couldn't when it came to this.

Nyota glanced up at her _adun _as her mouth surrounded him again. There was a definite green flush to his cheeks and the tips of his ears, and his eyes were just barely open, dark and glimmering with lust as he watched her lips envelop him. She pressed her tongue harder against him, and allowed her teeth to graze the sensitive skin. His eyes slipped closed for a second, and a low moan escaped him. When she heard the sound, she felt the ache between her legs intensify. She so rarely got to hear proof of his enjoyment...

She seemed to have cracked his already-fragile control. He made more sounds as she continued to move her head, sliding him in and out of her mouth, applying more and more pressure, her tongue swirling against the underside, around the head. Soon both hands were clutching at her hair, his head thrown back- still not pushing her, only holding on as if afraid that if he let go of her, he would lose the last of his control. And maybe he would.

She could feel his climax approaching. She had to stop at just the right time, just like he had done to her...

Suddenly, he thrust his hips forward slightly, letting out a louder groan than before, and she stopped just in time, leaning away from him. She felt his frustration and disappointment. She had made him forget that this was a game.

"Remember, Commander." she said as she smirked at him. His eyes were open, on fire as they looked at her. "It's a rule...no orgasms. You set that one yourself, last night."

He was breathing harder than normal, his jaw clenched. The look on his face could only be described as a glare. Yes, he had lost control- or almost, anyway.

Without warning, he leaned forward, his hands closing around her waist, lifting her up. She gasped in surprise as he threw her onto the car seat, onto her back. He hovered over her, and for a moment she wondered if he would take her in the way she wanted him to, the game forgotten...he lifted her skirt, pushing it up around her waist, revealing her panties. He hooked two fingers around the waistband and pulled them down, tossing them aside like he had the hairband.

"Spock..." just like the night before, it was both an entreaty for him to continue, but also to stop...she wanted him inside her, but she didn't want the game to be over already...

He kissed her, roughly, his tongue sliding over hers, and she moaned against his mouth...he moved down, until he was kissing the insides of her thighs, and she knew that he wasn't out of control enough to lose the game. Next, she felt his hot breath puffing against her sex, and that alone was enough to make her toss her head back, licking her lips as she breathed hard. "Oh, please." she said, she herself forgetting that there would be no release.

He kissed the moist folds, tongue darting out to taste her. She bit her lip, hard, almost drawing blood. His hands were on her hips, holding her in place so that she couldn't control his movements. He began to trace circles around the bundle of nerves at the top of her vulva, almost but not quite touching...already, she could feel the knot in her lower stomach tightening, tightening, about to explode...she heard someone moaning...was that her? It must have been, but everything but the wonderful sensations that she was experiencing was distant to her.

Suddenly, he was gone, and she wanted to cry from her frustration. When she opened her eyes, he was beside her, stroking her cheeks.

"Stupid game." she muttered. How much longer of this could she take? How many more almost-orgasms could she handle before dying of sexual frustration?

"You started it." he whispered, his voice husky.

"I don't want to do it any more." she grumbled. Her arousal was as strong as ever, but slowly receding due to lack of stimulation...oh god, she just remembered that there was still four more days of this...

"Then we will not do this." Spock said, gesturing to their half-nakedness. He leaned over to retrieve her panties from the floor of the hover-car, and slid them back on for her. Then he smoothed her gown back over her legs.

"I want you." she said, reaching for him, but he stopped her.

"No. You expressed a wish to wait until we get to the caves. I agree with this. We will wait...but we will refrain from further activities, also. I very nearly did take you. I will not lose this game, _adun'a_."

"Spock, I give up on the stupid game." Nyota growled. He leaned forward to kiss her...she could taste herself on his lips.

"I do not." he said. She groaned and rested her head against his chest. She felt like she was on fire. Spock sent her calm and contentment over the bond, and she felt herself relaxing, the ache going away. Soon, she was at peace. She noticed that Spock had also taken the time to refasten his pants, although she didn't remember it. Nyota began to snicker against his neck.

"What is so humorous?" he asked, stroking her jaw and turning her face to his.

"Your father and T'Shan are trying so hard to keep us away from each other. And we're in the back of his hover-car. Ironic, don't you think? This is the sort of thing teenagers do...sneak around to be together in their parents' cars."

"Not Vulcan teenagers." Spock replied.

"No...but human teenagers." she said, still grinning as she wrapped her arms around him. "So what's the score now?"

"Seven to five." Spock replied. She pulled back to look at him quizzically.

"No...it should be five to four." she said slowly. "One point for me, one for you."

"You are incorrect." Spock said, adjusting himself so that he leaned over her, his breath hot against her ear. "I award you three points for your actions. One for mine."

"Why three?" she asked, her smile widening.

"That is an illogical question, as you are aware of the effect oral stimulation has on me." Spock replied, raising an eyebrow.

"I'll keep it in mind for the caves." she whispered conspiratorially, and kissed him. Yes, the caves were going to be _very_ interesting...

______________________________________________________

When they arrived at the house, T'Shan watched them closely- and if Nyota didn't know any better, she would say that she was suspicious. She told herself she was being paranoid. But then why did T'Shan keep eying her hair? She reached up to feel it...without a brush or a mirror to put it back up, it was probably a mess. But that could have been caused by anything...wind, for an example. Except that there was hardly any wind that day in Vafer-tor'es. She cleared her throat and threw a sideways glance at Spock as they took seats in their chairs in the living room. _Why_ did he have to mess up her hair? That could be the sole indicator that they had spent some time alone together.

_"I assure you that I was quite unconscious of doing it." _Spock replied, and she saw his lips quirk upwards smugly.

She suppressed a grin, thinking back to his reactions...other than that first time, she had never seen him so vocal and..._responsive_. It was indescribably sexy. He was usually just as quiet and controlled as ever- relatively so, anyway. She would definitely have to experiment with that more in the future.

"I trust T'Pau has thoroughly educated you." Sarek said. He sat before them, looking through a data PADD.

"Yes, sir." Nyota said. She paused, unsure if she should speak her mind on the matter. "I think I'm glad I'm not staying here. From what she said, I can't even be myself here. She seems to think I should become Vulcan and adopt the ways of Surak."

"That is not true, Nyota." Spock said. "However, if you act in certain human ways around other Vulcans, it could potentially be an embarrassing or insulting situation. I have no expectations for you to adopt the ways of Surak. If I had wanted a Vulcan wife, I would have married one."

"Are you suggesting that I can be embarrassing and insulting?" she asked, half-teasing, half-serious.

"Not at all." Spock replied. "I was speaking of how other Vulcans, who are unfamiliar with humans, may interpret certain things. My father and I are so familiar with humans that your odd mannerisms no longer affect us."

"Odd mannerisms?" Nyota asked, raising her eyebrows. "You'd better watch it, Commander."

Sarek watched the exchange with an unreadable expression...but Nyota somehow knew that he was both amused and saddened by it.

"I have never understood that phrase. What am I supposed to watch?" Spock asked, and she felt his amusement.

"Now you're being deliberately obtuse." she said, trying her best not to roll her eyes. _"What I mean is...you'd better watch what you're saying or I'm going to withhold from you when we get to the caves." _Of course, both of them knew she was bluffing.

_"I would find a way to seduce you." _Spock replied, and he sent her an image as an example- a picture of her pressed against the stone wall of a cave, her legs wrapped around his waist as he moved against her...she had to fight hard against a shiver. She felt herself flush, and her arousal reawakened.

_"You are such a tease." _Nyota thought at him, and then closed the link. Really, sometimes it was hard for her to believe that Spock had such a dirty, erotic side to him. Then he would make it obvious, like he just had...he was Vulcan, but that did not prevent him from having sex, or _wanting _to have sex.

"Spock, I have heard just an hour ago that there was an incident on Kathosia recently." Sarek now said. Both Spock and Nyota came crashing back down to New Vulcan at that. She glanced over at him, and then away...he obviously hadn't told Sarek about what had happened. If ever there was a mood-killer, it was definitely having Kathosia and the _Koshaak_ mentioned. Her arousal was effectively killed.

There was an uncomfortable silence. She felt Spock's eyes on her, but she refused to meet them. Why couldn't they have gone a week without having that brought up? She knew it was a painful subject for Spock...just like how Scorpius Three was painful for her. Sarek seemed to realize that something was wrong.

"Were either of you involved?" he asked.

Nyota looked sideways at Spock again. He was studying a point on the wall past his father's chair. Neither of them replied.

"The leader of the planet was killed, apparently." Sarek said slowly, his gaze leveled on Spock. "He was found to have fallen from a balcony. Starfleet sent investigators, since the death was linked to an away mission there. The results were inconclusive...there was no evidence of foul play, yet the death was not believed to be suicidal or coincidental."

Sarek continued to stare at his son. Tension was thick in the room...

"It is my belief." Sarek finally said. "That sometimes, it is necessary to protect oneself- or one's family- even if it includes murder. I am sure that whoever had a hand in the leader's death had a logical reason."

It was obvious that he knew...and he was telling Spock not to be ashamed. Nyota found this odd- how had Sarek known that Spock was ashamed for losing control? Only she knew that...

Spock clasped his hands together, finally focusing his eyes on his father. "What if the reason was not logical?"

"Then I am sure there was an equally good illogical reason." Sarek replied. Nyota looked between the two...it was obvious that their previously-strained relationship had eased somewhat since their arrival. She was grateful that they had come.

They were well on their way to legitimizing their marriage...Sarek and Spock's relationship had been, if not healed, at least improved...she had a break from working every day on the bridge, a break from the risks their life held. She had time to spend with her _adun_.

She realized that she was content for the first time in a long, long time. And when she opened the link to feel Spock, she found that he was, too.

**A/N: A fairly short chapter...but that's because the next one will be longer. **

**I'm not sure that I like how I ended the chapter...it was kind of abrupt. But that's because I couldn't think of anything else for this chapter. Let me know what you think!**


	19. Amending

**A/N: I have no idea what exactly a Vulcan wedding/bonding ceremony includes. I have seen a picture of it from ST: Enterprise, and I've seen Amok Time from TOS two or three times, but there's still not enough information. So I combined what I saw in the picture and in TOS, and added a few elements of my own. **

**Chapter 19: Amending**

Nyota wasn't quite sure how she managed to get through the next four days.

She and Spock tried their best to avoid being alone. After their activities in the hover-car, both knew that they wouldn't be able to restrain themselves much longer. Occasionally, when Nyota opened the link unexpectedly (as he had firmly told her before that she did not need to ask his permission, even though he _always _asked her) she would find him thinking about that secret rendezvous. She was amused to find just how much he had enjoyed it...and how much he wanted her to do it again, this time to completion.

They still weren't entirely innocent. When no one was looking, there were subtle touches. His hand would graze against her breast, or hers would brush against the crotch of his pants. Nothing too dangerous for either of them...but each touch ignited flames in her lower belly, and she began to think more and more about the cave that awaited them. Seven whole days, just the two of them, no interruptions....she shivered in anticipation. She decided that there were certain Vulcan customs that she liked _very _much.

Even being in the same room with him was difficult- but having him in her head was much worse. Both of them burned for one another- and when their minds connected, desire, arousal, and _need _engulfed them. It became too much, so they kept the bond closed most of the time.

It was ridiculous. It hadn't been _that_ long since they had last had sex...only a week. Then again, ever since their bonding they had become accustomed to a _very_ active sex life...and even before the bonding, they had sex at least five or six times a week, which was more than most married couples. So a week to them was more like a month or even two to other couples.

She didn't want to admit that they may be addicts...but was there _really_ anything wrong with that?

Nyota sat on her bed as she thought about these things. She sensed a presence standing just outside her field of peripheral vision, and looked up. Spock stood there in the open doorway, watching her. She smiled and stood.

"What do you want?" she asked. The sun was going down now, casting most of the room into shadow. She turned back to the half-packed bag that sat on her bed. The ceremony was the next afternoon...and after that little ritual was completed, they would be escorted to the cave, which was being prepared even at that moment for their arrival.

"I believe you know what I want." Spock said, his voice low, suggestive. Nyota smiled to herself and shook her head.

"Tomorrow, _k'diwa_." she said, and Spock came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her.

"Tomorrow." he agreed, and kissed the place behind her left ear. She sighed and leaned her head back against him, placing her hands over his where they rested on her stomach.

"Where is your father and T'Shan?" she asked, eyes slipping closed.

"T'Shan is preparing dinner. My father is speaking to Elder Spock on the comm." Spock replied. Nyota nodded. This was the way it had been...when everyone else was busy, they stole a few moments for themselves.

Spock moved his head so that his cheek pressed against hers, and he inhaled deeply as he opened the link. She knew that he was scenting her...she had learned since bonding with him that he liked her natural scent.

"I am Vulcan. I do not 'like' anything. Like implies emotional attachment." Spock said, turning his head to press several light kisses to her jaw.

"You 'like' me, don't you?" she asked teasingly.

"I can find certain things to be pleasing." Spock said. "Pleasing does not necessarily connote emotional attachment."

"Oh, really?" she asked, with a soft laugh. "Give me an example."

"Very well..." Spock said, and both of his hands moved up to cup her breasts, his thumbs moving over the hardening nipples. They tingled with tiny bolts of electricity, which shot directly to her core. She gave a very quiet groan. "This is physically pleasing to you, as well as to me." he said, and pressed the evidence against her behind. She laughed again.

"Are you saying that you only like me for my body? I would expect that from Jim Kirk, but not from you." she said, still smiling.

"I did not say that you _only_ physically please me. I said to be 'pleased' does not _necessarily_ connote emotional attachment." Spock said, now gently kneading her breasts. Her nipples were now straining against the fabric of the gray gown she wore. He began to slowly rub himself against her, as well...she could feel his _lok_ hardening and growing even more.

"I thought we were done with this sort of teasing." Nyota said, her breath catching in her throat.

"Tomorrow all teasing will be over." Spock said, and he released her breasts, stepping away from her. She immediately missed his warmth. She turned to face him.

"You know, I'm seeing a whole new side to you. I never realized just how much you like sex." she said. He did not reply to that comment...instead, he moved close to her once again, capturing her lips in a warm kiss. Then he leaned his forehead against hers.

"I suggest that you get a minimum of eight hours of sleep tonight, my _adun'a_. You will need it." he said, and then he kissed her one last time, her lips tingling when he pulled away again. He gave her one last, heated look, and then left.

Her legs were trembling, and she had to sit down to compose herself. A week of teasing, of almost-fulfillment, was too much. She needed him, badly.

____________________________________________________________

It was after dinner, and Spock had retired to his room for his evening meditation. Sarek was in the living room, looking over the most recent financial reports...Nyota was reading from the data PADD she had borrowed from Spock.

She was just setting it aside when T'Shan came in quietly, carrying a package.

"T'Lang has sent this. It is the gown you will wear tomorrow." T'Shan said, as Nyota stood to take it.

"Thank you." She had met with the Vulcan seamstress two days before to be fitted for the gown. She hung it up in the closet, and turned to find that T'Shan was still watching her. "Is there something else?" Nyota asked.

"There is something I must discuss with you." T'Shan said. Nyota's brow furrowed in confusion.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I knew Lady Amanda for many years. I know things about her that many others do not know- including _osu _Spock. If she were here, she would tell you of the things I mean to tell you. She would think of it as her duty."

"Please continue." Nyota said, gesturing toward the bed, but T'Shan did not move.

"I am aware that you are already bonded to Spock. I cannot change that. But there are things about Vulcans that you do not yet know. Things you will not like- things that may even be detrimental to your health."

Nyota sank onto the bed herself, now, and stared at the Vulcan woman before her. What was T'Shan going on about? she wondered.

"There is a cycle that Vulcan males enter once every seven years of their adult life." T'Shan said. "I am sure Spock has not told you of it. No one speaks of it- it is highly embarrassing. I should not even tell you of it, but if I do not, no one will.

"This cycle is called _Pon Farr_. The time of mating. During this time, the Vulcan male loses all control over his emotions, and must succumb to the need to reproduce with his bonded mate, or risk death. Vulcans are three times as strong as humans- that, combined with lack of control, is dangerous. Lady Amanda struggled through Pon Farr three times. There was one instance where she barely survived it.

"There is no guarantee that Spock will go through Pon Farr, due to his human genetics, because he has not yet- most males start it by age twenty-one. But I find it incumbent upon me to warn you. Lady Amanda was not told until it was too late- she did not know what was wrong with _osu_ Sarek, and she nearly lost her life.

"Lady Amanda once told me that she would have thought twice about bonding with him if she had known it could be so dangerous. But that may have only been because she was in great pain at the time, which could have clouded her mind.

"Divulging this information- while it may not protect you from harm- will allow you to be aware of what is happening should Spock undergo his Time. I have seen what pain it brought my mistress- both mental and physical. Perhaps I can spare you, the wife of her only son."

T'Shan fell silent, her eyes staring hard at the woman sitting on the bed. Nyota stared back- knowing that T'Shan could not be lying. Yet...why had Spock kept this from her? Something that could possibly endanger her? She had thought that he shared everything with her...she had thought that he trusted her with his deepest, darkest secrets. It appeared that she was wrong. She was hurt.

"Thank you, T'Shan." Nyota said quietly. There was a pause. "Is that all?"

T'Shan seemed to be appraising her. Then she nodded once. "Yes, Lady Nyota. That is all."

That was the first time that T'Shan had called her anything other than 'Miss Uhura'. It was also the first time that she had spoken to her directly. She wondered if this meant that T'Shan accepted her as a member of the S'chn T'gai house.

T'Shan turned to leave, and then paused to turn back. "I am not an adequate judge of human character, but I believe that Lady Amanda would have approved of you." Then she was gone.

Nyota watched her go, and then looked down at the data PADD she had just been perusing. She tried to get back into the e-book, but couldn't focus on it. She set it aside and drew her knees up to her chest.

This really wasn't the time to worry about this, she knew...like T'Shan had said, there was a likelihood that Spock wouldn't even go through this 'Pon Farr'. But what if he did? From the sounds of it, he could hurt her, maybe even kill her...she shuddered.

She tried to shove it into the back of her mind. She would talk to Spock about it...but not now, or anytime soon. She would wait until after they left New Vulcan. She wanted to be able to enjoy the rest of their time- she didn't want to spoil it by bringing that up. She was sure that he had a reason for not telling her.

Nyota stood from the bed and stretched. She decided that she would go out to the living room to wait for Spock...usually, after dinner and meditation, he would join Sarek there for a game of chess. While she wasn't fond of the game, she didn't mind simply sitting next to Spock for company.

She padded her way out into the hall, and then to the living room. When she entered, Sarek set aside his PADD.

"Ms. Uhura." he acknowledged. She sat down, unsure of how she should address him- a week, now, and she still didn't know what to call him. She had never been alone in a room with him for long- Spock was almost always with her.

"Ambassador- sir." Nyota said, wincing inwardly.

"You may call me Sarek." he said.

"Well, then you're going to have to call me Nyota." she replied. He blinked at her, and folded his hands before him.

"Very well, Nyota. As of tomorrow, we will be members of the same family, after all."

They fell silent. Nyota studied the man sitting across from her...had he really almost killed his wife? She couldn't imagine Sarek being that out of control...then again, she hadn't imagined that Spock could kill a man either- or at least, be the cause of his death.

How had Amanda handled it? T'Shan had not said that much. How does one cope with the fact that once every seven years, their husband may kill them, or at the very least cause them injury? Had Amanda ever been happy, knowing that information? How can one be happy with someone who could kill them? But she had stayed. She could have left Sarek, but she had not.

Nyota wanted to speak about Amanda to Sarek, who had known her even better than Spock had. But it had to be a painful subject for him...

"Something appears to be troubling you." Sarek observed. Nyota snapped out of her reverie, wondering what she should say now. Before she could decide, he spoke again. "We may not know one another well, but I have learned from my late wife how to listen. Is this in regards to Spock?"

"Well...sort of." Nyota said, and she adjusted herself in her seat, trying to get more comfortable. "I was just wondering...how did Amanda deal with it all? I mean...if it's not too much of me to ask..." she trailed off. Sarek did not look away from her.

"I will answer any inquiries about Amanda that you may have. Your situation in relation to hers is very similar."

"Well...how could she ever be happy? I mean- no offense to you." Nyota added hurriedly, again wincing inwardly. "But there were so many restrictions on her life when she lived on Vulcan...and having a full blooded Vulcan husband can't be easy for...for several reasons..." she trailed off again. Wasn't she supposed to be an expert in linguistics? Why couldn't she form the right words?

Sarek sat back in his chair, his eyes still on her.

"It was a very difficult adjustment for her to make." he said. "On many levels." he added, somewhat dryly. Nyota leaned forward, sensing that he was about to say more.

"Amanda and I met on Earth. I was the newly assigned junior ambassador, and she worked in the Embassy. We knew one another for a year before we journeyed to Vulcan to be bonded- but then we returned to Earth for our first two years of marriage. There were difficulties, of course- similar to those you have experienced with Spock. Mostly lack of understanding on my part. And there were other complications as well, but those need not be discussed."

Nyota had a feeling that she knew what the other complications were...

"When we decided that it was time to have a child, we went back to Vulcan. Highly skilled Vulcan geneticists allowed us to have Spock. But our first few years there were extremely hard for her. As you mentioned, there were many restrictions on her lifestyle. On Earth, she had found our difficulties tolerable, because she was still around her own people, free to live her life as she had before. But on Vulcan, she was expected to be someone entirely different outside of our home...she disliked it, to say the least. Despite this, she was able to find happiness. It was a great sacrifice for her to live on Vulcan- if she had wanted, she could have easily stayed on Earth- I would have allowed it, and I told her as much. She, however, insisted on joining me. If she were entirely unhappy, she would not have stayed on Vulcan.

"So yes...there were difficulties, Nyota. But Amanda was able to make the best of them. She considered herself to be a fortunate woman- a happy woman. Do not think that she was displeased. She was not."

Nyota contemplated this. Sarek would know better than anyone whether or not Amanda was happy...for almost thirty years, he had had a part of her mind in his. She did not believe that Sarek would lie about this. Amanda had been a happy woman- despite the Pon Farr.

She decided that if Amanda could survive three Pon Farrs and still be happy, then it must not be as bad as she had imagined it to be. If Spock ever did go through it...she was sure she would be able to cope with it.

"Have I assisted you at all?" Sarek asked. Nyota nodded slowly.

"Yes. You have- thank you." she said. She was still going to mention it to Spock, though...

At that time, Spock came in from the hallway. He took the chair next to Nyota, to begin the nightly ritual of 3D-chess.

___________________________________________________________

Spock rose early, when the dark sky was only tinged with a hazy gray on the horizon. Sunrise was at least thirty-nine minutes away.

He dressed, and left his room. T'Pau had instructed him to see her at sunrise on this day. He knew what it pertained to, and he was prepared for it. Nyota had warned him of what T'Pau had told her- that she would have words with him also. However, he had known before then.

He opened Nyota's door and allowed himself to look in on her as she slept. It was illogical...but he wanted to see her. She was curled up on her side, the thin sheet tossed away, exposing her bare legs and the over-large shirt she wore to bed- it was one of his black undershirts. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, the faint glow from an outside street light illuminating the glossy strands. He could hear her deep, even breathing.

"Soon, _ashayam_." he whispered, and then he closed the door. Soon, they could be together, unhindered. No Enterprise, no away missions, no Sarek or T'Shan...only them. He missed being able to hold her in his arms, more than he missed the actual joining of their bodies. One of the greatest advantages to only needing three or four hours of sleep was that he could watch _her _sleep for as long as he wished.

He left the house, heading toward the hover-car. It took him 15.3 minutes to arrive at T'Pau's domicile, and by that time the horizon had lightened further, from gray to a light blue. All over New Vulcan, his people were arising...and even now, he could hear workers in the city.

He did not have to announce himself to T'Pau. The door opened before he got there, revealing the old woman. She stepped back to allow him entrance before shutting the door behind him.

"You are early." she noted. Spock glanced around- when describing T'Pau's home to him, Nyota had sent him images of a dark, candlelit room. But now it was much brighter, revealing an assortment of furniture and two piles of cushions on the floor. The candles were extinguished.

After the traditional greetings, T'Pau bade him to kneel on the cushions, and he did so. She took her place opposite him.

"Spock, I am sure that you are aware of why you are here." T'Pau said. Spock did not reply, but bowed his head in acquiescence. "Your father has told me of your doings, and he has told me that he has already reprimanded you. I shall do so further.

"My brother- your grandfather- would be severely disappointed, as your father was upon hearing of your transgression. An illegitimate marriage in the noble S'chn T'gai clan is unheard of. For every generation for thousands of years, our ancestors have observed the marriage rites. You are aware of this- I need not repeat it. I must, however, stress on the fact that I am disappointed with you. As I told your bond mate- I am correcting your mistake because of the service you rendered me on Vulcan. I am also doing this to prevent shame on our clan. No one who will attend the ceremony knows that you are already bonded to Ms. Uhura. I would prefer to keep it that way."

"T'Pau, may I-"

"Silence!" T'Pau said, her arched eyebrows drawing together slightly. "I am not finished speaking."

Spock fell silent. He was unsure what had spurred him into interrupting. Once she was sure that he would not speak again, she continued.

"I wish for you to show me the moment that you bonded with her, so that I may be assured that you did not, indeed, do this deliberately. I must know that it was as you said- brought on by an excess of the human's emotions. If I find that you have done this while fully knowing at that moment what you were doing, I will halt all preparations for the ceremony, and you will be disinherited for rebelling."

Spock had no objections. He remembered precisely what his thought process had been at the time- he had not, at that moment, been aware that his actions would have such dire consequences. He had not considered anything other than the fact that his Nyota wished for the bond, and her determination had taken a forceful hold on him. He leaned forward slightly, indicating that T'Pau was welcome to the meld. She raised her hand and brought it to his temple.

She entered his mind, and he obediently brought forth the memory for her perusal. She sifted through it, separating the violent emotions that had distracted him, both his and Nyota's. After several minutes, she withdrew.

She did not say anything, only looked at him thoughtfully. He did not speak, lest he prompt her to admonish him again.

"Your passion for one another is very great." T'Pau said after several long moments. "A passion as strong as yours would be very difficult to overcome when making such a decision. It is obvious that you were not conscious of your error when it was made."

Spock almost breathed a sigh of relief- but that would have been too human. Perhaps he had spent too much time with Terrans...illogically, even though he had known he was not entirely to blame, there had been a tiny part of him that worried T'Pau would find something else, and order the ceremony canceled. How would he have been able to tell Nyota? And his father...

It was incredibly illogical to worry over something that had not happened. Spock reprimanded himself and turned his attention back to T'Pau.

"You should have maintained better control over yourself." she observed. "But I see no reason to not continue with our plans. Now, this is what we will do..."

___________________________________________________________

It was 1600 hours.

Spock stood at the designated 'marriage grounds'. As New Vulcan contained no ancestral property, a temporary place had been erected halfway between Vafer-tor'es and the caves to accommodate bondings and marriages for its inhabitants.

By tradition, the male's party arrived first at the grounds. Spock stood with his father and Elder Spock, wearing dark blue ceremonial robes. His hands were clasped behind his back as he stood calmly beside them. Five feet to his left was a gong. He closed his eyes briefly...soon, this whole thing would be behind them.

At the appointed time, Spock stepped toward the raised stone dais in the center of the circular area. He stepped onto it, and reached for the mallet that hung beside the gong- then he struck it, the sound reverberating throughout the grounds and echoing against the large boulders that surrounded the enclosure. It reminded him eerily of the _Koshaak_, but he could not allow those thoughts to invade his mind now...not when Nyota would soon be coming.

He waited precisely thirty seconds before striking it again. Another thirty seconds- and then the last clash. He stepped off the dais to wait.

Soon, there came sounds from behind the boulders ahead...a group of people came through the narrow opening, led by T'Pau, who sat in a chair carried by four Vulcan men. Her face was as blank and solemn as ever as she was carried forward...

Behind her were more Vulcans, some were males carrying lirpas. Behind them were women, carrying wooden frames with bells attached, which they shook as they walked- the bells made a lovely sound, pure and melodic, a complete contrast to the loud clanging of the gong.

And then...there she was...

When he caught sight of his_ adun'a_, he could not breathe. He did not think he had ever seen her look as beautiful as she did at that moment.

She wore a red gown...it reminded him of the gown she had worn to the Embassy earlier in the week, but the hue was lighter, and it was made of a different material. The fabric seemed to float around her as she walked, light and thin, highlighting her every curve...he noted that the cloth was flimsy- it would have been see-through if it were not layered. He also noted that it would be easy to rip.

Her hair was down around her shoulders. She had not straightened it- it fell in loose waves, the black tresses glimmering in the sunlight. As he watched her approach, she was struggling not to smile, and failing.

He had never understood what humans meant when they said someone 'glowed'. But now he did- her happiness was making her skin radiant, her cheeks flushed. Her dark brown eyes were sparkling.

When the marriage party stopped and fell silent, T'Pau said something. He did not know what- his gaze was focused on the brilliant woman before him. He had to force himself to listen- he did not want to make a fool of himself.

He turned toward the gong, and raised the mallet one last time- this was the part where if, for whatever reason, the female did not wish to go through with the marriage, she would declare _koon-ut-kalifee_ and choose her champion. However, Nyota did not step forward to stop him- not that he expected her to.

Once the last echoes had dissipated, he hung the mallet up. T'Pau stood from her chair, and approached them.

"Kneel on the dais." she instructed. Spock stepped up onto the dais- Nyota followed, and they knelt across from each other, legs folded under them, next to the pit that held a small ceremonial fire. Spock extended the two fingers of his right hand, and Nyota followed his lead, two fingers touching against his in the _ozh'esta_. The bond had been closed since that morning- T'Pau had insisted on it- but through the skin contact, he could feel her joy, and her nervousness from being in front of so many observers.

T'Pau was saying something again- but once more, he was focused on his wife. She was smiling widely now, no longer trying to restrain herself. She increased the pressure of her fingers against his, as if to express her excitement.

T'Pau turned toward them, and reached out to touch each of their temples. Suddenly, all three of them were draw into a three-way mind meld.

To the outside observers, it would appear that T'Pau was guiding them into establishing the bond. But instead, she was merely instructing them to convey their emotional states. This was simple enough- soon they were exchanging their love, happiness, contentment- everything they currently felt.

T'Pau observed this mutely. Then she withdrew, and they were separate once more.

"I declare this union legitimate and sanctioned by the house of S'chn T'gai." T'Pau announced, turning to face the wedding party. "We welcome S'chn T'gai Nyota into our midst."

The bells were jingling again, filling the thin air with their clear song. The lirpas were pounded three times into the hard-packed sand at their feet. Drums from the farthest members of the party were beaten.

Spock stood, and held out his hand to Nyota, who accepted it. He pulled her up and led her off of the dais. She squeezed his hand tightly, and he opened the bond, letting her feel his love again. She was grinning now, white teeth glinting.

_"T'Pau's education regarding my behavior can wait." _Nyota thought at him. _"To hell with not smiling!"_

The wedding party was moving once more- turning toward the narrow entrance again. Spock and Nyota fell in line behind Sarek and Elder Spock- and they were led away.

The caves were near- only a quarter of a mile. The wedding party led them toward the waiting caves, the bells and drums still sounding, proclaiming to all within hearing range that the couple was now officially married. Well, not _quite _officially...there was still one last ceremony to undergo...

It seemed to take much longer than ten minutes to reach the cave that had been prepared for them. The entrance was dark and forbidding, but they hardly noticed as they stood before it together. Spock extended his fingers toward her again, and hers joined his in the _ozh'esta_. They stood like that, facing the party, until the Vulcans turned and began to leave.

They watched them recede into the distance, the bells and drums dying away...

And then they were alone at last.

**A/N: Yes, I know- I said the caves would be in this chapter. I lied. **

**Instead, all of chapter 20 will be devoted to the seven days in the cave. It will be full of a mixture of smut and fluff. **

**I think the wedding scene was a bit rushed, but that's because I'm so clueless about Vulcan weddings. **

**I was also supposed to have Nyota open that heirloom box that was Amanda's...but I forgot about it until I was halfway through the wedding, and I decided that this chapter was already long enough, so I'll work that in later. Plus, I was just too lazy to go back and add it, LOL.**


	20. Satiation

**A/N: Major hotness ahead!**

**Chapter 20: Satiation**

They stood there in silence for five seconds- and then Spock took her hand, drawing her toward the entrance to the cave. Nyota's heart was pounding with excitement as they ducked into the dark void.

He led her through the shadowy entranceway, deeper into the cave. She felt his own anticipation as they walked, and she squeezed his fingers lightly- he responded in kind, and lengthened his stride.

From up ahead, Nyota saw flickering, yellow light on the rock walls. A few seconds later, they turned around a corner and found themselves in the heart of the cave...it was about thirty feet in every direction. Candles were placed on the naturally-formed shelves in the walls, suffusing the air with a warm glow. Small pots of scented oil burned among them...Nyota noticed a passageway in the back corner, but couldn't guess where it led. The only thing that seemed out of place was a portable refrigerated unit, which presumably held their food for the next week, which was set against a far wall.

Nyota glimpsed a bed in the center of the room- a pallet with piles of blankets on top- before Spock spun her back around to face him. His eyes reflected the fluttering candle flames, but she could see the desire in them, as well as feel it. He rose a hand, stroking her cheek, while the other rested on her lower back, pulling her closer to him.

"_Na'palesh-tor_." he whispered. Nyota smiled, and he moved his fingers from her cheek to trace the curve of her lips.

"At last." Nyota agreed. His lips quirked up, and he leaned in toward her, his lips meeting hers tenderly. Her arms wound around his neck, pulling him as close as possible.

The kiss started off gentle, loving- but soon it became more urgent, passionate. Nyota pressed her hands to the back of his head, deepening the kiss, and he responded by tightening his hold on her waist and sliding his tongue into her waiting mouth, caressing hers gently. She moaned against him, and then she felt one of his hands on her breast, squeezing it gently, pinching the sensitive nipple. She clutched him even tighter, and felt his erection against her lower stomach. She broke away, panting.

"The bed." she said, and he nodded once. He slid his hands under her buttocks, and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around him, pressing herself against his hardness as he carried her to the pallet, laying her down onto it gently. Then he continued to kiss her, moving from her lips to her neck, and then her collarbone, nipping gently at the skin before moving to place a kiss against the top of her bodice. Her need to feel him on her intensified. "The dress. Get it off me." she managed to say through the roiling waves of need that were encompassing her. He needed no further encouragement- his fingers found the seam of the dress, and began to tear it off of her- there was no time to spare in trying to preserve the gown. There was a reason why it had been made of such flimsy material.

She felt a slight breeze as the cloth disappeared from her skin, ripped forcefully until she wore nothing at all, the remnants of the gown pinned underneath her. Spock swept his eyes over her nude form- he appreciated the fact that she had not bothered with underwear. She hadn't seen any need- panties would have made them lose a few seconds.

"You're still dressed." Nyota said, taking his attention off of the sight before him. She leaned forward, touching his _lok_ through his robes. She rubbed it, swiping her thumb over the head, keeping her eyes locked on his. "Take them off."

His eyes were still glued onto her as he began to disrobe. He did it slowly, teasingly. She withdrew her hand from him and laid back, tracing circles around one of her erect nipples. His eyes followed the movement almost hungrily.

He finally took off the last of his robes, revealing the hard, green organ that she so desperately wanted inside of her. She bit her lip at the sight, her sex throbbing anew and aching with need. She squeezed her thighs together, hoping to alleviate some of the ache- it did not help. Only one thing would help, and it was before her.

She reached out, taking his member into her hand, teasing the tip of it with her fingers. Then she leaned forward, and took the head into her mouth, like she had before, sucking on it while stroking the length of him. She watched as his eyes slipped closed.

She was surprised when he gently pushed her away, onto her back.

"My pleasure is unimportant at this time." he said, and kissed her breastbone, right between her breasts. Then he moved to take one delicate brown nipple in between his lips, tongue tracing circles around it before he began to suckle. Nyota's back arched toward him, and he sucked harder. She moaned again...he moved to inflict the same treatment on its twin- she felt his teeth graze against the tender flesh, resulting in tiny explosions of tingling pleasure.

He moved away from her nipple, and began to plant slow, hot kisses against her stomach, working his way downwards torturously slow. She whimpered in impatience, but he did not hurry his movements- he rested his hands on her hips, squeezing them slightly, and then moving to stroke the sensitive skin of her inner thighs, coaxing her to open up for him- it took very little coaxing. She spread her legs, arching her hips off the bed in silent entreaty.

"Patience, _adun'a_." Spock whispered against her lower belly. He then positioned himself between her legs, and continued to press slow kisses against her inner thighs.

"Spock." she keened, reaching down to lay a hand on his head, her fingers working their way through his hair as she began to gently guide him to where she wanted him. "Stop teasing."

He caught her hand and drew it away from him, pressing it against the bed.

"Do not touch." he commanded. She bit her lip again, and suppressed a groan of frustration- but she knew from his tone that he meant business.

He proceeded with his actions, kissing closer and closer...finally, after what felt like hours, he pressed a kiss against the outer lips of her _kotik_. This did not, in any way, relieve the ache that was now almost painful. She was breathing hard now, her chest heaving, breasts rising and falling. He kept his eyes on her as he began to run his tongue over the labia, not entering the moist crevice, but lightly brushing against the swollen nub at the top. She closed her eyes briefly.

_"Do not close your eyes." _he said in her head. _"I want you to watch."_

She shivered in desire, but obeyed. Her eyes felt unusually heavy as she looked down at the man below her. In reward for her good behavior, he slid his tongue into the folds, resulting in a sigh of delight from her. He licked the whole length of her wetness, and then began to swirl his tongue over her clit. She moaned louder now, fighting hard to keep her eyes on him. He looked up at her again as he caught the nub in between his lips, sucking hard.

She was unable to stop her hips from bucking toward him, and unable to stifle the cry that echoed in the cave. The sensation was white-hot, the pleasure so sharp that it almost hurt. Spock continued to suckle on the bit of flesh, and she felt his fingers stroking her entrance, before slowly sliding two fingers in. He crooked them slightly towards him in a 'come-hither' motion- and come she did, crying out as wave after wave of ecstasy crashed over her, her toes curling, the orgasm so strong that she felt her uterus contract in spasms.

When she came back to herself, he was sliding back up her body, kissing her everywhere on the way up, before finally kissing her lips again. His _lok_ throbbed against her inner thigh.

"Your turn." she whispered, and pushed on his shoulders. He obediently laid on his back, watching as she began to stroke him again, fingers tight around him. She began to lean forward to take him into her mouth again- but he stopped her.

"No, not now. I want _you_." he said. At this, Nyota felt her own arousal quickly returning, fueled by his, which she felt across the bond. Soon, she was aching again, and she nodded.

She moved to straddle him, and he placed one hand on her hip, the other moving up to fondle a breast, rolling a nipple between two nimble fingers. Her wetness pressed against the hard flesh below her, already coating it in her fluids. She moved against it, groaning, before reaching down to position him at her entrance- she pushed down, and he entered her for the first time in a week.

She threw her head back, eyes closed, as he filled her, impossibly hot and impossibly hard. She began to move- his _lok_ easing some of the ache each time she bore down, pressing against all the right spots. She opened her eyes to look down at him as she moved, sliding him in and out of her tightness.

His eyes were ablaze as he watched her, his gaze wandering from her flushed face down to her breasts, which bounced slightly every time she sheathed him, down to where their bodies were joined. She knew what he was thinking- he was admiring her beauty. He reached up to rub the pads of his fingers against her nipples again, and then his touch wandered lower, seeking her clit- as she lowered herself once more onto him, he pressed upwards. Again, that white-hot, burning pleasure that was almost painful in its intensity. She shuddered in her second orgasm, moaning his name as she did.

He took advantage of her momentary breathlessness, holding her tightly as he rolled them over, so that he was now on top. He began to move against her, filling her again and again, his breath hot against her shoulder. She could feel his own release building up, and he was taking her with him. Her whole body sang in anticipation, disregarding the fact that she had already had two orgasms- the ache was being sated, each glorious thrust bringing her ever closer to the edge of promised completion.

His movements were quickening, he was entering her harder each time- she wrapped her legs around him, her nails raking against his back, urging him on. She was moaning again, chanting his name, the crescendo beginning again, her whole body tingled...

_"Look at me, Nyota."_ Spock thought at her. She wasn't aware that she had closed her eyes, but now she opened them. He was looking at her face even as he continued to move, and she met his gaze. "Come with me." he murmured, and that was all it took.

With one last, powerful thrust, they both tumbled over the edge into oblivion.

________________________________________________________

"How long have we been here?" Nyota murmured sleepily. They had spent nearly three hours after their arrival becoming reacquainted with one another, and after awhile Nyota had fallen asleep, her arms wrapped around him, head buried against his shoulder. When she had awoken, they had made love again.

"Twelve hours, nine minutes, and-"

"I don't need to know the details." she chuckled, and moved up to kiss him. He tightened his arms around her. "Only twelve hours? Seems like longer than that."

"Regardless, that is the correct amount of time." Spock replied, now slowly stroking her bare back.

"I feel like I need a shower." she now said, arching her back as she stretched. Her inner thighs were coated with the remains of their pleasure.

"There is a natural hot spring in the cave." Spock said, drawing her closer to him. He arched an eyebrow. "For bathing, of course."

"Hmm." Nyota smiled. "I think I like the sound of a bath."

"Shall we go together?" he asked, biting her neck gently, his teeth scraping deliciously against her skin. She nodded, and he gathered her into his arms, lifting her from the pallet. She laughed as he carried her toward the passageway she had noticed before.

They found themselves in a smaller space, and there was indeed a hot spring there. The water was perfectly suited for Spock, although a little too warm for Nyota's immediate comfort. He eased down into the water, adjusting her so that her legs were draped over his lap. She rubbed his chest with her fingers, resting her head against the stone wall behind her.

"It's like a jacuzzi- just without the jets." Nyota said, smiling lazily. "Relaxing."

He moved his hands over her wet skin, massaging the muscles of her thighs and hips.

"I sense your discomfort." he said, his fingers moving in circular movements. "I may have been unnecessarily rough with you earlier."

"No, I'm fine- just a little sore. Nothing too bad, and it's already going away." she said. He moved her so that she was facing away from him, and he began to massage her shoulders and back. She closed her eyes, humming in contentment. "That's nice." she said.

It wasn't long before both of them were aroused again. Once they were both washed up, he carried her back out to the bed, her skin still glistening with droplets of water as he laid her there.

"I think this defeats the purpose of a bath." Nyota commented as Spock's hands moved over her body slowly, caressing each and every pleasure point she had- some of which she didn't even know about.

"Then there will be many more baths to come." Spock replied, laying his hand on her sex- not moving it, just letting the hot weight rest against her. She shifted her hips, pressing him more firmly against her, her eyes closing as her lips parted.

He watched as a flush crept up her cheeks, her collarbone...she was indescribably beautiful when her face showed her pleasure.

Contrary to her belief, Spock did not enjoy sex for the physical pleasure it gave him. Well- he did enjoy it, of course, no sane being could _not _enjoy it. But what he liked most about it was the pleasure it gave _her_- nothing satisfied him more than hearing her vocal expressions of how much he pleased her. He would be content with never sating himself, just as long as he could sate her. It was his duty to please his bond mate- and he had not failed her yet.

He slid his fingers into her moisture, the silk surrounding them. She sighed, and he continued the movements, his fingers sliding up to her clitoris, then down to her entrance, penetrating her. She rocked her pelvis against him, asking for more.

He withdrew his fingers- she was plenty ready for him. He positioned himself above her, and she wrapped her arms and legs around him.

It was not like before- when they had first arrived, and even after she was woken up, it had only been about sexual relief. But this time...they were not having sex, they were making love.

He kissed her tenderly, one hand stroking her cheek as the other supported his weight. He entered her slowly, and once he was completely within her, he paused to enjoy the feel of her as she surrounded his _lok_. Warm, wet, _tight_. He did not understand how human males- who did not have nearly as much control over their bodies as Vulcans- could last more than ten seconds inside such bliss. Perhaps he should give them more credit in this area.

He moved. She sighed against one pointed ear, tightening her hold on him. She was biting her lip, brow furrowed. Across the link, he felt her pleasure and burning arousal.

He kissed her again, and their lips barely separated for the rest of the time, as he slowly made love to her, one hand caressing her breasts, occasionally sliding down to stimulate her. Their warm breaths mingled together, their bodies sliding against one another effortlessly from the moisture left over from their bath.

As their pleasure increased, Spock began to kiss her everywhere- her eyelids, cheeks, chin, collarbone, neck...He sent her his love over their bond, and she responded.

"I love you." she murmured. He rested his forehead against hers, looking directly into her eyes as their climaxes neared, slowly. Even as his body bade him to move harder, faster, _deeper_, he did not. She did not urge him to- this was not sex for pleasure. They were expressing their love wordlessly.

Her soft sighs and moans filled the air as her peak neared. Still, he thrust slowly, tantalizingly. They were in no rush to bring an end to this.

Finally, she gave a soft, quiet cry, her inner muscles clenching around him, and suddenly her entrance was even wetter than before. Her limbs were trembling as they clung to him....he allowed himself to have his own release. With a quiet grunt, he filled her with his seed.

They laid there like that for a long time, neither moving or speaking a word. He dusted her with kisses on her face and neck, lips brushing softly against hers. Finally, he slid out of her and laid beside her, gathering her to his chest.

"_Taluhk nash-veh k'dular, ashayam_." Spock murmured, and she smiled against his shoulder.

___________________________________________________________

They laid together on the bed, curled around each other- they spent much of their time like that.

"I never did open that heirloom box of your mother's." Nyota said.

"Why not?" Spock asked.

"I wanted to open it with you. I didn't realize that we wouldn't be able to see each other before the ceremony." Nyota said. "Do you want to open it now?"

"It is here?"

"Yes, someone came to get whatever I might need, to take it to caves." Nyota climbed off the pallet, and headed toward a corner, where there was a bag. It had escaped his notice, somehow, over the last four days- they had been rather preoccupied. She bent over to pick up the red box, and he admired the view as her most intimate parts were exposed to him. He was smirking when she turned back around, bringing the box over to the bed and setting it down before joining him.

"Have you seen what's inside?" she asked.

"Yes, but it was many years ago." Spock replied, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to his chest as he sat up. "Open it."

Nyota slid her fingers under the clasp on the lid, and swung it back. Inside was an assortment of objects. Nyota took out the first- a silver hand mirror.

"Late nineteenth century, I believe." Spock said. "Many of the items in that box will be antiques."

The mirror was still in good condition. She held it up to her face and winced.

"What did you do to my hair?" she asked, patting it. It was a tangled mess. She caught his reflection smirking, and elbowed him playfully in the side.

"I _did_ warn you about oral stimulation." he murmured into her ear before turning her face to his and kissing her.

"You hair doesn't look so good, either." Nyota commented. It was true- it was sticking up all over the place due to the amount of times she had run her fingers through it.

She set aside the mirror and reached back into the box. This time, she drew out an old framed picture.

"My mother and her family when she was at the age of ten." Spock said. Nyota looked closely at the picture. There was a man and woman that she assumed were his grandparents, and two little girls. The taller one was definitely Spock's mother. They had the same warm brown eyes.

"Do you ever see them?" she asked.

"My grandparents are both deceased. My aunt lives in New York City. I have not seen her since I was thirteen."

Nyota now set aside the picture, and reached inside for the next item. This time she withdrew a small box. She opened it to find an assortment of jewelry.

"She stopped wearing Terran jewelry when she moved to Vulcan." Spock said, reaching around her to take out a set of earrings with dangling red stones. "These will look especially complementary on you." he added.

"They're beautiful." Nyota said, fingering the red stones before putting them back in the box. There were also several bracelets and necklaces- and a ring. "This looks like a diamond engagement ring." Nyota said, holding it up to the light of the candles, which they relit every night when the sun went down.

"That is the ring my father presented her with when he asked her to marry him the second time."

"The second time?"

"I believe you would find the story humorous. Someday I will tell it to you." Spock said, and took it from her. "Perhaps I should have given you a ring, myself."

"You didn't need to." Nyota said.

"It is the left ring finger, correct?" he asked, sliding it on for her. She smiled.

"Correct." she said. She admired the glittering stone for a moment, and then closed the lid to the jewelry box. She reached back into the red one- taking out two photographs. The first was one of Sarek and Amanda, sitting on a sofa beside one another. Sarek's arm was around Amanda's shoulder, holding her against his chest. She was laughing, eyes full of humor- and although his face was as expressionless as ever, Nyota knew that Sarek had been happy, too.

"This was taken shortly after they married." Spock said quietly. Nyota wordlessly set it aside- it was hard to believe that that woman, who was so full of life, was gone before her time. She lifted the second picture, and immediately burst into laughter.

"Oh, that is too good!" Nyota said, wiping away tears of mirth. Spock studied the picture, and she could feel his distaste. The picture was of him at about a year old- covered in some sort of pasta. And naked.

"I will never understand why she kept that particular picture." Spock said. "I was a child. Children do...strange things."

She was still laughing, her stomach starting to hurt from the spasms. He plucked the picture from her fingers and set it aside, face down.

"If we have a daughter for you to bequeath these things to, I will ensure that picture is not one of them." Spock said, and tightened his arms around her. She was starting to calm down now.

"Oh, I'm keeping that one, without a doubt. Imagine what the captain would say if he saw that! And McCoy!" she erupted into fresh laughter again.

"You would not dare." Spock said stonily.

"Of course I wouldn't." Nyota said, and leaned against him, her ribs hurting from laughing so hard. She reached back into the box and took out several more objects- all of which were antiques, as Spock had guessed. An old ivory brush, several antique rock and roll albums, and a music box. Nyota opened the box- it was the sort that had a ballerina in it that slowly revolved and played a tinkling tune when opened. Nyota began to put the things back into the box.

"I just remembered something." Nyota said. "Your father...well, we somehow got into talking about Amanda. He mentioned something about geneticists..."

"Due to the differences in their species, my parents had to resort to scientific means to conceive me." Spock said. Nyota set the box on the floor and turned back to him.

"So that means...if we want to have children, we have to go through all of that, too?" she asked, disappointed.

"No." Spock said, drawing her against him again. "They ensured that I am able to reproduce with either a human or Vulcan female."

"So we can do it the natural way?" she asked.

"Yes, _adun'a_. Or else I would have told you not to bother with your progesterone hypos." Spock said. Nyota sighed in relief.

"Good. I mean- I know we won't have children any time soon, but I didn't want to have to go through all that..."

"I would not want us to, either. My parents had a particularly difficult time with it."

She rested her head against him, and closed her eyes. This was her husband...and now, she was realizing that one day, he would be the father of her children. The idea of it was heartwarming.

"You'll make a good father, I think." Nyota said. "You're a good husband already."

He kissed her forehead, and she felt his gratefulness for her...reassurance?

"Were you worried more about being a bad husband or a bad father?" she asked, pulling away to look at him.

"I wish to be an adequate husband to you. It is what you deserve." Spock replied. She smiled and hugged him again.

"You don't have to worry about that, _adun_. You're exceeding my expectations more every minute- and my expectations were high."

His lips quirked up, and he laid her back on the bed. She laughed softly as his hands began to roam over her body once more. "I believe it is time to exceed your expectations again." he said.

________________________________________________________________

It was their last night. They had moved outside, and were sitting on a large rock near the caves. Both of them were completely naked- Spock had been serious when he had said clothing was prohibited in the caves. They were covered only by a thin blanket.

Spock's legs were stretched out, and she sat between them, her back against his chest. His arms were around her, and hers over his. Nyota was looking up at the starry sky above them, but Spock's face was buried in her shoulder, his breath hot against her collarbone.

It was a beautiful night. Unlike Vulcan, New Vulcan did have a moon, although it was much smaller than Earth's. It was full tonight, making the white sands that surrounded them glow. The stars stretched across the wide expanse of black space, going on forever, hundreds of thousands of twinkling lights. Tomorrow, they would be back amongst them.

She was not looking forward to it. Soon, they would have to return to bridge duties, immerse themselves in danger once more. The last two weeks had been a welcome relief from their lives, and the last week had been almost criminally happy and peaceful. She had never spent such a long amount of time with Spock, uninterrupted, before. It was a nice change.

Spock had been extraordinarily affectionate the last week. Ever since their bonding, it had been easier for him to show physical affection with kisses or light touches- because now he knew when she wanted them. But she had seen a gradual relaxation in him since their arrival in the caves. He no longer hesitated to do anything emotional. When they returned to the ship, she knew that would be the biggest loss.

She leaned her head against him and closed her eyes. They had come a long way...

Back when their relationship first started, she had had trouble getting him to allow much physical contact. It had taken her four months to sleep with him. Neither of them had had sex before, although Nyota had experience in almost everything else. The first time they had made love, she had thought it was wonderful, albeit painful. Looking back, she now realized how awkward it had been- neither of them had known what they were doing.

But of course, Vulcans are very fast learners. By the time they had sex the third time, he was giving her multiple orgasms and had already perfected the art of oral sex. It was amazing how much he had progressed.

It was not only the sexual aspect of their relationship that had changed, however. Spock had found it easier and easier to express his emotions to her- and only to her. She had seen him in every possible stage of emotional torment, and helped him through it as much as possible. She was his rock...and he was hers.

But there was still that one, niggling little worry...why hadn't he told her about Pon Farr? She had successfully shoved it into the back of her mind the last week, but now that she thought about the dangers awaiting in space, she began to worry about other dangers that were closer to her. If he trusted her completely, why hadn't he told her that one day, he might hurt her?

Suddenly, she felt anger that was not hers, and Spock lifted his face from her shoulder.

"Who told you?" he asked.

"T'Shan." Nyota replied. Of course, he had been listening to her thoughts. Sometimes, she still forgot about the link.

"It was not her place." Spock said, each word said with a bite. "She overstepped her boundaries."

"Spock, _someone_ had to tell me." Nyota said. "T'Shan told me that your mother almost died once-"

"That is because she was unprepared. My father did not inform her about Pon Farr- it was his responsibility to do so."

"Just like how you never told me that you might kill me one day?" Nyota snapped. Spock fell silent. The link closed abruptly for the first time in a week, and she sighed. "I didn't mean that, Spock." she said, tightening her hold on his arms and pressing her head against his shoulder.

"I was going to inform you. I just had not yet." Spock said quietly, his voice not betraying the pain she knew he was feeling. "I do not even know whether or not I will undergo it. But my mother survived it...and I am sure that you will, too. You are a strong woman, Nyota. If you were weak, we would not be here now- I never would have risked it."

"Spock, this is something you should have told me, right from the beginning. T'Shan said this was something embarrassing- but you still should have let me know."

"I have made many mistakes in this relationship. It appears that this is another." Spock said, somewhat bitterly.

"How did your mother cope with it?" Nyota asked.

"I remember two incidents in my life where my parents had a very strained marriage. They both happened to coincide with my father's cycle." Spock said. "I assume she did not cope with it for several weeks afterward."

"And how did she get over it?" she asked. "I need to know...for the future. I need to know what to expect."

"I believe my father helped her through it. It was stressful for the both of them- they had to recover together. Pon Farr can be very violent...one cannot always stop when asked to."

Nyota nodded, understanding. "But there's a chance you won't have it."

"But there is also a chance that I may. I hope not- I have no desire to hurt you, _ashayam_. If I do go through it..." he trailed off, and held her tighter, burying his face in her shoulder again. "I cannot lose you." he whispered.

"If your mother could get through it, so will I." Nyota said, and raised a hand to stroke his hair. But now she was remembering something else T'Shan had said...Amanda had told her that she may have thought twice about marrying Sarek if she had known what he was capable of. Would she, someday, think the same thing? She couldn't imagine ever thinking that about her Spock...

"Let's not think about this now, _k'diwa_." Nyota said. "You can talk to Elder Spock sometime, ask him about it."

"That is logical." Spock replied. They fell silent, and Nyota returned to looking at the stars. Spock opened the link again, and they shared love. She felt her worries buried once more, dropping away. She would be concerned about Pon Farr when- or if- it occurred.

Nyota began to trace patterns on Spock's thigh, her fingers lightly skimming over the skin. She felt his _lok_ stir, pressing against her lower back. He began to kiss her shoulder, gently sucking on the skin, his fingers dipping down into her sex. When they were both breathless and aching for one another, he wordlessly picked her up and lowered her onto him.

Her moans and cries of pleasure echoed around the surrounding rock, reaching up for the moon and stars, spiralling back down to the lovers below. Never had there been such serenity on New Vulcan.

________________________________________________________

Early the next morning, a hover-car came to get them. Dressed for the first time in a week- which felt strange- the couple met Sarek. None of them said a word as they got back into the hover-car and were taken back to the house- where they both had proper showers and breakfast that wasn't fruit or other foods that did not require preparation.

At 1000, Sarek took them to the Embassy, where the Enterprise would beam them up. He stood with them to say his farewells.

"Thank you for having us here." Nyota said, smiling at him. "And- thank you for Amanda's things."

Sarek nodded once, and looked down at the diamond ring she still wore. "You are welcome to them. I am sure Amanda would have given them to you herself. I suppose I should thank you for coming to New Vulcan."

"We were more than happy to." Nyota said, and Spock sent her a rather provocative image that she decided to ignore.

At that time, Spock's communicator- which had been entirely silent for the last two weeks- chirped. The Enterprise was in orbit and ready for beam-up.

"Live long and prosper, father." Spock said, raising his hand in the salute. Sarek returned it. "I am sure we will return someday." he added as he flipped open the communicator. Sarek stepped away, and Nyota nodded and smiled at him one last time before Spock instructed the Enterprise to energize.

With one last swirl of white light, New Vulcan disappeared- and then they were back on the Enterprise.

**A/N: Well, there's the end of this little story arc ;) Let me know what you think!**


	21. Confession

**Chapter 21: Confession**

Nyota sat before the communications console in her quarters, and stared at the blank screen for almost five minutes. She was gathering all the courage she had for the call she must make.

She had promised Spock she would do this. And so she would. But she couldn't do it with the link open- she didn't want him to hear the conversation. She closed it, and then leaned forward to turn on the console.

They had been back a week, now. Life aboard the Enterprise had resumed. She had delayed this moment as long as possible- but it couldn't wait any longer. Spock was right...her parents had a right to know, no matter how much they would disapprove, and no matter how much it would hurt her.

"Computer, call Earth- Nairobi, Kenya- recipients Omarr and Aminah Uhura."

There was a delay. Nyota glanced at the time- it would be mid-morning in Nairobi. She hoped they were home, because she wasn't sure if she could work up the nerve to do this again.

"Nyota?" came a woman's surprised voice.

"Mama." Nyota said, forcing a smile onto her face. "How's baba?"

"He's fine. He's here." Aminah said, and she looked over at someone off-screen. A few seconds later, her father had joined her mother.

"We didn't expect a call from you." Omarr said, his voice concerned. "Is everything alright?"

"Have you changed your mind about Starfleet? Are you coming home?" Aminah asked hopefully.

"Yes, everything is alright, no I haven't changed my mind about Starfleet, and no- I'm not coming home." Nyota replied all in one breath. Aminah sighed in disappointment, but then she looked sharply up at her daughter.

"You're not pregnant, are you?" she asked sternly. Nyota struggled desperately not to roll her eyes.

"No, I'm not." Nyota said.

"Then what's wrong?" Omarr asked, leaning closer to the screen.

"Nothing's wrong...in fact, everything's perfect." Nyota said.

"Then why are you calling out of nowhere like this? There has to be some reason." Aminah said, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning.

"You're right, I did call for a reason." Nyota said slowly. She sighed and bit her lip. Here goes nothing..."I'm married." she said bluntly.

They both stared at her wordlessly, as if hoping she would suddenly say that it was all a joke. Her serious expression did not waver.

"Married?" Omarr repeated, brows drawing together. "For how long- and more importantly- to _whom_?"

"Well, we've been officially married for two weeks." Nyota replied.

"Officially? What does _that _mean?" Aminah asked.

"And as for whom..." Nyota ignored her mother's question. "I'm married to a man named S'chn T'gai Spock."

There was a deep silence. Comprehension slowly dawned on them.

"A non-Terran?" Omarr asked slowly. Aminah's eyes were wide as she stared at Nyota.

"A Vulcan." Nyota confirmed. The silence stretched on.

"You married a Vulcan...you married an emotionless, walking computer?" Aminah asked. "You married him just to spite us, didn't you?"

"No!" Nyota said, angry that they thought she would do such a thing. "I married him because I love him! You had nothing to do with it. I didn't tell you for obvious reasons."

"How did he trick you into it?" Omarr asked. "Nyota- you may think you love him- but he can't love you back! What are you _thinking_? There are plenty of decent, hard-working Terrans you could settle down with. Men who don't risk their lives in Starfleet, have a steady job-"

"I don't want any Terran, no matter their occupation or location." Nyota said fiercely. "And Spock didn't trick me into anything. He _does _love me."

"Oh, God, he's done something to her! Used one of those mind tricks or something!" Aminah hissed at her husband.

"How can you trust him, Nyota?" Omarr asked. "Vulcans have those telepathic abilities- I know _I _can't trust anyone who can mess with your mind."

"And they're stronger than humans! Who's to say he won't hurt you- even accidentally?" Aminah put in. This made Nyota think of Pon Farr- but she shoved that thought away, just as she had before.

"And what about any children you might have? They'll be teased constantly!" Omarr said. Nyota's hands were balled into fists by this time, her nails cutting half-moons into her palms. She was trying her best to remain in control of her anger.

"Nyota, honey, are you sure you can't just get a divorce? It's for your own safety, you know-" Aminah started.

"This is _exactly_ why I didn't tell you." Nyota said in an ice-cold voice. "You hate and fear what you don't understand. You don't _try _to understand. I knew all along you wouldn't approve. Ever since I was a little girl, you went on about how non-Terrans aren't to be trusted. I'm amazed that I've turned out differently than you- that I can be unprejudiced. I'm grateful for that.

"I could- and _would_- have gone the rest of my life without ever telling you about Spock, because I knew you'd never accept him. But it was _Spock_- the Vulcan who you believe to be so untrustworthy- who insisted that I tell you. He thought you had a right to know- and he's right. You _do_ have a right to know. But you _don't_ have the right to tell me that I'm wrong for the decisions I have made. I am an adult and fully capable of handling my own life." Nyota said, eyes flashing, jaw clenched.

"Nyota, are you sure-?" Omarr began.

"_Yes_, I am sure! Have you not been listening? There will be no divorce, and no apologies for who my husband is. The only thing I'm sorry for is that you two are too bigoted to see that I'm _happy _being married to a Vulcan. If you really cared about me, that should be all that matters to you. And then you'd love and accept him as much as I do.

"If you are only going to try to split us up, then don't call me. Don't attempt any contact in any form. I don't need your poisonous attitudes spreading discord in my marriage. I have done what I set out to do- I informed you about my marriage, and you responded exactly as I knew you would. All I want to say to you now is- live long and prosper." With that, she reached forward and severed the connection.

_______________________________________________________________

She was still agitated. She paced the room, fists clenching and unclenching, trying to master her emotions.

She had known they would think she had made a big mistake. She had known that they would try to talk her out of it. So why was she so upset?

She felt Spock accessing the link. She felt his surprise when he found the turmoil she was in.

_"I will be there in 3.4 minutes, _ashayam_." _he said. Nyota felt relieved...Spock was coming to comfort her. She felt his concern for her.

He arrived at her door and came in- she had set the system to allow him entry, because he pretty much lived in her quarters now. He only went to his for meditation.

"What is it?" he asked immediately, crossing the room to place his hands on her arms, rubbing the bare skin soothingly.

"I told them." Nyota said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "My parents."

"You were aware of their opinions about Vulcans. You knew how they would react. That should have prevented you from reacting so emotionally. I do not understand- why are you upset when you knew what to expect?"

The exact same question she had just been asking herself.

"Spock, please don't use logic in this situation." Nyota said. "None of it is logical. My parents have no logical reason to dislike you, but they do already. I guess I'm upset because I want them to welcome you into the family, like Sarek did for me."

She slid her arms around him and laid her forehead against his sternum. He rested his chin on the top of her head.

"I do not require the acceptance of your family." he said.

"I don't either." Nyota said firmly. "But it would have been nice if they had surprised me by saying it was okay, as long as I'm happy."

"And are you happy?" he asked.

"Isn't it illogical to ask a question you already know the answer to?" Nyota asked with a chuckle. She pulled away to look up at him. "I'm happy with you. Almost _insanely_ happy, actually. But there _are _other things in my life I'm not happy about. My parents, for one thing- my relationship with them has been strained ever since I joined Starfleet. They've made it clear that I'm a disappointment to them. At first, it hurt a lot. That's why I hardly ever talk about them. I've wanted their approval for years. Now I realize that I don't give a damn if what I want to do meets their expectations or not. This is my life- and if I want to marry a green-blooded, pointy-eared logical Vulcan, then that's _my_ choice. I'm not going to let them stop me."

He rose an eyebrow, and she smiled, tracing the arch of it with one finger.

"I mean that in the most loving way possible." she added. "I happen to find your ears to be sexy. I don't mind the green blood- and the logic I'm dealing with."

She reached up to touch both pointed ears, tracing the curves. He leaned into her touch.

"I know you were not insulting me." he said. "But it is thirty minutes past 1700."

"Oh!" Nyota said, dropping her hands and turning to her closet. "We'd better get ready. The captain said to be in the chapel at 1800."

Today was the Terran wedding- and afterward, there would be a reception in the rec room. Nyota had no idea who had been invited to the wedding or the reception- Kirk had been in charge of most of the plans. That made her nervous...

"Now, it's a tradition that the groom isn't allowed to see the bride in her wedding dress before the ceremony, so you have to leave." Nyota said. "Your dress uniform is in your quarters, anyway."

"Why can I not see you in the dress?"

"Supposedly, seeing the bride in her wedding dress brings bad luck." Nyota said with a shrug. "I'm not superstitious, but just go with it, okay?"

Spock now rose both eyebrows, but he turned to leave. Once he was gone, she forced herself not to think about her parents as she changed into the dress that had arrived the day before- it was white silk, not full length, ending just below the knee, with spaghetti straps. It was simple, and she hadn't seen any need to buy something she would never wear again- especially since she was technically already married, anyway.

Once she was dressed she pulled on a pair of white high heels, and curled her hair into thick ringlets, leaving it down. She knew Spock preferred it when her hair was down around her shoulders.

She was ready. She turned and left her quarters, heading for the chapel.

_________________________________________________________________

The rec room was loud. People pressed in around them, shouting congratulations as they drank liquor provided by Dr. McCoy and Scotty. Laughter and chatter filled the air.

Nyota had almost been furious when she saw how many people the captain had invited to what was supposed to be a small, private ceremony. The chapel had been full to bursting with people she barely knew- or didn't even know at all. Kirk had claimed that they needed as many guests as possible to properly celebrate their union. And that was the main point- to have a big party with heavy drinking. She hadn't wanted her Terran wedding turned into an excuse for partying.

But when she saw the massive pile of wedding presents sitting on a table, she began to change her mind. This might be interesting.

"Guests of honor sit here!" Kirk said, gesturing toward two chairs in the center of the room, right next to the table. Nyota and Spock sat down, looking around them. There was another table nearby, covered in food and beverages, and also a cake.

_"I see no logical reason for this." _Spock said to her.

_"Neither do I- but maybe we got some good gifts?" _she said, looking at the table. It looked like almost everyone on the ship had gotten them something- even the people who couldn't be there because of duties.

_"You look...exquisite in that dress." _Spock told her. She smiled.

_"You don't look too bad yourself, in that dress uniform." _she said. Her eyes roamed over the pale blue uniform jacket. She could imagine taking it off of him later.

"All right, now it's time for the presents!" Kirk said, standing on a chair to get everyone's attention. The room fell almost silent. "Mine first, since I married them."

"Technically, Jim, as we were already married, you did not." Spock pointed out.

"Just bear with me, Spock." Kirk said, hopping down off the chair and taking a wrapped package off the pile and handing it to him. "Open it."

Spock was much too slow in opening it. He unfolded the ends of the wrapping paper gently, determined not to rip it. Nyota sighed and reached over, seizing one end and tearing it.

"No need to preserve it- like certain other things that have been shredded by you." Nyota said under her breath. Spock did not reply, but she felt his amusement.

Spock finished tearing off the paper, and revealed...a copy of _Tantric Sex_. The room roared with laughter at that. Spock's eyebrows shot up.

"Just for the record." Nyota said, looking Kirk dead in the eye as he laughed. "We don't need this."

The room now erupted in whistles and more laughter. Nyota was smirking as she took the book from Spock's hands and set it on the table.

_"That was unnecessary." _Spock said, but he wasn't angry- he was amused, just like she was.

_"I didn't want to leave them in any doubt about how good you are in bed." _Nyota said. _"Would you prefer that they think you're lacking in that department?"_

_"I prefer that they not know anything at all." _Spock replied. As he said this, Nyota thought back to the cave...to making love on the pallet, on the boulder, in the hot spring bath...against the wall...

_"You know, if we ever have to move to New Vulcan, I want to see if we can take up permanent residence in that cave. Or at least buy it for private use." _Nyota said dreamily._ "Fond memories there, you know."_

More presents were handed to them. They seemed to get a mixture of everything...alcohol (from McCoy, of course, who told them that they would have to share it, because it was the last of his best brandy- although they wouldn't have drinken it anyway), a set of silverware, some truly ugly decorations that she assumed were foisted off onto them from someone who had gotten them as gifts, too...and Janice Rand had gotten her lingerie.

Her eyebrows rose higher and higher as she pulled out a red thong, garter belt, sheer knee-high stockings, and a red corset. The whole room exploded this time. Janice was winking at her.

"I think that one's more for Mr. Spock." she said. At this, everyone laughed harder. Spock, of course, did not react outwardly.

_"Interesting." _Spock thought as he looked at the undergarments in Nyota's hands. Nyota laughed now, too. Red happened to be the color Spock appreciated the most on her. Janice didn't know it, but she had struck gold.

Nyota put the items back in the gift bag they had come in and set it on the table. Once the last of the presents were opened, it was time for the food. Nyota was more than glad to get the attention off of them, at least for a little while.

"That was an unusual experience." Spock said as he sat beside her with his plate. "Must we keep the hideous objects, such as the ceramic rooster?"

Nyota laughed. "No. Those are the kinds of presents that people give to others only because they didn't like them, themselves."

"Then why would someone give it to them?"

"Because they didn't like it either. Whoever bought it had really tacky taste in decoration." Nyota turned to looked at him. "But not all the gifts were bad."

"No, they were not. The lingerie, for example..." Spock trailed off, lips quirking upwards. She didn't reply to that, but turned back to her plate.

She looked around her as she ate. Everyone was talking loudly, laughing and drinking. Having a good time. She was glad that they had decided to have a Terran wedding as well. She could even forgive Kirk for inviting all those people- the reception was a success, and she was enjoying herself immensely.

She looked down at her left hand, where she now wore both Amanda's engagement ring, and the platinum wedding band Spock had placed on it two hours earlier. He had flat-out refused to wear one himself, because Vulcans did not wear rings. She had tried to convince him- but then remembered what he had said almost two months before. There were two cultures in this marriage, and it was inevitable that they not see eye-to-eye on cultural observances. They would have to make compromises. So she wore the ring, and he did not. They didn't really need physical evidence of their marriage, anyway.

It was strange, because they were married as soon as Spock established the bond- yet it hadn't felt official until the ceremony on New Vulcan. She recalled how she had felt as she walked toward him across the sand. She had actually _felt _like a bride, walking toward her future. Nervous but also giddy with excitement. And she had felt the same way earlier, walking down the aisle toward him in the chapel, all eyes on her.

Maybe ceremonies were more important than she had originally thought. They made it seem more real, less like a dream.

She looked to her right, at her _adun_. He was watching her, listening to her thoughts.

_"You've made me the happiest woman ever, Spock." _she thought at him, tears gathering in her eyes. _"Thank you for that."_

_"You are welcome...although I should point out that there are three billion Earth women. The odds are high that at least one is happier, or at least _as_ happy as you are. To say that you are the happiest woman is-"_

_"An illogical assumption?" _she guessed, and smiled. "Shut up, Spock." she said out loud.

He pressed his lips together slightly, and she felt his disapproval at her interruption. She glanced around her- everyone was half-drunk or worse, and seemed to have completely forgotten what they were celebrating.

"I don't think anyone will notice if we leave now." she commented. Spock tilted his head, his disapproval disappearing.

"You are ready to leave already?" he asked. Nyota stood.

"I was ready to leave almost as soon as we arrived. I just had to wait for the alcohol to kick in." she said. Spock stood with her. And before they left the rec area- Nyota saw Spock grab the gift bag containing the lingerie.

**A/N: Okay, hate to break it to you, but the next chapter will be the last chapter of Essential. But don't worry! There will be a sequel coming out soon. I just want to concentrate for a short while on my new project. I've been wanting to write a Sarek/Amanda origins story for awhile now, so I'm going to do that. I think I will just write shorter chapters for that one, and work on the sequel to this at the same time. If I do that, my updates probably won't be as frequent as they have been. **

**Anyway...the Sarek/Amanda story. I hope some of you will read it ;) It will go into detail about the things mentioned, and will at first concentrate on how they met and got together. Then it will move on to show other moments of their life. Which means you'll see baby!Spock. And you'll get the juicy details of the 'story' Spock mentioned in the last chapter about the two marriage proposals...amongst other things. And yes, I'm shamelessly promoting it already, LOL. I'm also thinking about doing a one-shot for the lingerie scene, because it's not going to be in the next chapter. **

**I will have more information on the titles for both the Sarek/Amanda story and the sequel when I update tomorrow. **


	22. Epilogue: Resolution

**Epilogue: Resolution**

Nyota walked down the corridor, the heels of her boots clunking against the floor, echoing against the metal-lined walls. Starfleet personnel brushed past her, and she smiled and nodded at them as she passed.

It had been two months since she returned from New Vulcan. Two happy, relatively calm months. Others complained that they were bored- but she found that boredom and calm were two different things.

She reported for bridge duty, had her sessions with Remaja, and spent the evenings in the warm arms of her husband. Life couldn't get any more simple- or better.

The only disruptions had been the occasional ringing of the comm unit. It was her parents, trying to contact her- every time they called, she disconnected the console. They didn't have anything to say that she would want to hear. If she had to avoid them the rest of her life- so be it. It didn't matter if their behavior hurt her. She wasn't going to give up Spock to appease them.

Nyota paused at Remaja's door and keyed in her code. She had just gotten off bridge duty, and it was time for their session. She entered to find the woman already sitting at the table, waiting for her.

"Hey, Remaja." Nyota said, smiling as she set down her PADD.

"Hello, Nyota. Did you bring the data slates I asked for?" Remaja asked. Nyota reached into her carrying case and drew out several multi-colored data chips with a flourish.

"There they are." Nyota said, setting them on the table before her friend. "All the way up to high school graduate level."

Remaja's English was almost perfect now. It was astounding how fast she had become fluent. In the last two months, Nyota had started her on educational programs- she had flown through the elementary and middle school levels. McCoy had told Nyota that it was possible that she had an even faster learning curve than Vulcans- something Spock had begrudgingly agreed with. Unfortunately, this would only fuel the interest scientists would have for her. Remaja was leaving the ship in a week- to be dropped off at base on Earth. Nyota had tried to get an extension on their study, but Starfleet had flat-out refused.

Remaja had helped her complete most of the language study, anyway. She had a full working alphabet and an extensive vocabulary. Nyota wasn't quite as fluent in the new language as Remaja was in Standard, however.

"Are we going to the rec area today?" Remaja now asked. Nyota shook her head apologetically. Once Remaja had demonstrated continued excellent behavior, Kirk had given her permission to leave her quarters- but only as long as Nyota was with her.

"No, I got off duty too late. Tomorrow, though, okay?"

"I understand. Your husband waits for you." Remaja grinned slyly. "Must not keep Ears waiting in your bed."

"You've become more and more impertinent, you know that?" Nyota asked, and reached over to take Remaja's PADD from her. "You must have been around Captain Kirk too much lately."

Nyota loaded the first chip into the PADD and handed it back to Remaja.

"I find this technology the most fascinating of all." Remaja said as she took the PADD back. "So much knowledge in such a small device."

"Fascinating?" Nyota smirked. "You and Spock are more alike then you'd ever admit."

"There were no such things on Tenoba." Remaja continued, ignoring what she would consider to be an insult. For some reason, she really distrusted Spock- she didn't like his ears, and how he never smiled. And the fact that Nyota's evenings were reserved for him.

"Tenoba." Nyota repeated. Remaja had used that name before. It was the native name of Scorpius Three- but it would never be Tenoba in her head.

"They are not advanced." she now said. "They are too busy warring and plundering and capturing to pay attention to science."

Nyota felt her breath leave her. For months, she had avoided the topic of Remaja's home world. Now the Tenoban was bringing the subject up herself.

She _did_ want to know. But part of her was afraid of what she may find out.

"You never talk about it." Remaja observed, yellow cat-eyes trained on Nyota. "I know you want to. Why else would you have taken me on? You could have easily given me to someone else months ago. You want to understand."

Nyota took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I do. But not if it's in any way a painful subject for you."

"My pain on the matter is not your concern. You deserve to understand. You are not Tenoban- you do not comprehend what happened."

Nyota sat back in her chair, staring at the woman across from her. Remaja was watching her intently.

She had been over what had happened for four months. The nightmares had stopped the night Spock came to her and they bonded. But she could not deny that there were still times when, unexpectedly, that dark hut would float into her mind's eye. She would remember blood, dirt, pain...she supposed the emotional scars would never fully go away. And for months, whenever those images came to mind, she could only think of one word: _Why?_

Scorpius Three was connected to everything that had happened recently. Her 'break-up' with Spock, and their subsequent making-up bonding- and then Kathosia. The similarities between Kathosia and Tenoba were striking. And those indirectly affected their visit to New Vulcan- it was all interconnected. If not for what had happened to her, who knew when she and Spock would finally have bonded? Would Spock and Sarek ever mended their relationship? Would Spock have killed the _Koshaak_?

It was strange that something so pointless, so cruel and scarring, could produce so many good things in a chain reaction of events.

She needed closure. She needed to know why this one bad thing had happened to her. She couldn't let her fear prevent her from it- she was stronger than that. If she she could stand up to her parents and stand by her decision, then she could stand up to herself and finally hear the truth.

"What happened on Tenoba?" Nyota asked quietly. Remaja kept her gaze on her as she began to speak without hesitation.

"The big man who claimed you as his property was my owner. His name was Joraat. He was the leader of the tribe- he was allowed to take what he wants as his. Tenoban men are possessive and violent. Mating rituals there are not like how they are here- there is no romance, no love. You are lucky to have that. But I should start by telling you my own story.

"I was taken from my own village when Joraat attacked and pillaged it. I lived there with my mate, and our daughter, Tyani." Remaja broke off here, and Nyota saw that her eyes were filling with tears. She blinked them away before continuing. "I was lucky to have my mate. We did love each other- that is rare. He was good to me, and we cherished Tyani.

"My mate was killed in the struggle. I did not see it happen- but I saw his body. I did not have time to mourn him...I had to get Tyani to safety. He would have wanted that, too. I knew what Joraat was looking for. He was looking for potential mates. That is what they do...burn other villages to the ground to look for suitable women." Remaja paused again. Then she continued.

"He found me. He took Tyani from my arms and took us to his village. He took my daughter somewhere else, and I was tied to a pole in a hut very similar to the one you were in. Then the poles and whips came. They beat me- just as they did to you."

Nyota had known this, but hearing Remaja talk about it like it was nothing unnerved her. When she did not immediately continue, Nyota asked; "Why? Why did they beat us?" that was what she wanted to know the most.

"I said that mating rituals are not the same for Tenobans as it is for you. Some villages, such as the one I am from, are peaceful and no longer practice such brutality. But some- like Joraat's village- still do. They tie their women to poles and beat them. Why? To break them. To make them obedient. To prove that men are the bringers of pain if they are not obeyed.

"They beat women until they cry, until they beg for their lives. Only then do they let them go, to serve their whims and desires. If the woman does not break, then they kill her. I did not break. I refused to beg. So they brought my Tyani before me, and made me watch as they killed her."

Nyota was stunned. Remaja looked away from her for the first time, down at the table.

"She was only six years old." she said quietly. "The sight of her laying there dead broke me, not the whip. Your doctor McCoy has offered to remove the scars from my back, but I refuse. They are a reminder. A reminder that I should have given in sooner, to spare her life. And if they still killed her, I should have let them kill me, too."

"Remaja...it's not entirely your fault. You didn't know they would kill her..." Nyota said, reaching out to take Remaja's hand.

"That is true. They did not need to kill her...she was only a little girl. I despise Joraat, and his people. I bade my time, pretending to be obedient while still grieving for my mate and my daughter. Then, one day, a hunting party came back with you. They spoke of your odd eyes and dull teeth, and of your skin, which is lighter than ours but darker than the men you came with. They said you were beautiful, and that Joraat wanted you as his. So they took you to the hut and bound you.

"I listened at the door as they beat you, and every time you cried out my heart hurt for you. You are not Tenoban. You were from somewhere else, somewhere far away. Somewhere they don't beat their women. I wanted to help you- so I did. I gave you water and bathed your wounds. And when you escaped, I warned you that others were coming. When you took the strange device and spoke into it, to this ship, I knew that I had a chance for my own freedom. I took it when I took your arm.

"You do not need to be grateful for my saving your life, Nyota. You are not beholden to me. I saved you, and you saved me. We helped each other to freedom, and we are even. And since we have been on this ship, you have been a friend to me when no one else has."

Silence fell in the room, neither of the women looking at each other. Nyota was struggling not to cry. For months she had wondered why she had been in that hut...for months she had wondered what had happened to Remaja. Now she knew, and she found that Remaja's fate was far worse than hers had been.

"I am sorry, Remaja. You should not have lost your daughter. The Tenobans..."

"Are cruel, and I have no desire to ever return to that place." Remaja said flatly. "There is nothing I can do for Tyani now. She lives on in my memory, and she and my mate wait for me in the afterlife. They would not want me to feel guilty for a situation I could not control. It took me three years to realize that. Joraat would not have allowed Tyani to live, no matter what. They would still have killed her, I know that now from other things I saw in that village."

They were quiet for several minutes. Finally, Remaja picked up her PADD and looked at the screen.

"I leave in five days, correct?" she asked. Nyota nodded. "I understand that I must go."

"You will have more freedom on Earth." Nyota said. "You can do whatever you want."

"Do you think..." Remaja looked up at Nyota again, curiously. "Do you think that Starfleet would accept me?"

Nyota was surprised. "You want to join Starfleet?" she asked.

"Yes. I would like to be a science officer." she said. "I have a great like for science. Would they take me?"

"Well...yes, I'm sure they would, as long as you pass those high school-level courses and the entrance exams into the academy..." Nyota said. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I would like to see other planets. And I feel that the Enterprise is my home, after being here so long. I would like to serve with you, one day."

"That would...that would be nice." Nyota said, and watched as Remaja started the first ninth-level course. The glanced around, and noticed the picture of her cousin that still sat on the bedside table. Remaja had said that she looked like Tyani...Nyota swallowed past the lump in her throat and looked back at Remaja, whose eyes were on her again.

"Do not feel sorry for me, Nyota. I am coping. The past is the past. You should enjoy your own life instead of being concerned with mine. You have a husband that you love, and someday you will have children. Focus on that, not on me. I have moved on, and you should too."

Nyota looked away but nodded. Remaja was not wallowing in self-pity, and she didn't need Nyota to do it for her. She was right- Nyota should concentrate on the future.

"I'm going to miss you, Remaja." Nyota said quietly.

"I will miss you too, Nyota." Remaja said. "Can we keep in touch? I will be lonely on Earth."

"Of course we can! Before you leave, I'll teach you how to operate the communications console. Then you can call whenever you need to."

"Thank you." Remaja smiled widely, pointed teeth glittering. Nyota stood, and went around the table to hug her friend.

"You'll be back on the Enterprise before you know it. You know, Spock was able to blast his way through the academy in two years. I'm sure you can do it in one."

"Ah yes, Spock." Remaja said, pursing her lips. "Isn't he waiting for you?"

Nyota glanced at the time. "He's off-duty now." she said.

"Then go." Remaja said, pushing gently on Nyota's arm. "And do not think about me or my past. I do not want it to sadden you. Be grateful for what you have."

Nyota squeezed Remaja's shoulder and smiled before heading for the door.

"See you tomorrow, Remaja." she said.

"Goodbye, Nyota." Remaja replied.

Nyota left the room and started toward the turbolift. She was in the lift when she realized that she was smiling to herself. Somehow- even after the emotional conversation today- she always felt better after talking to her. Remaja was wise, and had been through more than Nyota ever had. And she had survived...and was even thriving. She was starting over.

The lift doors slid open, and Nyota walked to her door. It opened for her and she entered.

Spock was sitting up on the bed, back against the headboard, wearing only a pair of black cloth pants he often wore to bed or when meditating. He was reading from a PADD and did not even look up as she began to take off her boots and strip out of her uniform. She pulled on one of his undershirts and crawled into bed beside him. Still not taking his eyes off the screen before him, he moved his arm to accommodate her as she snuggled up against him, resting her head on his shoulder, throwing one bare leg over his thigh. His warm fingers closed over her arm, and began to slowly rub it.

She rested one hand against his chest with a sigh. He was so warm, his presence so comforting. Remaja was right...she should be grateful for what she had.

Scorpius Three was over, and it was behind her. Even Remaja was moving on. It was time for her to, also. Thinking about what had happened to them would only make her feel worse, and it would not help. She had her closure now...she knew what had happened, and why. That did not make it easy to accept, but she now had her answers.

Nyota felt hot lips brush against her forehead, and she looked up. Spock's eyes were on her, dark and full of love even if the rest of his face didn't show it. She smiled, and tilted her face up more. He kissed her tenderly, slowly, and she smiled against his lips. He rested his forehead against hers for a moment, and his love flowed into her, filling her, buoying her spirits. He would not let her think about anything sad, and he was telling her as much. The past was the past, no matter whose past it was.

As he returned to his PADD, she pressed her cheek against his shoulder, still smiling. This was true peace.

**A/N: Yes, I ended it kinda sad, and it was short...but I needed to wrap up some loose ends. The sequel is going to be called 'Endurance'. I think. Might change it, I don't know...what do you think? But it should be up sometime in the next few days. It will eventually have more of Remaja, and Nyota's parents. Tomorrow I'm going to work on the Sarek/Amanda story, though, which is called 'The Vulcan's Wife'. (EDIT: First chapter of The Vulcan's Wife is now up) Not very creative, I know. Me+titles= lame. So look for both!**

**Well, what do you think of the ending?**


End file.
